In a lot of my rocky roads and tumble turns I have went through in my short 26 years of existence, I have learned a couple of things that may be helpful to some. This is also like a “note to self” thing so when I lose track of myself and the essence of everything, I can look back and see this.
15 Things that I have learned, been taught and realized–that may actually help others too!
- Your perception of what is right does not mean it is the only thing that’s right.
- There are a few hundred more angles to look at things and you may find yourself in a situation wherein you know you are right but it’s not the only “right” thing in that situation.
- You cannot impose your beliefs and others cannot impose theirs on you.
- You may have beliefs and principles you abide by but this doesn’t mean you can impose it on other people. The world is a vast and cruel place and people have different perceptions and beliefs on certain things. You can’t force each other to do what you do for your beliefs and the best you can do is educate yourself as to why some don’t support what you support and why some support what you don’t. (however, this is a tricky topic especially when it comes to social and political issues kaya wag na tayo mag-dwell masyado dito. Chos)
- Communication is the key.
- If you want to resolve things with a co-worker, friends and family it is best to communicate with them rather than letting things go only to have them piled up. I have learned this in a hard way and part of what I changed was saying what I think and feel rather than keeping quiet only to bottle my feelings all up until I explode. It’s always a matter of how you say things and not what you actually said (given that your words are professional, civil and objective)
- Your feelings are not the only ones that matter.
- There will be times that you would think your feelings matter the most and are important but needless to say, others’ feelings are equally important as yours.
- You don’t need to be cruel to make a point.
- Need I say more? There’s always a work around in most circumstances.
- Doing mean things just because you feel like the other person “deserves” it anyway.
- That’s what they did to me and I know how wrong it was. It almost killed me when they did so before you start doing something mean to other people, think about how you can almost kill a soul.
- You will regret not apologizing.
- At some point, God or the universe will make you realize the wrong things you have done and you will regret for not apologizing. Maybe at some point you will think that you don’t need to apologize because “you have done nothing wrong” but in the long run, you’ll see and you’ll know.
- You will regret not forgiving those who have hurt you.
- Forgiveness is a freedom and a gift you give yourself more than what you can give to those who have hurt you. If you don’t and can’t forgive, you are only trapping yourself inside a jar that refuses your growth and hinders the love you can give to yourself and other people.
- Always say “Please” and “Thank You”.
- These things are appreciated and doesn’t even take a dollar to do so.
- Be there for your Family.
- They are the ones who will be there for you FOREVER. People come and go but family won’t even if they want to kill you (metaphorically) No matter what happens “hindi mo yan kayang itapon at hindi ka kayang itapon niyan.” Be there and LOVE them wholeheartedly.
- Choose your friends.
- Not everyone you meet will stick by your side through thick and thin. This is true and I have learned it the hard way guys. Kahit gaano pa kayo katagal mag-bestfriend niyan, you’ll never know kaya choose them wisely.
- Say what you mean and mean what you say.
- It’s not that hard when you think about it. Masyado lang natin iniisip yung sasabihin kasi ng iba kaya laging nasusugarcoat or hindi na nasasabi at all.
- Bad days and Good days are not gonna stay that way for a long time.
- So you better learn to cherish every moment whether it is good or bad.
- Appreciate what you have.
- Count your OWN blessings, hindi yung naka-focus ka sa blessing ng iba.
15. It’s okay to be alone sometimes.
- Alone time teaches you a lot of things.
16.Tell the people you love how much you love and appreciate them.
- ‘Cause you’ll never when they’ll be gone.
Why do I even want to attempt an anonymous blog when I want to post photos here? Hayy self.
Anyway, I’m sharing with you photos from last Saturday. It was a fun night, a night that we would surely remember. It was not super fancy or eventful but the simplicity of it made an impact that I will remember forever.
Aside from the fun we all have, I realized a lot of things and friendship plays a big part in this.
Remember about 4 months ago, I struggled and the main issue is with my own friends for 15 years? Now, I feel like I am really recovering from the loss and the unnecessary pain I felt.
Last Saturday, I realized how blessed I am to have friends that will support and love both me and Kyx. We have 6 friends whom I invited to join us for Ramen and surprise Kyx—and they were there. They took some of their time from their busy schedules just so they can make one person happy (two at that because it made me very happy that they wanted to make Kyx happy!)
Then at Angge’s art show, we—her friends were there. We supported her because we love seeing our friends succeed in their career. I love how I saw Angge contented and happy that night. I know very little of her struggles just so this art show would come out as a success but I know that she went through a hella ton of shit and seeing her smile and goof around like she always does (no matter how crazy life is unfolding in front of her eyes) made me really proud.
I’ve only known Angge for a good 3 years but I have learned that the amount of time does not affect how a friendship would go. Angge is originally Kyx’s friend and I just became her friend because Kyx and I got together hahahaha.
Pero gets? That night, I was happy. I was showered with friends, seeing them smile and seeing them happy made me happy. I still have good friends despite the fact that I’ve lost so many along the way. It doesn’t really matter now because what matters is what I have than what I lost.
Today, I found myself reflecting as to why I get so stressed out easily. I was thinking why am I always worried about a lot of things—even the things that haven’t even happened yet! I always create little scenarios in my head, most of them the worst case scenarios. More often than not, these scenarios don’t even happen at all. I just stress myself out because of NOTHING.
Why do I do this to myself? Why am I like this? Then I realized that maybe, I am always either living in the past or living for the future. I never live for the present, the today, the NOW. I always always race for tomorrow and that’s not entirely a good thing because you know what, I am wasting so much of my time thinking about what would happen or what happened in the past instead of what’s already happening in the present.
How many times did I allow myself to be stuck somewhere in the past? How many times did I waste my days thinking of the future that I forget how important the present is?
