There are really some people who would create their own version of a story just to make them feel better. It’s sad, annoying, irritating and crazy but I am trying to understand these kinds of people.
This is really something personal and I don’t want to write about this for a long time now but I just can’t contain myself anymore. I will not mention names though but know that this is from my own personal experience.
When I was in college, I met a nice guy and we’ve been together for 5 years. It was all amazing. It’s crazy but a fun-filled relationship until things turned sour. I wasn’t sure of the future, he was stuck up between his passion and never thinking about his studying opportunities. I was working already and he was still trying to look for things he want to do. That started our gap, I felt like I didn’t want to be in that kind of relationship. I cannot afford to be in that page wherein I am trying to pursue life and he is stuck somewhere never trying to get to his feet. Until the time came for us to part ways. I realized I was spending so much time and not to mention, money on him all the time. Whenever we go out, I would be the one to pay for basically EVERYTHING. I did it because he had nothing and I’d like for him to be able to experience such but imagine doing it for half a decade, you’ll get drained and tired. It was not ideal. Not because I want him to be the one to shell out money, but because I feel like he was not taking responsibility of anything.
When we broke up, I got sad but I was happy. I was finally going to pursue my life and he went back to school knowing that’s what’s good for him. I am happy for him despite everything. I think I was the one who was able to move on quickly. Partly because I don’t have a lot of time on my hands to dwell over a lot of things. I was sooooo busy with work, I was always tired and didn’t have time for drama. I was also the first one to cope with the break up, broke away from sad things and found love (with my now, almost 2 years life partner aka Kyx) so I think even though he was happy with his life, he didn’t take it very well.
I have heard from people how he talked about me, how he said a lot of awful things. I tried to understand him because some people feel better when they talk ill of other people. So I let it flew by. Also I wasn’t affected because I know the truth behind everything and I was in fact genuinely happy with my life no matter how crazy it could get so yes, I just let him do what he wanted. Let him talk ill of me I didn’t care.
He blocked me over Facebook and it’s fine by me, in fact we don’t need to be “friends” anyway. So I asked my cousin to please get all my stuff from him plus all the books. He gave bag a few stuff and no books were given back. I was so annoyed because I really wanted all my books. I need them and they are my only investments. So I told my cousin to ask him if he can give me back my books. He told my cousin that he doesn’t have my books anymore and maybe it was with other guys. TAKE NOTE “with other guys”. How the hell can he say that about me? I have stuck with him for a very long time even if he kept cheating on me! How dare he say these stuff!? This time I was so infuriated already. I kept yapping about my books and I even told Kyx about it. Kyx told me he can just buy me a new book and just let it fly.
I realized he can keep all the books I have left with him if he didn’t want to return it then he can just keep it. He even told my cousin that I should just keep quiet and stop nagging him. It was just funny. Funny how he twist his own stories. Funny how he tries to make himself believe that I am running after him, that I want him.
Sometimes, that’s their coping strategy. Sometimes they feel better about themselves when they get to have the sort of ending they were hoping for. I mean it didn’t really happen but just saying it or faking the story they get some satisfaction from it. WHICH I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND.
How does something so twisted, so untrue can make you feel better? People like this should re-evaluate their lives and try to have a different coping strategy. Because twisting something can affect other people’s lives. How can you find happiness at the expense of trampling over other people who wants nothing but happiness and peace? I guess I am just really busy to even feel angry about what’s happening. I guess I have to give it to knowing myself and being truthful. As long as I know it’s a lie, as long as God knows the truth, I shall never let it get to me. Plus stress hormones can make me fat so I guess I shall just let this pass.
I pray though that he finds peace within himself because getting old with a grudge and a twisted sense of the truth will never make you happy.