They Will Reveal Themselves

Remember, you don’t have to reveal how other people are. You don’t need to talk about how you see them, you don’t need to tell other people about their “true colors” because you know what? Eventually, they will reveal themselves.

I am a bad case of speaking my mind uncontrollably before. I share my pointless, petty opinions and what I think—mostly about other people’s habits and behaviour. I will tell person B about how person A is and then I end up being the bad guy (always) for speaking my mind when in reality, I just told the truth about how I see other people. I was so confused, baffled and I can’t even believe that they feel like I am destroying them when all I ever did was describe how I observed them. Maybe in the manner of how I said it and the intent as to why I said it is bothersome (before) but I realized soon enough that I should just keep my judgments to myself especially if it’s not important, because after all, I need not tell other people about how other people are because they will reveal themselves in the end.

So queber nalang. Kahit “totoo naman eh” diba? Ipapakilala nila kung sino sila talaga kasi wala pa akong kilalang plastic na napanindigan yung pag-babait baitan niya. Eventually, lalabas ang tunay na ugali nila for the whole world to see. Di ko kailangan i-justify sa ibang tao kung sino at anong klaseng tao talaga sila. Kasi pati sarili nila, kilala nila. ‘Wag na tayong maglokohan. 😉

The Bad Things

Acknowledge but don’t dwell.

I have a bad habit of shrugging stuff off my shoulder in the fear that I will dwell and break my heart over and over again. I choose to ignore it as much as I can that’s why in the end, I don’t learn anything from it. Usually, it gets forgotten until it creeps out from the back of my head again. That’s how it was and that’s how I always choose to do things.

Now, it’s different. I have learned to acknowledge the bad things, accept it as it is and try to move on from it no matter how hard it could be. It’s a little less hurtful to be honest.

So the next time you encounter something bad, a heart breaking experience or a tragic event, embrace it even if it hurts, acknowledge and accept it so that it will be easier to learn from it and move forward.

My No Bullshit Mouth

If there’s one thing I can call a sort of curse, a double edged sword, a good and bad thing about myself, it’s me having no time for speaking bullshit. No sugar coating, blatant and plain truth.

I am not good at sugar coating. AT ALL. I’ve never been good at sugar coating. Sugar coating and good positioning are two different things which may look alike. You see, when you sugar coat you make it look like something is not bad at all. You say things as if they were really okay while good positioning is saying the bad stuff in a very well-mannered way.

I can do good positioning maybe because I’ve worked as a client care specialist for two years but sugar coating? Nope. Never.

Most of the time, it puts me in a pretty bad situation but the odd thing that I don’t get is WHY DO I GET IN TROUBLE FOR SPEAKING THE TRUTH? Why do people look at me differently when I tell them the truth? Why do people feel like I’m a bad person, I’m someone they wouldn’t get along with whenever I tell them the truth?

You see, there are circumstances that I either choose to not talk at all or tell the whole fucking truth. While most of the time, I blurt the truth because that’s the right thing to do.

I am often judged because I simply don’t bullshit. I am mistaken for having a bitchy attitude because of being someone who can speak the truth without fear.

If I have to say it over and over again, I will. The truth most of the time, hurts. The truth is sometimes hard to accept but in fact it should be easier to do with than deal with lies right? I just really don’t get it most of the time. I get in trouble for telling the truth and I keep asking what has become of the world? I am taught that I will get in a much deeper shithole if I lie so I grew up telling the truth even if it hurts, even if it means breaking my or someone’s heart.

Why do I get judged and sneered at for telling the truth? Idk. It’s either people like hearing lies most of the time or had to deal with so much bullshit that any other amount of bullshit will not hurt.

If I get asked “is this okay?” and I know it’s not okay, I tell them straight it’s not okay. What the fuck is wrong with that anyway?

You asked a question, I answered it with the truth, why do I get fucked up for telling the truth?

3 Things I Hate The Most

As much as possible, I try to keep everything I write filled with more positivity than negativity but also, thinking about how I want this blog to be personal, we can’t let some negative things go in the background cause a few bad things here and there makes up for whatever beautiful life you have right? So I’ve decided to write about these things which is out of pure emotion (and rage) bear with me if this goes so bad afterwards. Lol.

