“Magkaibigan lang kami” Is So Tiring

*this post is mostly written in Tagalog*

I did mention before that Kyx and I started as really good friends.

Everything was so slow for us and when the time came, it all happened at once that I didn’t have time to savor the moments of being in a mutual understanding kind of phase.

We were literally just friends. Like we didn’t have that landian phase? I mean we did but we kind of established it when we started dating. It was all just too quick.

So ganito diba, we don’t talk everyday when we were just friends. Walang harut harutan na nangyari. Then when we accidentally bumped into each other after not seeing him for years doon na nagstart na magusap kami everyday. We texted and talked over Facebook chat araw araw and that same week, we went out. Nanood kami Guardians of the Galaxy and we were just friends pero ano ba, crush ko na kasi talaga sya nung time na yun. But we were just friends eh diba?

After weeks of going out on dates, we sort of established na MU kami, walang ganap na “saan ba ako lulugar?” walang “mafefriendzone kaya ako?” walang ganon. Kasi parang napagkasunduan na namin agad—though we didn’t talk about it, parang naintindihan lang namin parehas na we’re both on the same page. Siguro we were too old for pabebe scenarios. 23 na kami nung time na yun and Kyx never had a girlfriend before. (ako talaga kasi first niya diba bwahaha pilitin ko sya ako na last char) so looking back, I feel like wala siyang time magpacute or pabebe pa kung we like each other or not diba.

Ang dami kong sinasabi, eto na yung part na bakit ko ba sinusulat to.

Yesterday, I told Kyx that I miss being just friends with him so I asked him if we can pretend that we’re just friends. Sinakyan naman niya trip ko. So naguusap kami na kunyari friends lang kami ganyan, baliw lang diba haha. SIguro from 9am to 5pm ganyan kami. But then, I got tired!! Parang the situation is sucking all the energy I have? Parang literal na kapagod eh.

Kaya naisip ko, it is so physically, mentally and emotionally draining to not know where you stand in someone’s life. It’s so hard to impit and hide your emotions, pretending you just want to be friends with someone when in fact, legit na gusto mo talaga siya yung makasama mo forever. I’m thankful that I’m not in that kind of situation pero I feel for those who are in the friendzone. I mean yung hindi pa nafefriendzone pero yung confused na kung saan ba sila lulugar. It’s so hard to be in that position.

Aside from praying for your heart’s desire, gawan mo na ng paraan yan. I mean humanap ka na ng timing na mawala ka sa posisyon na yan. Life is short, hindi habang buhay makakapagpabebe ka. Tsaka ang hirap ng ganyan, nakakapagod literal.

Fun, Friendship, Realizations

Why do I even want to attempt an anonymous blog when I want to post photos here? Hayy self.

Anyway, I’m sharing with you photos from last Saturday. It was a fun night, a night that we would surely remember. It was not super fancy or eventful but the simplicity of it made an impact that I will remember forever.

Aside from the fun we all have, I realized a lot of things and friendship plays a big part in this.

Remember about 4 months ago, I struggled and the main issue is with my own friends for 15 years? Now, I feel like I am really recovering from the loss and the unnecessary pain I felt.

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Last Saturday, I realized how blessed I am to have friends that will support and love both me and Kyx. We have 6 friends whom I invited to join us for Ramen and surprise Kyx—and they were there. They took some of their time from their busy schedules just so they can make one person happy (two at that because it made me very happy that they wanted to make Kyx happy!)

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Then at Angge’s art show, we—her friends were there. We supported her because we love seeing our friends succeed in their career. I love how I saw Angge contented and happy that night. I know very little of her struggles just so this art show would come out as a success but I know that she went through a hella ton of shit and seeing her smile and goof around like she always does (no matter how crazy life is unfolding in front of her eyes) made me really proud.

I’ve only known Angge for a good 3 years but I have learned that the amount of time does not affect how a friendship would go. Angge is originally Kyx’s friend and I just became her friend because Kyx and I got together hahahaha.

Pero gets? That night, I was happy. I was showered with friends, seeing them smile and seeing them happy made me happy. I still have good friends despite the fact that I’ve lost so many along the way. It doesn’t really matter now because what matters is what I have than what I lost.

Glitch Glitch: Immortal Days

I wanted to show you all art pieces from Glitch Glitch: Immortal Days 2 man show by Angge and Crist but I have to tell you that I am such a failure when it comes to blogging. I should have gotten the names of each art piece but whatever. I’ll do better next time I swear.

