How Did I Gain New Filipino Friends Here???!! (UPDATED)

Seryoso. Guys, where did you find my blog? Hahahahaha

I can’t believe it. It makes me so kilig that I found new friends here. New followers and that’s not even the catch, the catch is new FILIPINO and Asian followers and friends!

I don’t get as much Filipino blogger friends. I always thought no one in the Philippines ever really reads my blog until Kate came along, then Say Cheese! came along. Until Ica and then the rest just followed!

Why am I so fascinated. Ang babaw ko diba. It’s just that it makes me so kilig and finally, I can write in Filipino. One of the many reasons why I write in English is because I don’t have Filipino followers. Now I can write in Filipino (Tagalog) for more emosyon! LOL.

Just really grateful and I want to thank you all especially my new Filipino blog friends. Again, I don’t get as many kaya I really appreciate you guys.

Check their blogs here:

Ica // Kate // Say Cheese!

Keira // Isabelle // Krishel // Pen and Paper // Princess // Amielle

Vienna // Monch

Did I miss anyone? If so, please comment so I can give you a shout out! whoo!!

Also, do you guys get notified when I put the link of your blog here? If not, how do I do that? or is there such a thing? hahaha Thanks!

Slowly But Surely

For some, 3 months is probably a short time to consider but for someone like me, a constantly busy person who goes to work 6 days a week—3 months is a long time for me.

At first, I was rushing myself to just get over it as quickly as possible. I kept telling myself how these are all nonsense and that I didn’t have much time to acknowledge these ill feelings. Maybe that’s why I keep going through hell and back over and over again. I was stuck in a loop, in a cycle I didn’t understand. Sometimes I cry, other times I’m angry. Sometimes I faked smiles, sometimes I feel like it’s over and I have accepted everything. Sometimes I wrote in rage, sometimes I felt okay. That’s how I have been and that didn’t help me at all (or maybe it did? A little I guess)

I talked to Zheng (a good friend of mine) and asked him his thoughts (I’ll write about it in a different post but let me get his permission first lol) and that’s the only time that I finally understood what I was going through.

It all came to me that I needed to treat it slowly. Slowly but surely.

Slowly, I felt good about myself, I felt good about what happened. I realized that I needed this. I needed to be broken apart so I can rebuild myself, so I can find what I lost and that’s the only time that I fully embraced myself.

Though I slipped a million times for the past 3 months, I feel really better now.

Gender Equality, Feminism, Chivalry and Sexism (I am all over the place so try to not judge me and how I wrote this)

This may sort of be a long read, but please please do read it. I really need your opinion, I crave for a discussion on matters like this. So please please please help.

I often have discussions like this with Kyx especially when we’re stuck in bad traffic.

How do we all fight for “Gender Equality” in a world that cries for chivalry, in a world that takes “feminism” in a whole different manner, in a world where if not all, most people are clueless how “gender equality” works.

How can we all be politically correct in all these? How can we live by gender equality when we could all be ignorant at times and how can we stop sexism?

Okay, let’s see how this goes.

  1. When you look “Gender equality” up on Google, the first thing you’d come across is how Wikipedia defined it. “Gender equality, also known as sexual equality, is the state of equal access to resources and opportunities regardless of gender. It is achieved through gender neutrality and gender equity”

In my understanding and in advocacies we’ve heard all over the world, gender equality is when both men and women have the luxury to live with the same rights and opportunities in all aspects. May it be at the workplace or privileges in the society.

  1. Moving to “Feminism”, when you look it up on Google, you’d see synonyms such as “women liberation”, and when you find how it is defined, you’d see something that crosses with “gender equality”. That Feminism is the advocacy of women wherein they fight for equal rights regardless of gender.

 

  1. Now off to “Chivalry”, it is defined as when medieval knights show courtly manners, nobility, courtesy and all that. In the 21st century, it’s more about being a “gentleman” (or correct me if I’m wrong cause that’s how I understand it)

 

Given these 3 things, let’s now discuss what’s up!

Case on point #1:

Many months back, I guess about a year ago, a woman in her 20s I believe, went viral on social media (at least here in the Philippines) because she posted a photo of a guy who she is accusing of not being a gentleman. The train was full and a lot of people are standing up, now the guy in the photo clearly didn’t give his seat up for the girl. The girl then went to rant on social media how she was so tired but then this guy is sitting pretty (actually looking tired and innocent AF). She said that the guy should’ve given his seat up so that she can sit instead of the guy. What’s your take on this?

