“Lalaki ang sa amin, walang mawawala, walang talo.”

DISCLAIMER: Natrigger ako magsulat nito dahile may dalawang naguusap sa FX kaninang umaga na sa kanila daw kasi ang babae eh nag out of town keme so siyempre sabi ni Tita #1 kay Tita #2 na talo sila kanila ang babae at sa other party eh wala naman daw mawawala. HAHAHAHAAH dahil di ko sila kilala at hindi ko masabihan, isinulat ko ito para malabas ang damdamin ko. HAHAHAHA

Bago ang lahat, wag nating idamay ang relihiyon dito dahil usapang pantao ito. Damdamin, social issue o kung ano pa mang lehitimong tawag sa topic na tinatalakay ko. Hindi dapat kasali kung ano mang relihiyon o paniniwala pagdating sa diyos dahil kahit ano pa man ang relihiyon mo, nasasaktan ka, may damdamin at may pakielam sa pakikipagkapwa tao. Kaya kung relihiyon rin lang ang banat, wag na dito. At tsaka ang gusto ko lang kasi talagang pagusapan ay yung kakitiran ng utak ng mga tao na iniisip na may mawawala sa babae o matatalo ang isang babae kapag iniwan. Alam ko nakapagsulat na ako tungkol dito eh. Kaya lang nagreresurface nanaman kaya banatan ulit natin.


Kapag nagsama ang isang babae at isang lalaki, o nag live-in o nagpakasal lagi sinasabi na ang lalaki naman ay walang mawawala at walang talo. Siguro kasi kapag nabuntis ang isang babae, siya ang magdadala non for 9 months. Pero ang lalaki sasabihin nila na parang wala lang, walang nagbago nakabuntis man o hindi.

Pero kasi 2018 na ang hirap pa rin ba lalo na sa mga Filipino na tanggapin, pagaralan, pagisipan ang gender equality?

Bilang babae, hindi ko maiwasan na mainis o magpuyos ang damdamin kapag naririnig ko yung mga sinasabing sa babae kasi may mawawala o matatalo. Sa paanong paraan ho? Ano ho ang mawawala? Excuse my French pero magpapakatotoo na ako ah, mawawala ang alin? Ang virginity? Alisin natin ang mga pangkatolikong paniniwala o kung ano pa man. Tao sa taong usapan lang. Kung (gustong gusto kong isulat yung terminology na naiisip ko kaso baka sabihin niyo bastos pero isusulat ko pa rin) kik* lang rin ang basehan, sumisikip naman yon kahit gamitin mo araw araw. Scientifically speaking, hindi yan lumuluwag o nawawala sa porma via natural sexual intercourse. Ano pa? Ano pa mawawala? Yung innocence, nawala na yun matagal na. Ano pa? Alin pa? Yung puri? Ano bang ibig sabihin para sa inyo ng “puri”? Sa tekstong sekswal lang ba ang sukat at basehan? Oh come on. Puri my ass.

Sa lalaki din naman may nawawala. Nawawala din ang virginity nila. Hindi ko talaga maintindihan sa kung paanong paraan natatalo at may nawawala sa babae at sa lalaki naman ay wala. Walang talo. Puro panalo lang. Contest ba to na may nananalo at natatalo?

Kasi magwork man ang isang relasyon o hindi. Magkaroon man ng anak o hindi, wala naming nananalo at natatalo. Sige let’s put it this way, nagkaroon ng anak ang isang magkarelasyon. Iniwan ni lalaki si babae at ang anak. The end. Anong talo don? Makakahanap si babae ng kapalit ni lalaki kung yun ang destiny niya. Kung iniwan man siya sa kung ano mang kadahilanan hindi matatapos ang buhay doon, hindi titigil ang pagikot ng mundo at lalong lalo na walang contest na may nananalo at natatalo.

Kung si babae naman ang umiwan kay lalaki at sa anak nila ganon din naman. Makakahanap din si lalaki ng kapalit, aalagaan din niya ang anak, masasaktan din siya, pagdadaanan din niya ang emosyonal na trauma pero makakabangon din siya diba?