I always wanted to be one step ahead of myself. I always wanted to know if things will work out, how things will turn out that I miss the opportunity to cherish the blessings I have received. I worry about the things I have no control over and things I can’t change. I struggle so much in life because instead of working for today, I work for tomorrow.
I got about a dozen signs today that I should stop this madness and live NOW. Because NOW is the only time I have, NOW is the only important moment to live in, to enjoy and appreciate. The past is gone and the future hasn’t come. Why worry when you’ve got today to live for and think about?
Let’s all try to live for today. Don’t let your past and future control your present. Enjoy and carpe that diem!
I thought about it and I realized that being a better person is not so much of a burden as I make it to be on most days.
I get a lot of things gathered inside my head until I suffer from too much emotional torture. I keep trying to be better but it’s a bit harder than I expected—until I realized that it shouldn’t be as hard as I’d like it!
How? It’s easy. Stop living your life the way others treat you. The way they talk to you, value you has nothing to do with how you should be. Changing your ways is nice, if it’s changing for the better. But if you find yourself changing just because that’s how you should reciprocate others’ actions, then that’s not good. Plus it makes your life hard!
What am I trying to say? It’s simple.
- If other people turn a cold shoulder, you feel like ‘oh yeah? Fine. Then I shall give you the cold treatment too!’ even if you don’t want to, even if that’s not how you are as a person. If someone is cold to you, it doesn’t mean you have to be cold to them (unless you like it like that but in my case) I can never be like that especially for people I truly care about. I mean I can let someone be, if you don’t want to talk to me then I can give you space. But if you come back to your senses and decided to talk to me, then I will talk to you as well. I won’t take the vengeful route of giving you the taste of your own medicine. I can’t be like that. I tried but I’m too soft hahahahaha.
- If people are mean to you, doesn’t mean you need to be mean to them too. Like number 1, giving other people the taste of their own medicine doesn’t always work out especially if you’re too kind. You’d end up feeling worse than you already felt so might as well just let them be. But still, be firm. I’m not saying you should let other people trample all over you. Just don’t be like them.
- Continue trying to be better even if they criticize you and accuse you of being “fake”. I have my fair share of being accused as “playing the victim”, paawa, pabebe, faking it etc etc but this is how I really am eh! I can’t be too cruel. I have said mean things about other people but I realize my mistakes as soon as I made them! If I say sorry, I mean it. If I say I miss a person, I mean it. You can’t fake emotions, can you?
So I guess I’m past the stage where I wanted them to feel what I felt. I have learned a lot through all of my life experiences but that didn’t make me cruel. All cruel and life changing experiences I went through made me tough but that doesn’t mean I’d have a bitch comeback. I’m glad I took this route and it made me love myself more. I love myself more now than I ever did when I had a lot of friends. Now I realized that as long as I love myself better, I should be okay.
In my healing process, I have found that I only think of the “If I could go back, I’ll fix it so that everything will be okay again” kind of stuff when my mind is clouded and eyes blinded with tears. Realizing now, that for me, is a band-aid solution. Aside from the fact that it is not actually possible, it’s also no good to wish that things could go back to the way it were after a specific circumstance.
There are exemptions to this however. A loss of a loved one such as death and all that but when it comes to life changing things such as a break up, friendship break up, career problems, boss problems, money problems and all that, you get to experience this not as punishment but as growth. So there’s literally no point in regretting shit when it’s for the sole purpose of your own good.
Remember, if you haven’t gone through the crap you have to deal with back then, you wouldn’t be as strong and successful as you are now as a person.
Get over it, look at it as lessons and make a rainbow of your own after the storm.
If you haven’t noticed by now, storms in your life are temporary. During the storm, you feel like the world is crumbling down and that everything is hopeless. But at the back of your mind, you know that storms are temporary and that even after all the tragedy, it’s going to be over soon enough.
Just like in real life. Pain, problems and heartaches—everything that hurts will not hurt you forever. Everything that gives you pain is not going to be there every single day of your life. You will get through it no matter what happens, no matter how long it takes, no matter how hard it could be for you. You will get over it soon enough and you just have to go along with the process.
After everything, I got lost into my own little world. The world I created trying to shelter myself from too much pain. I created something sturdy for myself, something that will shield me from heartbreak.
I created a new Facebook account and blocked anyone that I don’t want to be part of my new life. I kept mostly to myself in the social media world, just like others, I posted only what’s on the surface. I stopped looking at my instagram feed, afraid that familiar faces might pop and I’ll only get triggered and cry. Allow me to do that for myself because that is how I think would work for me while dealing with the grief and burden.
I resorted to my blog. Wrote my feelings out, interacted a lot only to the people in and around the wordpress world. I stayed out of the zone in real life and only met up with the people that’s really dear to my heart.
I lost track of those who have hurt me and sometimes, I wonder how everything turned out for them but I realized that it’s good to not keep tabs on these people in order for me to fully recover and move on from all these.
Someone asked me if I get bothered by what they say about me. Maybe if I was asked a month or 2 ago, I’d tell you that I’ll be affected. But now, I don’t bother anymore. I also believe that people involved in that drama are over it and wouldn’t talk about me. I believe after all these, they are okay and happy. After all, I was the one left behind right?
So now, I’ll tell you. If you get too bothered about what others think and say, remember that we can only control ourselves. What we think and what we do. We can’t control others just as they can’t control us, so let them be. Let them judge you, say stuff about you, because as far as you know, what they say and do is none of your business just as what you say and do are none of theirs. Because at the end of the day, what they say and do speaks and shows more about them than you. So chill out, get over it, walk past the drama and move on. Though hard at first, you can (fucking) do it!