You see, more often than not, I am all for gender equality. If a guy wouldn’t give his seat up for me then I wouldn’t feel bad. It’s not like I am more privileged than him. Gender equality clearly states that both men and women get the same rights in all aspects so why the hell would I get mad for not having a seat on a train while a man sits and I stand? I mean I won’t get bothered even if I was hella tired.

Well, the woman who posted the photo that went viral on social media gained mixed reactions from the public. Some were sharing sentiments with her stating “chivalry is dead” while most got upset that this woman is crying out loud just because she was not given the seat that the guy deserved too.

 

Case on point #2:

Pregnant Women are the priority

Now it gets tricky from hereon. So someone please tell me, why pregnant women be the priority whether in queue for a public transportation or in the bank? I mean I get that they are carrying the baby and it’s quite a discomfort and it’s heavy and shit but, what’s the actual basis for this? I’m not mad at pregnant women, I am seriously asking because I do not know for sure as to why are they prioritized? Is it plainly because everyone needs to understand that pregnant women are having a hard time in everything while they’re pregnant so we help them in all ways possible or is it just plain sexism? Please shed some light on this because I am not sure hahaha. All I know is that we let them get to ride in public transportation first than the rest, we give way even if we were first in line because they are top priority and as far as the “why are they the top priority?” is concerned, I do not know. **seriously. What do you think and know about this, put it in the comment box**

 

Case on point #3:

Using a lot of sexist terms EVERYFUCKINGWHERE and it just makes me cringe so much I can’t even

Have you ever heard of the phrases “be a man!” or “you’re acting like a girl”? These terms seem innocent but are completely and utterly sexist. In the Philippines, you’d hear a lot of phrases like this:

“kalalaki mong tao natatakot ka sa multo” (You’re a guy and yet you get scared of ghosts)

“kalalaki mong tao iiyak iyak ka diyan” (You’re a guy and yet you are crying?)

“kababae mong tao ang lakas lakas mong tumawa” (You’re a girl and yet you laugh so loud)

“kababae mong tao ganyan ka magsalita” (You’re a girl yet you speak like that?)

And so on and so forth. Just use “kababae/kalalaki mong tao” and then insert a stereotypical phrase and BOOM= welcome to sexism!

 

In my opinion, sexism is everywhere. In the household, in the work place in public, in the movie houses, in the neighbourhood, in school. My gosh. I have no words.

Are guys not allowed to get scared? Are they not allowed to cry when they feel hurt or happy? Are girls not allowed to laugh like a hyena when they feel like it? Are girls not allowed to talk a certain way?

In the Philippines, we are taught that men and women need to live a certain way, dictated by the society. But FFS, this is the 21st century and why are we still not educated on matters like this? Why do we keep ourselves away from openness and why do we fight battles we know so little about?

Why the hell do we cry out so loud fighting for gender equality when we are so ignorant about the phrases and actions we say and do? Why do we want chivalry, crying if a guy is not a “gentleman” when we clearly fight for “gender equality”? Why do we use sexist phrases in the 21st century like it’s normal?

Think about it. Let’s discuss. Let’s talk about what you think. Let’s educate people, let’s share information, let’s speak up, let us help each other with the exchange of intelligence and openness. Let us not leave ourselves ignorant. Let’s keep asking, let’s keep learning.

 

I know I only covered a speck of the issues in our society, I know there are other problematic areas about this and there are deeper root problems here so don’t judge me haha!

Mystery Blogger Award

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Rules of Award:

  1. Put the award/logo image on your blog
  2. List the rules
  3. Thank whoever nominated you and provide a link to their blog
  4. Mention the creator of the award and provide link as well
  5. Tell your readers 3 things about yourself
  6. You have to nominate 10-20 people
  7. Notify your nominees by commenting on their blog
  8. Ask your nominees any 5 questions of your choice; with one weird or funny question (specify)
  9. Share a link to your best post(s)

(For future nominees, you may use the above “rules” to comply on your award post)

I was nominated by Zheng Fan to do this Mystery Blogger Award. It’s such a pleasure to be nominated to something like this not because of the “award” or title itself (I’m basically clueless about these things) but because people thought of me to be part of this and that’s what matters most.

To Zheng Fan, we only interacted very little for the past days simply because I think we just found each other’s blogs very recently. Now that I kept reading what you write, I feel like (aside from regularly reading your stuff now) I found someone who I can relate to and someone I’d learn a lot of stuff from. Thank you for nominating me!

Answering your questions are fun and refreshing!