Tigil tigilan niyo ako sa mga talo ang babae. Hindi na makakahanap ng matinong lalaki gawa nang nabuntis na siya at iba pang keme at may anak na siya at kung ano ano pang katangahang banat.

Babae o lalaki, may anak o wala, may sex na naganap, walang natalo at walang nanalo. Mag-iwanan man sila, masakit yun at may emotional baggage silang dala pero walang mas kawawa lalo na kung gagawin mo yung best mo para makaahon ka sa kalugmukan.

2018 na ang sesexist parin. Pwe.

Ewan ko ba. Nakakainis. hahahahhaha


UPDATE!

Sensitibo ako pagdating sa topic na ganito dahil I came from a broken family. Kung mabasa man to ng pamilya ng ama ko o ng pamilya ng mga kapatid ko o kamag anak ng mga kapatid ko sa tatay nila, this is not intended to offend pero basehan ko lang yung katotohanan na ang mama ko mismo ang nagdesisyon na makipaghiwalay sa tatay namin ng mga kapatid ko dahil hindi na nagwowork yung relationship. Itinaguyod niya kaming mag-isa, walang tulong ng kahit na sino, hindi kami pinagaral ng mga kamag anak namin at mama ko lang talaga. Siya ang sumalo at umako ng lahat ng responsibilidad ng isang magulang pero NEVER kong nakita o naramdaman na kawawa siya. Namulat kami na matatag siya, matapang, may diskarte sa buhay. Lahat ng kinakain namin, pinangpapaaral sa amin sa kanya lang nanggaling. Wala kahit na sino ang nagbigay samin ng suporta maliban sa kanya at hindi ko nakitaan ng kahinaan kahit na alam kong mahirap magtaguyod ng limang anak na magisa ka lang. Kaya ako, ayokong naririnig na kawawa ang babae kapag iniwan. Dahil una sa lahat, kaya rin ng babaeng mang-iwan. Pangalawa, hindi kawawa dahil basta kakayanin mo at magsusumikap ka, hindi mo hahayaan ang sarili mong maging kawawa. Pangatlo, inexplain ng mama ko sakin na noong unang panahon lang kawawa kapag iniwan dahil walang walang aral o trabaho ang karamihan sa mga kababaihan (di ko alam anong year yon, baka di pa nga ako inuumpisahang buuin ng magulang ko noon) pero iba na ngayon. Ang babae, may pinagaralan, may trabaho at lumalaban.

About naman sa gender equality, ang lalaki din naman kapag iniwan hindi rin siya dapat maging kawawa. Ang lalaki kapag niloko kakayanin din niya dapat makaahon sa sakit na dinulot ng failed relationship. At kung sakanya iwanan ang anak, kayang kaya rin niyang palakihin iyon.

Kaya wag na tayo sa double standards. Masakit sa tenga marinig yun eh. Dapat pasulong, paangat. Lalaki o babae, walang kawawa at walang talo. Tandaan nyo yan.

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Gender Equality, Feminism, Chivalry and Sexism (I am all over the place so try to not judge me and how I wrote this)

This may sort of be a long read, but please please do read it. I really need your opinion, I crave for a discussion on matters like this. So please please please help.

I often have discussions like this with Kyx especially when we’re stuck in bad traffic.

How do we all fight for “Gender Equality” in a world that cries for chivalry, in a world that takes “feminism” in a whole different manner, in a world where if not all, most people are clueless how “gender equality” works.

How can we all be politically correct in all these? How can we live by gender equality when we could all be ignorant at times and how can we stop sexism?

Okay, let’s see how this goes.

  1. When you look “Gender equality” up on Google, the first thing you’d come across is how Wikipedia defined it. “Gender equality, also known as sexual equality, is the state of equal access to resources and opportunities regardless of gender. It is achieved through gender neutrality and gender equity”

In my understanding and in advocacies we’ve heard all over the world, gender equality is when both men and women have the luxury to live with the same rights and opportunities in all aspects. May it be at the workplace or privileges in the society.

  1. Moving to “Feminism”, when you look it up on Google, you’d see synonyms such as “women liberation”, and when you find how it is defined, you’d see something that crosses with “gender equality”. That Feminism is the advocacy of women wherein they fight for equal rights regardless of gender.

