My Year for The Lord

When I was looking at how my 2017 went, it was my 26th year on earth and it has many many tragic memories but I believe that with God’s grace, I am here and surviving all the pain and heartache I experienced that it got me to thinking that (yes I know, I feel so unworthy too but) I want to go back to serving the Lord and go to church regularly. I am praying that this year will be my year for the Lord and hopefully, I overcome this feeling of unworthiness of His love.

My heart says “just go!” but in time, I’d probably listen to it after I battle the feeling I’m feeling right now.

Kyx and I as we like to label ourselves—are firm believers of the Lord. However, we do nothing in church, we don’t even go to church regularly (we don’t go to church) simply because we have encountered so many church drama and problems that nawala ang amor namin. Although I shouldn’t blame whatever happened to the church or the people we are with but hindi maiwasan that feeling eh.

This year, I want to be close to God again. I mean I won’t go overboard na parang preacher na lagi (although there’s nothing wrong with that. Hindi lang siguro bagay kasi ang dami kong kasalanan ahaha) pero namimiss na siguro ako ng Diyos. Maybe he’s saying that huwag naman daw ako puro dasal lang. So when I’m brave enough, hopefully very soon, I’ll go and face the Lord again. One of these days talaga.

Pagdasal niyo naman ako oh. Pray for me. Thank you!

For now, after work, I’ll go out and meet several Filipino bloggers whom I met in wordpress. I AM ECSTATIC!

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Tanggapin Mo Yung Pagkatalo Mo

In life, we don’t live to keep winning. We live, to keep learning.

We don’t always need to bag those awards, we don’t always need to compete with others, we don’t always need to get that promotion and raise right then and there, we don’t always need to be praised for working so hard etcetera, etcetera.

There are a lot of things we fight for thinking we always need to be number one but the reality is that being the best among everyone else is not the most important thing in the world!

If we change the perspective of needing to win so much in everything, we are avoiding and preventing conflicts, arguments and indifference from happening.


Sa totoo lang, etong hanash ko is because I feel bad for our team. We won in the annual Christmas presentation and no one even cheered or clapped their hands believing that we would win. Our officemates acted, though they didn’t say anything, that another team should have won. Hindi ako natutuwa sa ganiyang pag-uugali. Hindi ko sinasabi ito kasi kami yung nasa other side of the coin, na kami yung winning end. Kasi given the fact that we lost to other teams, we would have cheered for them. Pinapalakpakan namin yung mga tao kahit hindi kami nagbebenefit, tipong sport lang, ganon. Hindi ko alam saan ba nanggagaling yung mga “Mas deserving sina ganito” what makes other people less deserving anyway? Bakit kailangan may “mas” eh pinaghirapan din naman namin iyon? Nagkataon lang na nanalo kami mas deserving na yung ibang tao agad? Hindi pa ako nakapag-observe kung papaano ang ibang kultura, ang ibang tao sa ibang bansa kaya itong observation ko is sa mga Filipino lang pero bakit ba hirap na hirap tayong tumanggap ng pagkatalo? Bakit ba kailangang laging panalo tayo sa mga bagay bagay. Oo competitive tayo and sa mga contest na mga simpleng ganyan, ang goal talaga is manalo. Kaya nga contest eh. So goal is manalo pero kapag natalo ka na bakit ka magagalit? Eh sa contest naman alam mo naman na may nananalo at may natatalo diba? Kung gusto mo pala na panalo ka bakit ka pa sumali sa contest? Sana gumawa ka nalang ng announcement na ikaw na talaga yung panalo kasi galing na galing ka sa sarili mo diba at hindi ka n asana nakipaglaban sa ibang contestants kasi sure na sure ka naman na. Ano pang ginagawa mo diba?? Diba??

