Someone Tell Me

When it comes to healing, moving on and letting go

Why do we need closure, why do we seek and crave for it? And why, despite knowing that this is probably common and needed, people do not give it to you?

Why do we need to hear whether we are forgiven or not, why do we need to be put into place? Why do we need to know these things?

Why despite the chances of hearing and knowing the bad things they have to say, we still want to hear it anyway?

Someone tell me. Seriously. I need to be enlightened.

Advertisements

Lately I have been thinking of how I can start my life anew. Like start on a clean slate.

I started to think about the old friends I used to have and how my life turned upside down. I started my forgiveness since the day I have finally understood that nope, there’s no going back. But forgiveness is a tricky thing and for the first time in a long time, I don’t blame myself for it.

I have pictured and made myself believe that I am walking forward, toward a new life but in reality I was trying to walk forward while turning for over a couple of dozens of times only to realize that there’s no need for me to look back.

Part of my being is keeping memories close to my heart. I can remember even the smallest of details from 20 years ago and it still plays very vividly on my mind as if it was just yesterday. So the problem with letting go of people is the memories I had back with them. I don’t think I was ever prepared that what I have held on for so long—the memories, are made to be forcibly forgotten.

How in the world will I ever forget these when I don’t even intend to remember it anymore? How will I do that?

I got a simple answer care of myself as usual. That’s when forgiveness enters and I must understand its meaning, value and what it entails.

When I forgive these people, I can move forward without hesitations, without looking back and regretting every step I took forward.

There are people I have cut out from my life and there are people who did just that to me. Now, in the midst of trying to let everything go and move on from where I am, I couldn’t help but think how some people can simply cut you off without having closure? But I guess that’s how the cope with things.

I just hope that I can leave everything behind and only look back from time to time without hurting myself on the thought of retracing memories. I just. I just really want to let myself go.

Forgiveness

 

Whether it is you seeking forgiveness or someone is seeking yours, you have to deal with it with love, patience and understanding. It’s easier said than done given the circumstances but in general, you must know that forgiveness is as strong as love.

Forgiving someone for the wrong things they have done is strength. It goes to show that you are strong enough to admit what you did wrong and that you are all for it than your ego and pride.

Seeking forgiveness from someone whom you have hurt shows that your love is bigger than yourself and it is more important to you to make peace with your enemies than float and gloat in a high boosted by negative emotions.

Whatever you do, seek love and understanding within yourself. No matter how much you dislike the person, no matter how they have wronged you, it is much better to be at peace with them so you can be at peace with yourself.

Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself as much as you give to those who have wronged you.

You’re Going To Be Okay

In this life, you’ll be surprised that there are people ready to throw away anything and everything without even thinking twice.If you encounter these people, do not take it against yourself, do not ever think you’re not worthy. Your worth does not depend on who stays and who leaves.

Don’t ever think you’re hard to love and you don’t deserve goodness. Because in time, they’ll see you’re worth every heartbeat, time, effort, importance and value but you’ve already gone and moved on. 

You’ve already loved yourself better and enough that you do not need to depend on others’ treatment.

Weakness or Strength?

They’ll see this as weakness, their cruelty will take advantage of it, they’ll take this as cowardly but my soft-heart is one of the things that keep me alive, sane and bright.

I used to think of myself as a weakling. Always ready to give in into people’s desires, wants and needs—setting aside my own. Always happy for other people’s happiness and even willing to give up my own. I used to just live for other’s and are willing to bend on over just to please other people.

I used to think that my gift of forgiving others no matter how much they have wronged me is a weakness. Always trying to understanding what led to this and throwing away the pain because finding joy and peace with others is a lot more better than holding grudges.

As I went on in a loop of heartache, trauma and confusion, I have found my strength in cruel situations. No matter how people think it was pathetic of me to reach out or seek forgiveness, no matter how much of a loser they think I would be when I say sorry more than I should, I still found it as a strength and an ability for a more successful me.

I am strong enough to apologize and strong enough to forgive. Strong enough to choose forgetting rather than holding to so much pain for far too long.

Choose this strength—the strength to have a soft-heart in a tough world. To use it in cruel situations.

Was It Worth It?

Forgiveness is not just accepting apologies and giving chances.

Forgiveness is freeing yourself from the cruel burdens, heartache, pain, emotional torture, mental discomfort. Forgiveness is not just something you give out to those who have wronged you, forgiveness is opening your heart to the hurt you felt and accepting that in this life, inflicted pain is inevitable but it’s up to you to unburden yourself.

If you don’t forgive other people for the things they did wrong to you, you are giving yourself more burden than you could carry. You are making yourself suffer when in reality, you don’t deserve that. No one deserves that kind of suffering and the sad part is, you are the one making yourself suffer if you don’t forgive.

There will be times that you’re in a darker spot than ever, you may fill your heart with rage and anger. You condition yourself with trauma and despair but trust yourself that that phase is going to end. You just have to feel these emotions so you can appreciate the fruit of this bitter cause. In those dark days, try to welcome the ability to see the light and forgive both you and other people for all the pain you’re feeling. This isn’t as easy as it seems, it would probably take time but the more that you are willing to throw ill feelings, the more it will be easier to forgive.

Then you’ll ask yourself, was it worth it? Was it worth forgiving those who have wronged you no matter how sick of a person they have been? Of course yes. Forgiving is doing yourself a favour of unburdening the dead weight you’ve been carrying. And that for me is worth it.

What If The Dead Can’t Hear You?

Why do we always wait for someone to die before we quietly cry as we pour our hearts out while they lie in their coffin? Why do we wait for them to die before we replay all the good memories? Why wait for them to die before we visit them?

Why do we always just look at the dead and wish they could hear the words we wanna say?

Why? What if the dead can’t hear us anymore?

Forguve while you can, speak to people when you can, look them in the eye genuinely and tell them everything you wish to say because if they die, you’re not even sure that they could hear you. Life is short. Remember that. ~