Glitch Glitch: Immortal Days by Angge Lorente and Crist Espiritu

Glitch Glitch, the collective name of visual artists Crist Espiritu and Angge Lorente, unveils their latest artworks in a two-man exhibition titled “Immortal Days”. The show features a collection of artworks that urges one to go back to those years of juvenile exploits. Yesterdays of endless endorphin rush brought about by transient fancies, bad decisions and substance experimentation. Days when one surrendered to hazy nights of seemingly endless euphoria. Glory days that went on forever. These were the years that birthed your happy place. These were the days when you were immortal.

Angge Lorente explores/ exploits the human anatomy in its most primal; stripped of all mundane labels like gender, age or job descriptions. In her paintings the subjects are exquisite mishmash of flesh chucked onto the canvas with geometric figures, organic patterns, and textures creating engaging compositions. These process results dimming the inherent vulnerabilities of the subjects. By stripping away all the unnecessary, what remains are creatures of pure beauty driven by wanton desires and intractable emotions. Lorente’s art is a mirror that reflects our idealized selves… perpetually young and electric.

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For Immortal Days, Crist Espiritu went on a relatively experimental path and presents his latest series called “Repurposing Memories”; a series of found objects, videos and mixed media assemblage. The artist states that “…the best days are those one could barely remember. Days wrapped in dopamine haze wherein the truth is blurred out thereby converting the experience into raw emotions unbound by logic’s boring gravitational pull.”
With this in mind, Espiritu reclaimed objects with inseverable links to his personal past and exorcised the intrinsic stories within each of them. Beaten up skateboards, wornout sneakers and other items all became raw materials for the process. Through creative alterations the objects are given new functions and are transformed into artworks that looks to the future instead of staying mere relics of years long gone. With this approach both the process and the final artworks inevitably become allegories for the coming of age.

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Glitch Glitch believes that in today’s robotically fast-paced world, art serves as a break from all of life’s monotonously bland programming. With this show, Glitch Glitch shoves into focus the quickly depleting health bar you are given to navigate this rigged game that is your existence. No sense in setting your gears to a slow crawl towards the end. Go out and live your immortal days.

(Glitch Glitch: Immortal Days write up (I didn’t write this)

 

They both very much differ in style and execution but both outputs were lovely! I love Angge’s realism and the play she did with black and white and grey while popping some gold and red. I bet it has so much more than what I can understand and I regret not asking Angge these things but she was actually really busy entertaining a ton of guest! *Congratulations Angge!*

I also love how Crist played with mixed media. There’s so much details in his works and it screams passion in all the pieces. It’s on the funky and bright colored paints but you can tell there’s something deeper than just vibrant images and colors.

Here are the photos that Kyx and I managed to capture. You must remember that Kyx is very uncomfortable with taking photos in public, He is so awkward and shy but whatever, I however got him to take my pictures and I can tell he’s cringing but didn’t want to disappoint me lol.

*I didn’t edit the photos I took of Angge and Crist’s art pieces so you can see it raw.

Surprise!!

Hindi talaga pupwedeng smooth lahat eh ‘no? Kailangan yung agit ako and nagkaka-anxiety eh.

Okay, so eto na nga. Maraming naka-line up na activities noong Sabadong iyon, August 5, 2017. Pero siyempre, may work ako (every Saturday, 9am to 4pm work sched ko) hassle diba.

So eto talaga yung plano. August 1 birthday ni Kyx, sinurprise ko lang sya ng pabebe post sa FB; album ito na naglalaman ng pictures namin kasama ang mga mahal namin sa buhay na kapamilya at mga kaibigan. Tapos binigyan ko siya ng cake at 12 midnight tapos naiyak iyak siya. Naiyak din ako kasi nakakaiyak yung pag-iyak niya. HAHA. Tapos wala na akong maisip pang ibigay o kaya naman puntahan o pumlano pa ng party para sakanya given that our schedules are both so tight. Busy kami parehas. Ako sa work sa office, si Kyx sa pagiging digital illustrator niya (homebased si koya pero busy talaga siya) kaya nahirapan akong isipin kung ano ang pwedeng gawin para ma-celebrate manlang ang birthday niya. So niyaya ko yung mga kaibigan namin na talagang ka-close namin na kumain ng Ramen sa Ippudo (Mega Fashion Hall Branch; guys, kami ni Kyx doon lang kami kumakain siguro. Hanggang sa naging kaibigan na namin yung mga cre doon at manager) Sinikreto ko kay Kyx na niyaya ko yung 6 namin na kaibigan para kahit papaano may surprise factor diba. 1 week before, naayos ko na mga ganap. Pwede yung 6 friends namin, itinawag ko na sa Ippudo at okay na okay na ang mga ganap. Sinabi ko sa friends namin na kailangan before 5pm andon na sila. So okay naman diba.