3 Things About Myself:

  1. As much as possible, I write not only to express my raw emotions but to help other people learn from my experiences.
  2. I have depression, anxiety and OCD. But that is not going to stop me from being successful. I have suicidal tendencies but I try to be as strong as I can!
  3. I love my mom and the rest of my family so much.

Wow, these 5 questions are so simple but so hard to answer! It took me a lot of minutes to get through these simple questions and I found myself weighing things like my life depended on it. Nonetheless, I found it enjoyable!

 

  1. Who is your one favourite public person (in the history of mankind)? Why?

Oh my god why is this so hard to answer? I don’t know a lot of public people, like I don’t know their advocacies and principles in life. I guess my favourite public person would be none other than, Oprah Winfrey. She went through hell and back but still managed to become a successful individual. She did not let her struggles get the best of her and that is very inspirational for me. It makes all my struggle easy to deal with by just knowing that people like Oprah fought their way to success even if it was so hard to do.

  1. What is your one favourite song? Why?

I have a lot of favourite songs and it’s hard to choose just one. But maybe, as of the moment, I’ll go with “Grace to Grace” by Hillsong United. If you haven’t heard of that song, listen to it especially when you feel like everything is fucking up. It helps so much!

 

  1. Define yourself in less than 15 words?

I am friendly online, very shy in real life.

 

  1. What is the one most important trait you look for in a partner?

Loving. When you are loving, everything follows. A loving person cares, when a person cares, they wouldn’t want to break your trust, they’d stay loyal and support you no matter what. When they love you, they’d tell you when you did something wrong so you can improve yourself and when you did something awesome, they’d appreciate it.

 

  1. What is life to you?

For me, life is an awesome adventure. The image of adventure to me is where you find purpose, learn that purpose, meet amazing people, learn a lot of lessons the hard and easy way, accepting defeat and standing tall after every fall. That for me is an adventure—and that’s how I see life.

My Nominees:

  1. Addie

2. Anaida

3. Fernanda

4. Kendall

5. Lu

6.  Bharath

7. Kate

8. Lorraine

9. Phoebe

10. Owning A Dog With Anxiety

 

My 5 questions:

  1. What is your advice to people going through a friendship breakout?
  2. What is your advice to those who are trying to figure out what they want to do with their lives?
  3. What is your life motto or mantra?
  4. What is the number one lesson in life you learned that you want to share to others.
  5. If you wish to visit any country what would it be and why?

 

My Best Post:

My best post would probably be this I Need Your Opinion, Please Not because of the content itself but for the support I got from you guys. ❤

How In The World Did I Find Friends In WordPress?!?

I have been blogging in and out since I was in high school. I always rant and talk about how my day went. Then in college, I started to blog about some of my thoughts that are not pure nonsensical but I was doing it for worthless things. I was writing about what people wanted to read, what’s the trend, I was trying so hard to reach out to an audience. I was all about the likes, comments and numbers of hits and followers! I was doing it all for nothingness and worthless crap.

Then last year, I started to blog here on wordpress. I decided to write about what I honestly think, my realizations, lessons, experiences and all that but the difference is that I was doing it for sheer passion, for helping others, for reaching out to other people while in the process of reaching out to myself. I wasn’t thinking about how many followers I would get, how many likes, how many response. I was just basically putting it out there! Sometimes, I would share my blog to people whom I think would need advice and honestly, I think I was being pathetic in the process but I wasn’t doing it for the blog hits! At least I was trying to help. LOL.

Then I don’t know what happened next. It all came too fast! People started following my blog like from all over the world (I make it sound like it’s a massive follow thing but it wasn’t. It’s just that I am finally being followed without me asking for it lol) so I started reading other people’s blogs and I felt like almost everyone if not all, are sharing a huge chunk of themselves! It was so intimate, personal and full of depth. Then I started commenting, liking and continuously reading post after post of these strangers until such time that I made a connection between them and then BAHM, I got friends overrrrr heeeere!!!!

It was a bit of surprise for me. When I was blogging back then, I knew a lot of people and we always talk in our comments section but after a while it all faded. Here, I don’t only talk to people through comments, I think of them even in the real world. LOL. I mean, I figured that I genuinely care about these then strangers turned to friends! I’d always pull up my wordpress and go to their blogs and read their updates.

THEN I HAD TO GO THROUGH SOME LIFE DRAMA OUT OF THE BLOGOSPHERE.

While I was going through shit, a lot of my friends that I met here showed me support. They were there even if I wasn’t asking for it. They were there even if I didn’t tell them I needed them. They showed me how much the genuinely care and I felt so loved. (This is so cheesy it almost made me gag at how dramatic I can be but whatever hahahaha)

It’s as if they always have my back!

