Same Story, Different Perspective PART 1

I wrote a really long blog entry last night but I couldn’t find it anywhere in my laptop and I wanted to cry but whatever. Leche.

Intentions

It feels a lot easier to tell the story now that I have finally moved on. It’s like I am telling the story from a different perspective!

One of the favourite things I have learned and focused on from the emotional mess I have endured in the past were “intentions”.


It was the day after my 26th birthday. I was in a really happy mood especially that my best friend Gee and I agreed to have dinner at Eastwood after months of not seeing each other. I arrived at Mcdonald’s—our meeting place around 20 minutes earlier. While I wait for Gee, I ordered fries and Coke.

While waiting, an earthquake happened. I thought I was just dizzy but I saw how the tables and chairs swayed, people looked at each other with a bit of panic in their eyes. I stared down at my Coke and saw that though it wasn’t splashing, the black liquid is definitely moving. I held on to it knowing full well that it might spill if the earthquake decides to be more extra. After a good minute or 2, I messaged my friends. I was worried that something might have happened, I want to make sure they were fine. They said that they felt it too and that they’re okay.

Gee arrived and we headed to Bigoli’s. It used to be Fazoli’s, our ultimate fave back then. After eating, Gee had to run quick at the Globe center , something to do with her postpaid line I guess. So while waiting, I checked my phone. There was a message from K in the Group chat. She sent photos of wrecked buildings caused by the earthquake and then said “sana may nabagsakan nalang niyan eh” (translation: “I wish someone got hit by those”—pertaining to the building wreck) I knew instantly something was wrong. Then she suddenly sent a new message containing screenshots of old conversations as proof of my snide comments. My comments were not bad but it was bad enough to be exposed like that. I was trying to pacify the situation, admitting to what I said and apologizing if someone have found it offensive when being offensive wasn’t my intention. Maybe it was blunt and insensitive but what I said was true and it wasn’t meant to be mean! But somehow, my words were twisted and I was frustrated to further explain myself especially when no one was listening. By the time that everyone was just going crazy, I said my piece again that they were taking what I said the wrong way and still no one cares, I left the group chat.

I was hyperventilating. My world was spinning and I can’t even continue eating my chicken which of course had gone cold already. I can’t even drink. I was in shock!

I waited for Gee and told her what had happened, after dinner I went home and cried my eyes out to my mom. I told her everything that happened and I was ugly crying and I think I messaged Kyx too so he drove to my mom’s house and comforted me as well. They were also in shock that something like that had to happen, it was really petty! I was crying so much that my mom wanted to intervene. She wanted to call someone, the barangay, the cops, whatever. But I told her I need to do this on my own.

My mom’s eyes were super wide and she has this look of hurt in her face. She looked strong and at the same time helpless. She lit her Marlboro lights and puffed it while telling me how I should speak up for myself and don’t let these people talk to me in a very degrading way. (did I mention I was called a bitch, two faced friend et cetera haha)

I think I calmed down eventually but still in shock and I wasn’t able to sleep well that night. I was crying sooooo hard every minute it flashes back in my mind.

I never got to talk to these people after I left the group chat. At least not immediately.

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How To “Adult”

A guide on what you would learn, lose, gain and achieve when you are a proper adult. By “proper adult” I mean when you reach your 20’s and you’re working.  The moment you are balancing career and getting your shit together.

Well yes, the cliché older people told us when we were younger “the real world is so much harder than you think” is after all, true. I wish I prepared myself for this. I mean I know how much shit everyone would go through but I didn’t know there are a lot to deal with when you finally step into adulthood. Here, I will write my true and personal experiences. You may be able to relate to some of the things, you may also have different experiences so let me know about your struggles and we’ll laugh at ourselves. Lol

When I was in high school, our teachers told us that high school is the most fun phase we could ever have. They said college is totally different but no one believed it until we were all struggling in college.

College was like high school but ten times more serious than EVER. The professors wouldn’t care whether you’re sick or not, they wouldn’t care what you do with your life just as long as you get your shit together in class. During my time in college, our professors would often tell us that the real world is a WHOLE DIFFERENT place compared to where we were at the moment. We have to be prepared and that we always have to be on our A-Game!  I guess we sorta listened and hoped for the better but after college, no one was ever prepared to take on with life in a different angle.

  1. No one told us that after college, looking for a job you actually want is close to impossible. At first, you get to get a job you WANT but not for long. Cause the basic human needs, need to be addressed. You just can’t go hop along and do whatever the heck you want if it means your pay check is lower than your everyday allowance back in college. So after a fun working experience, you venture to a job that pays you higher than you thought but really kills your spirits. In short, no one ever said that you don’t get whatever the heck you want working wise.

I have worked a total of 4 jobs and I handle an independent clothing shop that Kyx and I own. (it’s a 2 man business which means we handle everything on our own without other people’s help) My first job was a technical support representative for cable company in the US. It was soooo hard because I was young and I didn’t even want to be working there in the first place. I get a decent amount of pay check but I didn’t like what I did. My 2nd job was for a Canadian mobile company. I LOVED IT THERE SO MUCH. I gained a lot of friends, I was on top of my game, I really enjoyed it I loved everything. Benefits and pay check whatsoever. But the thing is, I wasn’t going to let myself get too comfortable with that. I wanted something where I can use my skills in writing, where I can be passionate. It was hard to leave my friends there, my boss and my work. I really loved it there and I cried so many tears because I love my job so much. I had to let go of that and choose something where I can use what I studied in college. While I was waiting for a job, I worked as an English tutor for Chinese people. It was easy, the pay is decent, no benefits. I knew I cannot stay there for long because like I said, I left my amazing job because I wanted to pursue my passion.  Then I am here, a copywriter. Oh yes, I love to write, I love what I do but… *sigh*

2. No one said you’d lose friends. It is true that as you grow older, you get to weed out and weigh who stays and who goes. You are of your right mind now and that means deciding when to let go, when to give it another try and when the friendship is over. You’re matured enough that you know what you need and sometimes, these “friends” are not included in that. It could be heart breaking but this is the part of your life wherein you realize that people really do come and go.

3. No one said your responsibilities are endless now. You are responsible for yourself now whether you like it or not. You are responsible for everything now and you cannot just depend on other people because now, you EXIST. You’re not co-dependent anymore and you have to work your ass off because nobody is responsible for you anymore.

This is just the first part of my HOW TO ADULT guide. It is really an exhausting life but you will get used to it.