I’ve got 3 things. 3 things that make me insane, that brings out the beast (I was meaning to say ‘bitch’ but it sounds so wrong when I say it) in me. 3 things that if I notice you have, I will automatically retreat from you never to return again. If I sense you have at least one of these 3 things I hate the most, you’re out.

  1. Pathological Lying
  2. Attention Seeking
  3. Social Climbing

When it comes to pathological lying, it’s just hopeless. If you’re a pathological liar, I don’t think it would be easy to correct that. To give you a better view about pathological lying, it’s when someone lies habitually. Like responding to a question with a lie because for them, the truth seems awkward or uncomfortable no matter how simple the truth can be. The deed is so strange and annoying, it’s irritating and aggravating but what gets me the most is that when people lie to me, I feel like they think they’re smarter or better than me? Or probably, they think I’m stupid enough to actually believe it. I hate to say this because it sounds so vain and wrong in all sorts possible but the truth is, I am very analytical, I think about stuff A LOT. I don’t miss out on clues, cues and whatnot. Therefore, I’m smart and I can easily detect deception and lies so fucking why bother lying to my face? Ugh. It’s so fucking annoying. (Okay, that’s 2 curses in one sentence? I’m so bad)

With attention seeking, I am always lost and confused. Some people do desperate things just to get the attention they want. I mean it’s the 21st century, people are so busy having troubles of their own so who needs a god damn attention seeker? If people care about you, you don’t need to actually beg for attention. You probably have a hang-up in the past that you have not gotten over with which is why you are seeking for attention so much. The truth is most of the time, no one fucking cares when it comes to your petty and tinee tiny woes. Why not be mature enough?

Lastly, social climbing. This is deceitful and wrong in all levels. If you want to be something work hard to be that sort of person you’re dreaming instead of creating the illusion that you’ve become this and that already when in reality you’re still that same pathetic person.

Though there are exceptions, you know for a fact when a person is just a pathological liar, attention seeker or social climber.

It’s so annoying. Really. And I’m sorry if this is a rant-ish kind of post but this is just me being real. My mind is popping and fuzzing with these ideas and I didn’t even want to write about it but thought it’s actually better than all the rainbows and butterflies.

We May Not Have What We Want, But We Have Everything We Need

Happy happy Monday!

Today is the day that the Lord has made to make me realize things, to be grateful of what I have and to look at my blessings as treasures from God above! Woo!

Okay, let’s not make this sound like I’m preaching about a gospel or something (not that there’s anything wrong with it but)

Last night, I was talking to Kyx about small stuff, when I say small stuff I meant we were talking about plans, material things we plan on buying and places we ought to visit. I figured we are surrounded by people we love who already experienced a lot of things that we haven’t, bought the things we haven’t even started saving up for, went to places we have not visited and I got a little sad. It’s nothing major and not sad like sulking-bratty-I-want-it-now kind of sad, just a little sad. But then something came to my mind and uplifted me. I realized that I have a lot of things I should be thankful for than focusing on my little sadness. Plus, material things are very easy to buy.

  1. I realized how lucky I am have to have my mom. No one in this entire world can replace my mom and I love her so much. She is my first ever best friend and she stuck with me through thick and thin and I guess that’s really something I should be thankful for! Everyone has a unique mom, everyone is grateful for their moms and everyone seems to have a perfect mom of their own. I am just glad that my mom is my mom and I wouldn’t trade her for anything in this world. No amount of money, no places to visit and no gadget can ever top my mom’s existence.
  2. I have amazing set of friends. Not perfect individuals but perfect for me. My friends and I may not have all the time in the world to be together not to mention the busy schedules we are all in. However, I am very very grateful to these people because then I realized not everyone is blessed with amazing, caring, loving, thoughtful and understanding people in this world. Most especially my friends ever since I was little! I can’t imagine life without them omg.
  3. My life partner (whenever I say “life partner” I cringe a little idk why, but he’s more than just a “boyfriend” anyway) Kyx is the most awesome guy in the world, I feel like he was created perfectly for me. I mean he is not perfect okay and we fight sometimes (oh you have no idea) but he’s the one who even led me to this whole positive and happy heart thing that I cannot even thank him enough! He understands me, tolerates me but makes sure I am not cruella de ville to anybody. He’s great at being who he is and we may be opposites but no other guy in my lifetime (I am talking about my life + guy timeline if ya know what I mean) can top how much he means to me.