Sa susunod na sasali ka sa competition, dapat isipin mo na yung may mananalo, may matatalo. Gawin mo nalang yung best mo, kung ginawa mo naman best mo at natalo ka pa rin hindi mo naman nay un kasalanan at lalong lalo na hindi kasalanan yun ng ibang tao.

Kung hindi mo matanggap na natalo ka, magreklamo ka sa judge. Pesteng mga yan.

Okay. Tapos na ako mag-rant. Gusto ko lang ilabas yung sama ng loob ko kasi nung Friday ko pa ito kinikimkim. HA HA HAHAH HAHAHAHAHA.

Top 10 Things I’ve Learned from My Mother

Almost everyone I know (if not every single one) look up to their moms and think of their moms as the best one ever. That goes for me as well; I look up to my mom and I think she’s the best in the whole wide world. The best mom for someone like me and that’s what matters the most. I have shared a lot of stuff about her and how strong of a person she is so to put her on a different light, I’d write about the 10 things I’ve learned from her.

  1. Letting go is hard but clinging on to something that is toxic, unhealthy and is good for nothing will be a lot harder in the long run.
  • I have faced so many challenges in my 26 years of existence that require letting go. It was hard for me but I understood that it could be a lot harder if you hold on to things, people and memories that are not healthy for your mental, emotional and spiritual health.
  1. Believing in God and having faith is very essential. But hearing mass on a regular basis doesn’t necessarily mean you are a good person already and not hearing mass regularly doesn’t mean you’re a bad person.
  • There are so many things the society dictates when it comes to faith but my mom made sure that we understood faith on a deeper level. Not just by hearing mass and praying.
  1. Love your family.
  • My mom inculcated in us that we be family oriented individuals. Family sticks forever and no matter what happens “hindi mo kayang itapon yan” so you just have to continue loving each other despite the misunderstandings, differences and whatnot.
  1. Education is very important. It’s a treasure that no one can take away from you.
  • In parental sermons we hear the phrases “iyan lang ang kayamanan na hindi maaagaw nino man” and that is true!
  1. Always look at the bright side.
  • Despite everything, in the midst of trials and storms, there’s always something to be grateful for. There’s always a bright side in everything and you just have to go find it.
  1. Know your priorities.
  • As simple as that. Knowing what should come first and knowing what can wait.
  1. Know your worth.
  • Don’t allow yourself to be treated like trash. You’re more than that.
  1. Moms always wants what’s best for you.
  • At least for my mom, she just doesn’t say that for the heck of it but she does because she really do wants what’s best for her children and you must believe that! Heh
  1. She knows everything.
  • There’s no point in lying. Really.
  1. She’s always right.
  • Whatever you have to say, there’s always loopholes because you’re not as wise as your mom. Lels.

You’re the best mama in the world and you made sure that you secure your children and give them the best that life has to offer. I’m grateful every single day and I wish I could give everything you deserve tenfold because no one would be here, I wouldn’t be here where I am right now if not for you and I want you to know that I know it. I love you mom. Happy Birthday!

Share Ko Lang: Tulong

Pang ilan draft na to, simula Biyernes sinusulat ko na ito hindi ko pa rin magawang matapos o magawa ng maayos. Ayoko kasing magmukang nagpipreach, o mukang nagpapabebe. Gusto ko lang naman kasing sabihin kung ano yung nararamdaman ng puso ko lalo na nung nangyari ‘to. Gusto ko kasi sana, kung may makabasa nito na ito yung kailangan nila, sana makatulong o makainspire kahit papano.

Ganito kasi yan. Sa tanan buhay ko nakailang beses na siguro yung mayaman kami tapos bigla kaming maghihirap tapos babangon ulit tapos magdudusa ulit tapos babangon nanaman. Nakailang ganyan na kami pero hindi pa rin nababaliw yung nanay ko. Masaya pa rin kaming pamilya in general kaya naman napatunayan ko na yung ang buhay ay minsan nasa ibabaw ka, minsan nasa ilalim ka. Legit yan. Hindi kami nakaranas na permanent kaming nasa taas at permanent kaming nasa baba. Parang gulong lang, gumugulong lang yung mga nangyayari kaya sa awa naman ng Diyos, ang dami kong natutunan at mas pinatatag pa ako ng panahon. YAHOO!