 

  1. Now off to “Chivalry”, it is defined as when medieval knights show courtly manners, nobility, courtesy and all that. In the 21st century, it’s more about being a “gentleman” (or correct me if I’m wrong cause that’s how I understand it)

 

Given these 3 things, let’s now discuss what’s up!

Case on point #1:

Many months back, I guess about a year ago, a woman in her 20s I believe, went viral on social media (at least here in the Philippines) because she posted a photo of a guy who she is accusing of not being a gentleman. The train was full and a lot of people are standing up, now the guy in the photo clearly didn’t give his seat up for the girl. The girl then went to rant on social media how she was so tired but then this guy is sitting pretty (actually looking tired and innocent AF). She said that the guy should’ve given his seat up so that she can sit instead of the guy. What’s your take on this?

You see, more often than not, I am all for gender equality. If a guy wouldn’t give his seat up for me then I wouldn’t feel bad. It’s not like I am more privileged than him. Gender equality clearly states that both men and women get the same rights in all aspects so why the hell would I get mad for not having a seat on a train while a man sits and I stand? I mean I won’t get bothered even if I was hella tired.

Well, the woman who posted the photo that went viral on social media gained mixed reactions from the public. Some were sharing sentiments with her stating “chivalry is dead” while most got upset that this woman is crying out loud just because she was not given the seat that the guy deserved too.

 

Case on point #2:

Pregnant Women are the priority

Now it gets tricky from hereon. So someone please tell me, why pregnant women be the priority whether in queue for a public transportation or in the bank? I mean I get that they are carrying the baby and it’s quite a discomfort and it’s heavy and shit but, what’s the actual basis for this? I’m not mad at pregnant women, I am seriously asking because I do not know for sure as to why are they prioritized? Is it plainly because everyone needs to understand that pregnant women are having a hard time in everything while they’re pregnant so we help them in all ways possible or is it just plain sexism? Please shed some light on this because I am not sure hahaha. All I know is that we let them get to ride in public transportation first than the rest, we give way even if we were first in line because they are top priority and as far as the “why are they the top priority?” is concerned, I do not know. **seriously. What do you think and know about this, put it in the comment box**

 

Case on point #3:

Using a lot of sexist terms EVERYFUCKINGWHERE and it just makes me cringe so much I can’t even

Have you ever heard of the phrases “be a man!” or “you’re acting like a girl”? These terms seem innocent but are completely and utterly sexist. In the Philippines, you’d hear a lot of phrases like this:

“kalalaki mong tao natatakot ka sa multo” (You’re a guy and yet you get scared of ghosts)

“kalalaki mong tao iiyak iyak ka diyan” (You’re a guy and yet you are crying?)

“kababae mong tao ang lakas lakas mong tumawa” (You’re a girl and yet you laugh so loud)

“kababae mong tao ganyan ka magsalita” (You’re a girl yet you speak like that?)

And so on and so forth. Just use “kababae/kalalaki mong tao” and then insert a stereotypical phrase and BOOM= welcome to sexism!

 

In my opinion, sexism is everywhere. In the household, in the work place in public, in the movie houses, in the neighbourhood, in school. My gosh. I have no words.

Are guys not allowed to get scared? Are they not allowed to cry when they feel hurt or happy? Are girls not allowed to laugh like a hyena when they feel like it? Are girls not allowed to talk a certain way?

In the Philippines, we are taught that men and women need to live a certain way, dictated by the society. But FFS, this is the 21st century and why are we still not educated on matters like this? Why do we keep ourselves away from openness and why do we fight battles we know so little about?

Why the hell do we cry out so loud fighting for gender equality when we are so ignorant about the phrases and actions we say and do? Why do we want chivalry, crying if a guy is not a “gentleman” when we clearly fight for “gender equality”? Why do we use sexist phrases in the 21st century like it’s normal?

Think about it. Let’s discuss. Let’s talk about what you think. Let’s educate people, let’s share information, let’s speak up, let us help each other with the exchange of intelligence and openness. Let us not leave ourselves ignorant. Let’s keep asking, let’s keep learning.

 

I know I only covered a speck of the issues in our society, I know there are other problematic areas about this and there are deeper root problems here so don’t judge me haha!