I didn’t even know that it was already a drinking problem of some sort until people started telling me that I looked dry, drunk and alcoholic. I can’t say I’m alcoholic *siguro patawid palang but fortunately, hindi naman* and thinking about it, I figured maybe I was just an extremely heavy drinker cause I grew up with 3 brothers who are really heavy drinkers (not in a bad way hehehe I’m trying to justify pa lol) but you see, we’re not alcoholics. We just love our booze.
Alcoholism is not to be taken lightly. It’s a serious substance abuse that could lead to health problems and I’m fully aware of that. I’m not downplaying or portraying anything that I am not.
So back in the day, during my college years, my glorious years, I drank so much. I don’t do it on a daily basis at first and of course, I’m not one to drink around groups. I love drinking with just my friends. College stuff, workload and a lot of other requirements led me to feel so stressed out and I resorted to drinking every weekend. It has been a weekend hobby for me. I’d invite friends over my house and we’d drink at our garage. Chill drink lang, walang walwalan. But if my friends are not available, I’d just drink by myself. Ganong levels. I didn’t see anything wrong with what I was doing though.
I was still responsible. I study, I am good in class, I’m an okay person in general. But I drink weekly.
Until such time that I really feel like I needed to drink, any time of day. It’s as if I was always looking for an excuse to drink. It was as if my body is looking for alcohol and I needed to give in to it because if not, I won’t be able to sleep well.
I have my flask with me—EVERYWHERE I GO. With a small amount of booze, I’m at peace that I could carry on with the day and get by.
I am not a party girl but I look up booze mixes on pinterest just for the heck of it. I loved every mix I ever did with jell-o and gummie bears. I was crazy.
But one fine day, I just stopped altogether. I didn’t want booze, I didn’t crave for it the way I used to. I just didn’t feel like drinking that much anymore.
Now, I still drink (not as much) and I still have my flask 🙂
So I think that this isn’t alcoholism. It was just a phase I guess?
Did you have a phase like this?
If you have drinking problems, if you feel like you’re getting addicted to it, maybe it’s time to consult a doctor or a therapist. Especially if it is a result of a problem, depression or if it has anything to do with your emotional and mental health.
My problem was that it was purely out of sheer joy but it was not because I was depressed or what (I have depression but I didn’t drink because of it)