Kaya sa mga ganyang karanasan, lumaki kaming matulungin ng mga kapatid ko. Ngayon, masasabi ko na ang estado naming ay sakto lang. Hindi kami mayamang mayaman, hindi rin naman kami naghihirap ng husto pero tight lang ang budget. Kumbaga ang mga pwedeng makapaghintay na mga bagay, kailangan maghintay. Kagaya ng bagong cellphone, kotse, bahay at mga kung ano ano pa. Ganon lang kami ngayon, kung may matitira sa budget ay hindi naman kalakihan pero proud ako na kahit ganoon pa man, nakakatulong kami sa mas kapos sa amin.

Ang haba na, pano ko ba ito ishoshort cut? Bahala na.

Nung gabi ng October 17, nagmessage sakin si Kuya Theo (nasa Dubai siya) at tinatanong niya ako kung meron daw ba akong extrang pera na maaaring maipahiram sa kamag anak namin na lumalapit sakanya. Kailangang kailangan na daw kasi tapos kung magpapadala siya, hapon pa kinabukasan papasok ang pera. Hindi naman ako nagdalawang isip, tinanong ko lang siya kung magkano gawa ng hindi rin naman karamihan ang extra kong pera. Kagaya nga ng sinabi ko, tight talaga ang budget para makaraos sa isang buwan diba?

Buti naman eh hindi din kalakihan. Hindi lumampas ng limang libo, kaya madali ko rin naman nahugot. Minessage ko na kaagad yung Tita namin na nanghihingi ng tulong at sinabi kong pwede na niyang kunin ang pera dahil nasa bahay naman na ako.

Ilang minuto ko lang din siyang hinintay. Pagdating niya, sinabihan niya ang tricycle na nagsakay sakanya na kung maaaring hintayin siya. Pinapakain siya ni mama ng hapunan pero wag na daw kasi naghihintay nga ang tricycle driver sakanya. Nung maupo sya sa sofa, inabot ko na agad yung perang kailangan niya. Mapuputulan na daw kasi sila ng kuryente at wala nang ibang malapitan. Hindi niya na napigilang mapaiyak, kaya hindi na kami masyado nagsalita pa. Sabi ko nalang sakanya eh okay lang yun. Sabi niya makakabayad na sila ng kuryente at makakabili ng bigas. “sa wakas!” parang biglang nadurog yung puso ko sa “sa wakas!” na sinabi niya, parang ang sakit sa akin na maski bigas eh hindi pala sila makabili. Nung sumakay na ulit siya sa tricycle, hinabol ko at inabutan ng dagdag. Para naman makabili ng pang ulam at kung ano ano pa.

Yun nalang ang laman ng wallet ko. Naibigay ko na lahat. Kaya pag alis ng tita ko, sinabi ko agad kay mama “so ano, may pera ka pa ba ma? Wala na ako pamasahe bukas” sabay hagalpak kami ng tawa.

Maya maya lang may message na agad yung tita ko. Nobela. Ang daming sinabi, habang binabasa ko sumasakit lalamunan ko sa pagpipigil ng luha. Nakakaiyak. Sinabi niyang ang laking tulong daw kasi ng ginawa namin ng kuya ko.

Nung gabing yun, kahit wala akong pera, nakatulog naman ako ng maayos. Mas hindi ko kakayanin kung hindi sila makakabili ng bigas at mapuputulan ng kuryente.

Di ko naman sinasabing wag magtira, meron pa naman akong naitatabi hindi ko lang nawithdraw kaya wala akong pera na hahahaha pero bilang tight na ang budget lalo pang naging tight, talagang kailangan ko pang magdagdag sa pagtitipid. Pero mas okay na ito diba?