And it did cheer me up. It’s something I would always be grateful for. Then on the process, I met new followers that I consider friends here on wordpress. The connection is just there. No trying hard messy small talks, no overdoing, no overthinking. It’s like everyone is so open minded, everyone is supporting everyone and that’s really something!

I feel like the friends I found here knows the real me more than I let other people in my life on a day to day basis. They know everything that runs in my head, they know my personal thoughts and what I like, what I don’t like. They know everything and still care for me!

So thank you. Thank you for being there for me when other turned their backs. Thank you for sincerely and genuinely caring for me. When I was on one of my suicidal thoughts episode, I even thought of you guys. Like how will you know if I am dead already, I wouldn’t want to not have said farewell! When something interesting happens to me, I want to write it so much so that you guys would know just as I am so interested in all the things going on in your lives hahaha.

Thank you for the friendship. I didn’t know it was possible but it is!!! I am glad I found true friends here. Seriously.

Thank you

Shout out to these amazing people I’ve met here that have been my constants. Truly grateful for you all.

https://thesyntaxofthingsblog.wordpress.com/

https://affectionatelyours.wordpress.com/

https://simplyfernanda.wordpress.com/

https://keys1988.com/

https://curiouspondering.wordpress.com/

https://coolpeppermint.wordpress.com/

https://beautybeyondbones.com/

https://ridiculousbharath.wordpress.com/

https://whenwomeninspire.com/

https://simplysaycheese.wordpress.com/

https://destinationenlightenment.com/

https://bequietkate.wordpress.com/

Welcome

https://anonymouslyautistic.net/

https://shereefiala.com/

Home

http://robertapimentel.com/

https://roadtoharmony.com/

https://mydearyellowworld.wordpress.com/

https://lushtivity.wordpress.com/

https://chanellehayleyyy.wordpress.com/

https://owningadogwithanxiety.wordpress.com/

https://antoniowestley.wordpress.com/

https://supersweetserendipityblog.wordpress.com/

https://beafreee.com/ https://simpleclaireity.wordpress.com/

https://quarterlifecrisis.net/

https://singlemomstand.wordpress.com/

Sorry, if I had to like do the insert link thing here, it would take me ages to finish. Or do you guys know a shortcut?

Well anyway, I just want to thank you all!

Real Talk, Pep Talk

Disclaimer: This is not intended to offend and bring you down. This is an encouragement in a different light.

I want to encourage people to be as strong as they can. To look at the bright side of things, to appreciate what they have instead of feeling bad for things they can’t have at that particular time.

There are a lot of clichés in this world and to tell you honestly, these clichés may not mean a thing to you but as awful as it is, clichés are true.

Whenever you feel bad about something, when you get bothered or stressed out, when you are hurt by things, events or people who may or may not be close to your heart—you can only cry so much. It’s okay to cry, it’s okay to feel bad but it’s not okay to feel bad for a long time. You have to make sure that you shrug it off your shoulders as soon as you can and this isn’t because you want to prove the world that you are strong and brave. You have to do it because in this world of cruelty, you have to see the greatness. The light. The amazing things. You have to be okay sooner than you think you should because life is short to sulk, too short to hate, too short to cry, too short to be angry!

We don’t have the luxury to live as if we can live forever. Life ends and we know it. We should always treasure life in a sense that we choose to see great things instead of the bad ones. We need to choose happiness instead of loneliness and we need to stay positive.

You see, the problem with people these days is that they feel like they’re so privileged and entitled to a lot of things. Like we think we deserve a lot of good things and cry when bad things happen. We fail to realize that most of the time; it isn’t about our feelings and ourselves. There are greater things in this world and when things do not happen as planned, when you get hurt, when you stay nice but receive rudeness, its’ the universe’s way of reminding you that you are not entitled. No one ever is.

You are not entitled to anything no matter how good of a person you are, no matter how nice you’ve been. The world will keep its pace and spin, the sun will continue to rise and set, night will come as days would and life goes fucking on no matter how badly you feel.

The universe can fck itself and the world will not crumble when you crumble. It doesn’t fucking care about how you feel. Life is like that, you don’t get to have the luxury of feeling so helpless because the only one that will suffer from repercussions of “being so helpless” is you and you alone.

Instead of wallowing on your pain, disappointments and frustrations, you have to stay strong. You have to accept that things happen as it happens and there’s so little you can do to turn it around. Instead, welcome these bad things and stay okay. Every shit that happens to you, could happen to anyone else. It’s not like you are cursed or something.

Get by, move on, move forward, let it go cause life goes on.