Hintay Hintay Lang

Kailan mo ba talaga makikilala yung taong para sayo? Nakilala mo na ba siya o makikilala pa lang?

Kailan ba yung tamang panahon na sinasabi nila? May sagot ba don o lahat ay katanungan nalang?

Sabi nila minsan nasa harap mo na hindi mo pa makita, minsan naman akala mo dumaan na pero hindi pala siya o kaya naman patuloy kang umaasa na balang araw, makikita mo siya, makikilala at makakasama.

Di bale, kung hindi pa man nagkukrus ang landas ninyo ngayon, malay mo malapit na. Isipin mo nalang, baka hindi pa ngayon ang tamang panahon, ang pagkakataon kung kailan makikilala mo siya dahil baka pinaplano pa ng Diyos na makilala mo siya kung kailan maayos na ang lahat. Yung bang hindi ka na nasasaktan sa iyong nakaraan, yung siya naman ay handa nang harapin ang kinabukasan.

Diba? Malay mo. Hintay hintay lang.

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Tanong

Minsan maiisip mo baka oo, baka hindi. Madalas hindi mo na alam kung anong sagot. Madalas tinatanong mo ang sarili mo pero magkaiba ang sagot ng puso at isipan mo. Dalawang magkaibang sagot, parehong naiintindihan mo pero hindi mo alam kung alin sa dalawa ang papakinggan mo.

Madalas hinahanap mo ang mga sagot sa tanong, pero hindi mo alam kung saan sila makikita. Hindi mo alam kung andiyan lang ba sa tabi tabi o kung nasa puso mo na mismo ayaw mo lang halungkatin, ayaw mo lang harapin?Hanap ka ng hanap kahit di mo naman alam saan titingin.

Pero lahat ng tanong nasasagot sa tamang panahon. Lahat ng tanong may kasagutan hindi lang natin agad maintindihan.

Dumating na ako sa punto na ako na mismo sumagot sa tanong ko, kahit di ko alam kung tama o mali, sinagot ko at pinanindigan ko ang napili kong kasagutan. Nung alam ko na at napaniwala ko na ang sarili ko sa mga kasagutan na ginawa gawa ko lang, biglang dumating ang tamang panahon at siya na mismo ang sumagot sa mga matagal ko nang hinahanapan ng kahulugan at kasagutan.

Baka ganyan din. Dadating din ang tamang pagkakataon, dadating din ang panahon na masasagot ang lahat ng tanong.

Dreams

 

To be honest, I still dream about you and how cruel everything turned out to be. You made me look so bad and you overlooked the goodness I did. You made it seem like in the course of our friendship, I never was a good friend when in fact I did everything I can to be a good friend to you and the others. And that tears me so much more than it should. But still, I smile because I know I am going to be okay. That this isn’t the end of the world. That this is something I should be very grateful about.

Heart Wrenching, Face Smiling, Soul Fed

Ever heard of a song that has the ability to wrench your heart, make you smile and feed your soul at the same time? I forgot if I ever felt this way over songs in the past but right now, I am having this roller coaster bit of emotions while I listen to Autotelic. You see, Autotelic is a local band from the Philippines. I think they’re just rising to fame, I feel like they will eventually boom into the music world and become mainstream but right now, I’m enjoying them while they’re popular to the passionate ones and not the mainstream crowd (just yet)

I have been listening to Laro and Languyin over and over this morning (until now).

I don’t know but it makes me feel alive, it makes my heart break into a million pieces but enough to make me smile. It makes my soul full of amazing mementos, pieces and bits of all sorts of emotions given to me by different people, situation, places and moments. It awakens the sleeping passion once flaring and blaring with fiery love for everything. It makes everything colourful and dark at the same time. It washes the gray skies but ends up raining. It’s all so contradictory but the feelings are legit GENUINE. I love how it makes me feel everything. It’s crazy!

Do you know songs like this? Or story, poetry, piece of art etc. If yes, please let me know.

Day 07: Very Loud

Every gesture, may it be sweet but small, genuine yet silent can speak volumes. The intensity it gives, the impact of how a simple gesture can mean so much. The sincerity of every action needs no words, no explanation. Nothing at all. It speaks so loud, very loud. Thumping in my heart, drumming my chest, makes my lips tremble. That’s how a simplicity of a genuine action can affect the emotions and spirit of a person. Not every meaningful emotion can be said by the lips, not everything shall be heard by the ears because if you listen to what your heart could hear, it’s thumping and jumping for joy, crying tears of happiness, because the amount of how amazing true feelings are– speaks so loud. Very loud.

For Once, Just Once

For once I want to be someone who is selfish and not think of you all the time.

For once I want my decisions to be my own and not decisions I made because I took you in consideration.

For once I want to feel how it is to be free from myself and not associate it with you.

For once I want to do whatever the heck I want without thinking if this will hurt you or not.

For once I want to be someone who is alone with no one else to think about.

For once I want to jump right in. Dive head first to things without thinking of anybody.

For once I want to just build my own wall without having to break it all over again to pieces just to let someone like you in.

For once, just once, I want to be nobody’s. I want to be nobody’s, not even my own.

For once, this once I want to free my soul from everything, anything.

For once, just once. Just this one time, I want to break away, move on and walk out from everything, everyone.

For once, just once.