Hindi kami mayaman pero mayaman kami sa pagmamahal at pagmamalasakit. Sana wag nating ipagkait kung ano yung tulong na pwede nating ibigay kapag may nangangailangan.

Being Reactive

For a long time, I am a reactive person, a patola and someone who can’t let things go very easily. In short, hindi talaga ako madaling makamove on from simple yet irritating things. A side comment can drive me nuts and push me over the edge. I get so worked up on trivial things and pour my energy, stress myself more than I should and even if I keep realizing how wrong this is, how I should control myself, my temper and the way I react over things—I keep going back to the cycle. The cycle wherein I can’t allow people to trample over my point and to have my point across all the freaking time. Aside from this is very stressful, it’s also tad bit toxic!

So when I came across what Marts have written, I was again, back to realizing things.

Like how to change my way of living when it comes to reacting, controlling myself and strengthening my walls. I remind myself on a daily basis to keep my walls up and strong! Though easier said than done, with lots of practice, I think I can do it.

I also realized na mas okay palampasin ang mga bagay na wala namang bearing sa ating kaunlaran at pagkatao. That’s why I look up to my mom and Kyx so much when it comes to these things. Sila yung mga taong kilala kong hindi agad natitibag ang mga walls. They can keep calm when everything is turning upside down. Hindi sila mabilis matrigger ng mga shit sa mundo. Mga bagay na nakakaasar. They don’t even waste their time and energy on things so trivial. They shrug it off and go on with their lives, ganyan sila. I wish I can be like that also. Yung walang masyadong hanash.

Positivity!

Pagkatapos kong malugmok, ipinakita sakin ni God na masyado akong naka-focus sa mga nakakapag-pa-stress sakin kaya kinailangan pa niyang ipakita sa akin na kaya kong maging okay.

  1. After writing about my little drama I had, I felt better. Moreover, I felt even better when you guys commented and helped lift my spirits! No matter how simple your messages were, it was enough to make me feel better again. Nakakaiyak yung mga comforting words niyo huhuhuhu 💖💖💖
  2. I keep a copy of the Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff OMNIBUS at my work table. I usually read it every morning but it has been a few days since I last opened it. When I did, what I saw left me surprised and tearful. The title is “Light a Candle Instead of Cursing the Darkness” it says that instead of stressing ourselves out over the problems we face, it’s best to find a solution. The line that caught my attention the most was this “taking positive, solution-oriented steps toward improving a situation instead of complaining about what’s wrong. It means being more a part of the solution rather than a reminder or reinforcement of the problem” (I must remember this)

Another one is this “When we focus too much on what’s wrong, it reminds us of other things we disapprove of or wish were different, which can lead us toward feelings of discouragement and being overwhelmed”


                As much as I can, I shall try to remind myself of these techniques or strategies in order to avoid dramas and too much stress.

  1. I was informed today that some of my overtime pay will be credited on this particular cut-off. I didn’t know how to react. I will have my pang-shopping and my sister’s school fee! Muhahahahahahahahah.

Aside from those, I realized that God and the Universe is really trying to make me feel better through small things that go unnoticed. Traffic wasn’t so bad today despite the fact that traffic was 10 million times heavier yesterday in Pasig compared to most days! It was insane. So I sort of expected another grueling battle with the traffic in Pasig. Surprisingly, it was moderate and actually a bit fast moving! My coffee has just the right amount of sugar and creamer. You see, being a batanguena I like my kapeng barako black. But my mom insists on putting creamer and sugar in it para hindi daw masyadong matapang. I don’t like creamy coffees and yesterday, my coffee is way too creamy for my liking. Today, it was just perfect! Another thing is that, payroll has been credited early!! Compared to other companies, our payroll gets credited later than everyone else’s kaya hallelujah talaga sa salary kanina! HAHAHA.

