2017 whooped my ass real good and it’s such a mix of ill feelings, pain, hurt, grief, loss, confusion with love, joy, contentment, happiness, working on yourself, finding your missing pieces and mending everything that was broken inside you.
Let’s have a rundown of how 2017 was for me:
- January – Welcomed the New Year with a hopeful heart!
- February – My anxiety worsen this time of the year and had a few breakdowns but of course, Kyx was there to help me out.
- March – Finally, my mom stopped working and was focused on her health!
- April – I turned 26, I lost my best friends, my depression was the worst yet, anxiety and panic attacks almost every day. I wanted to die, I wanted to get ran over by a truck or something, I wanna get drunk all the time, I was in bad shape, I gained SO MUCH WEIGHT, my fat percentage was the worst. Everything seems to be blowing up on my face every single time. This was such a bad month but this is where I started learning, leaving my old bad ways, finding my old self, putting back the pieces I have lost and appreciating every single thing more than ever.
- May – I was slowly going back on track. There were fallouts but I am fine. I got to meet a lot of new friends from the blogosphere and also from the real world heh.
- June – This was when I was really trying my best to know myself and move the fuck on.
- July – I think this was one of the smooth sailing months. Most of my days in July were pretty chillaxed.
- August –My best month amongst the other months. Kyx celebrated his 26th birthday and we celebrated our 3rd anniversary. It was lovely. I think this month made me forget all the pain that I have went through and oh, this month is when I started to really make friends and have been part of TFIOB (if I’m not mistaken hehehe)
- September – This month was pretty okay. Though I still get dark days, I found out I have a support system in different individuals who always help me get back on track. Aside from family, kyx and a few others. Jolens, Amielle, Kate, Kat, Space, Aysa, Lu, Kuya Jheff, Kuya Keso, Jas, Lhory, Gerry, Chammy from TFIOB helped me in times I needed clarity and friends.
- October – My mom celebrated her 55th birthday! It was an okay month.
- November – It was such a stressful month for me. I kept struggling.
- December – I got to see my dad again after soooo many years of being apart. I finally got to meet a few bloggers (from TFIOB) over coffee and doughnuts! I got to spend time with my family when we went to Baguio, I enjoyed December though there were still ugly days especially on Christmas day when I was having a meltdown.
All in all, 2017 was a great year of finding myself and learning from my mistakes. It showed me that there’s so much more to life than my little emo self.
2017 was a tough but also a blessing. I am hoping for a better 2018. Something light, easy and great. I am actually having anxiety just thinking about the problems I’d go through but I am praying that after the hell I went through in 2017, I deserve a little chill. Please Lord. Hehehe
Hope your 2017 was okay and that our 2018 will be amazing! Cheers!