Bandang 3pm hindi ako mapakali. Feeling ko bakit sobrang smooth naman? Parang walang roadblock? Feeling ko may mali. HAHA. So ginawa ko tumawag ako ulit sa Ippudo, BOOOOOM! Wala yung manager na kausap ko, nagkaroon ng emergency leave. Yung papalit sakanya na kilala ko 6pm pa dadating. Yung crew na nagaasikaso ng hanash ko dapat, nalipat sa morning sched noong araw na yun. ANO NA???? Gusto ko talagang tumambling. Pero kalma lang bes, maitatawid yan. Kaya shut up muna ako, napakiusapan naman mga tao doon tapos nakausap ko naman yung isang crew na kilala ko at itinawag din niya don. Okay na. Sige fight.

4pm, out ko na, kabado ako mga bes kasi hindi ko alam ano mangyayari. Kausap ko lahat ng kasama namin sa Ippudo tapos naghihintay sila ng table. Hindi kami pwedeng pumunta doon sa restaurant hangga’t wala sila lahat doon (yung 6 friends namin) kaya buti nalang medyo natagalan kami magpark. Yung isang friend namin na taga Laguna, wala pa siya so nung nakapark na kami, sabi ni Kyx magwiwithdraw muna sya. Nakahinga hinga ako ng konti. Almost complete na sila, papunta na sa Ippudo yung isang friend namin pero baka magkasabay kami kaya sinabi ko kay Kyx daan kaming National Bookstore kasi kailangan ko ng bagong watercolor pad. Pagdating namin doon, browse browse ako sa mga watercolor papers tapos nagtext na yung isang friend ko na kumpleto na daw sila. So ayun na nga, sabi ko tara kain na tayo. Go naman si koya niyo.

Pagdating namin don, sumigaw ng lame “surprise!” yung mga friends namin tapos ayun, gulantang to the max si Kyx.

Naging successful naman ang mini surprise ko at natuwa naman si Kyx at mga friends niya sa mumunting birthday celebration namin doon. 😉

Naitawid diba? Yung pictures, ilalagay ko nalang mamaya. Ieedit ko pa kasi ang dilim eh hahaha.

How Did I Gain New Filipino Friends Here???!! (UPDATED)

Seryoso. Guys, where did you find my blog? Hahahahaha

I can’t believe it. It makes me so kilig that I found new friends here. New followers and that’s not even the catch, the catch is new FILIPINO and Asian followers and friends!

I don’t get as much Filipino blogger friends. I always thought no one in the Philippines ever really reads my blog until Kate came along, then Say Cheese! came along. Until Ica and then the rest just followed!

Why am I so fascinated. Ang babaw ko diba. It’s just that it makes me so kilig and finally, I can write in Filipino. One of the many reasons why I write in English is because I don’t have Filipino followers. Now I can write in Filipino (Tagalog) for more emosyon! LOL.

Just really grateful and I want to thank you all especially my new Filipino blog friends. Again, I don’t get as many kaya I really appreciate you guys.

Check their blogs here:

Ica // Kate // Say Cheese!

Keira // Isabelle // Krishel // Pen and Paper // Princess // Amielle

Vienna // Monch

Did I miss anyone? If so, please comment so I can give you a shout out! whoo!!

Also, do you guys get notified when I put the link of your blog here? If not, how do I do that? or is there such a thing? hahaha Thanks!

Healing Takes More Than Just Time

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Over the course of time, in my healing process I realized that it’s more than just time. Healing takes a lot of courage and acceptance. You just can’t depend on how long you’ve been going through the same shit expecting yourself to just go and move on, get healed.

Of course, healing takes time. No matter how hurt you are, no matter how painful it is, no matter how long you felt like you’ve been suffering, all these are temporary and you will heal.

Through time, you’d embrace every single crap you ever dealt with and understand the pain it caused you. You will realize that it’s not because the universe wanted you to suffer but simply because everything happens for the greater cause and you must take your struggles as opportunity for growth.

Everyone heals in time, everyone realizes their mistakes, everyone understands each other given the right amount of time, the right moment.

Aside from that, you must take hold of your courage. With courage, you’d be able to accept things as it is without fearing what the future has to offer.