Ayan na si Kyx 😂


Paepal lang 😂

Yung pinagpeprepare pa ako ni mama ng baon ☺️

Mama and Aila 😘

Lastly, siguro hinga lang ng malalim, tapos laban lang ulit!

16 Things For a Better Life

In a lot of my rocky roads and tumble turns I have went through in my short 26 years of existence, I have learned a couple of things that may be helpful to some. This is also like a “note to self” thing so when I lose track of myself and the essence of everything, I can look back and see this.

15 Things that I have learned, been taught and realized–that may actually help others too!

  1. Your perception of what is right does not mean it is the only thing that’s right.
  • There are a few hundred more angles to look at things and you may find yourself in a situation wherein you know you are right but it’s not the only “right” thing in that situation.
  1. You cannot impose your beliefs and others cannot impose theirs on you.
  • You may have beliefs and principles you abide by but this doesn’t mean you can impose it on other people. The world is a vast and cruel place and people have different perceptions and beliefs on certain things. You can’t force each other to do what you do for your beliefs and the best you can do is educate yourself as to why some don’t support what you support and why some support what you don’t. (however, this is a tricky topic especially when it comes to social and political issues kaya wag na tayo mag-dwell masyado dito. Chos)
  1. Communication is the key.
  • If you want to resolve things with a co-worker, friends and family it is best to communicate with them rather than letting things go only to have them piled up. I have learned this in a hard way and part of what I changed was saying what I think and feel rather than keeping quiet only to bottle my feelings all up until I explode. It’s always a matter of how you say things and not what you actually said (given that your words are professional, civil and objective)
  1. Your feelings are not the only ones that matter.
  • There will be times that you would think your feelings matter the most and are important but needless to say, others’ feelings are equally important as yours.
  1. You don’t need to be cruel to make a point.
  • Need I say more? There’s always a work around in most circumstances.
  1. Doing mean things just because you feel like the other person “deserves” it anyway.
  • That’s what they did to me and I know how wrong it was. It almost killed me when they did so before you start doing something mean to other people, think about how you can almost kill a soul.
  1. You will regret not apologizing.
  • At some point, God or the universe will make you realize the wrong things you have done and you will regret for not apologizing. Maybe at some point you will think that you don’t need to apologize because “you have done nothing wrong” but in the long run, you’ll see and you’ll know.
  1. You will regret not forgiving those who have hurt you.
  • Forgiveness is a freedom and a gift you give yourself more than what you can give to those who have hurt you. If you don’t and can’t forgive, you are only trapping yourself inside a jar that refuses your growth and hinders the love you can give to yourself and other people.
  1. Always say “Please” and “Thank You”.
  • These things are appreciated and doesn’t even take a dollar to do so.
  1. Be there for your Family.
  • They are the ones who will be there for you FOREVER. People come and go but family won’t even if they want to kill you (metaphorically) No matter what happens “hindi mo yan kayang itapon at hindi ka kayang itapon niyan.” Be there and LOVE them wholeheartedly.
  1. Choose your friends.
  • Not everyone you meet will stick by your side through thick and thin. This is true and I have learned it the hard way guys. Kahit gaano pa kayo katagal mag-bestfriend niyan, you’ll never know kaya choose them wisely.
  1. Say what you mean and mean what you say.
  • It’s not that hard when you think about it. Masyado lang natin iniisip yung sasabihin kasi ng iba kaya laging nasusugarcoat or hindi na nasasabi at all.
  1. Bad days and Good days are not gonna stay that way for a long time.
  • So you better learn to cherish every moment whether it is good or bad.
  1. Appreciate what you have.
  • Count your OWN blessings, hindi yung naka-focus ka sa blessing ng iba.

15. It’s okay to be alone sometimes.

  • Alone time teaches you a lot of things.

16.Tell the people you love how much you love and appreciate them.

  • ‘Cause you’ll never when they’ll be gone.