All of that are just bits and pieces of what I am grateful for because I am indeed very much grateful about everything that I have. Even the bad times and cruel people I encounter, even the people who are fake with me, even the ones who do not like me. I am thankful because I wouldn’t be able to appreciate what I have if it wasn’t for those things (and people) right?

In a nutshell, there are a lot of things we want, we are so focused on getting what we want that we forget to appreciate what we have. Sometimes, what we have is what we truly need and we just don’t know or understand it at that time. It may be a cliché to hear about the want vs need mantra but that is reality. We may not always have what we want but we sure do have everything that we need. So be grateful and appreciate everything that comes your way because everything we have, good and bad, are all blessings!

The Twisted Lies

There are really some people who would create their own version of a story just to make them feel better. It’s sad, annoying, irritating and crazy but I am trying to understand these kinds of people.

This is really something personal and I don’t want to write about this for a long time now but I just can’t contain myself anymore. I will not mention names though but know that this is from my own personal experience.

When I was in college, I met a nice guy and we’ve been together for 5 years. It was all amazing. It’s crazy but a fun-filled relationship until things turned sour. I wasn’t sure of the future, he was stuck up between his passion and never thinking about his studying opportunities. I was working already and he was still trying to look for things he want to do. That started our gap, I felt like I didn’t want to be in that kind of relationship. I cannot afford to be in that page wherein I am trying to pursue life and he is stuck somewhere never trying to get to his feet. Until the time came for us to part ways. I realized I was spending so much time and not to mention, money on him all the time. Whenever we go out, I would be the one to pay for basically EVERYTHING. I did it because he had nothing and I’d like for him to be able to experience such but imagine doing it for half a decade, you’ll get drained and tired. It was not ideal. Not because I want him to be the one to shell out money, but because I feel like he was not taking responsibility of anything.

When we broke up, I got sad but I was happy. I was finally going to pursue my life and he went back to school knowing that’s what’s good for him. I am happy for him despite everything. I think I was the one who was able to move on quickly. Partly because I don’t have a lot of time on my hands to dwell over a lot of things. I was sooooo busy with work, I was always tired and didn’t have time for drama. I was also the first one to cope with the break up, broke away from sad things and found love (with my now, almost 2 years life partner aka Kyx) so I think even though he was happy with his life, he didn’t take it very well.

I have heard from people how he talked about me, how he said a lot of awful things. I tried to understand him because some people feel better when they talk ill of other people. So I let it flew by. Also I wasn’t affected because I know the truth behind everything and I was in fact genuinely happy with my life no matter how crazy it could get so yes, I just let him do what he wanted. Let him talk ill of me I didn’t care.

He blocked me over Facebook and it’s fine by me, in fact we don’t need to be “friends” anyway. So I asked my cousin to please get all my stuff from him plus all the books. He gave bag a few stuff and no books were given back. I was so annoyed because I really wanted all my books. I need them and they are my only investments. So I told my cousin to ask him if he can give me back my books. He told my cousin that he doesn’t have my books anymore and maybe it was with other guys. TAKE NOTE “with other guys”. How the hell can he say that about me? I have stuck with him for a very long time even if he kept cheating on me! How dare he say these stuff!? This time I was so infuriated already. I kept yapping about my books and I even told Kyx about it. Kyx told me he can just buy me a new book and just let it fly.

I realized he can keep all the books I have left with him if he didn’t want to return it then he can just keep it. He even told my cousin that I should just keep quiet and stop nagging him. It was just funny. Funny how he twist his own stories. Funny how he tries to make himself believe that I am running after him, that I want him.

Sometimes, that’s their coping strategy. Sometimes they feel better about themselves when they get to have the sort of ending they were hoping for. I mean it didn’t really happen but just saying it or faking the story they get some satisfaction from it. WHICH I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND.

How does something so twisted, so untrue can make you feel better? People like this should re-evaluate their lives and try to have a different coping strategy. Because twisting something can affect other people’s lives. How can you find happiness at the expense of trampling over other people who wants nothing but happiness and peace? I guess I am just really busy to even feel angry about what’s happening. I guess I have to give it to knowing myself and being truthful. As long as I know it’s a lie, as long as God knows the truth, I shall never let it get to me. Plus stress hormones can make me fat so I guess I shall just let this pass.

I pray though that he finds peace within himself because getting old with a grudge and a twisted sense of the truth will never make you happy.