They Will Reveal Themselves

Remember, you don’t have to reveal how other people are. You don’t need to talk about how you see them, you don’t need to tell other people about their “true colors” because you know what? Eventually, they will reveal themselves.

I am a bad case of speaking my mind uncontrollably before. I share my pointless, petty opinions and what I think—mostly about other people’s habits and behaviour. I will tell person B about how person A is and then I end up being the bad guy (always) for speaking my mind when in reality, I just told the truth about how I see other people. I was so confused, baffled and I can’t even believe that they feel like I am destroying them when all I ever did was describe how I observed them. Maybe in the manner of how I said it and the intent as to why I said it is bothersome (before) but I realized soon enough that I should just keep my judgments to myself especially if it’s not important, because after all, I need not tell other people about how other people are because they will reveal themselves in the end.

So queber nalang. Kahit “totoo naman eh” diba? Ipapakilala nila kung sino sila talaga kasi wala pa akong kilalang plastic na napanindigan yung pag-babait baitan niya. Eventually, lalabas ang tunay na ugali nila for the whole world to see. Di ko kailangan i-justify sa ibang tao kung sino at anong klaseng tao talaga sila. Kasi pati sarili nila, kilala nila. ‘Wag na tayong maglokohan. 😉

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What About My OCD?

Since my diagnosis, like I said, everything fell into place. I understood myself better and it sort of calmed me in a way.

Let’s talk about my OCD journey.

I’ve had this ever since I was young and I feel like everyone in my immediate family knew. They did everything they could and tried to understand me every step of the way. Going back to all my not so fun quirks and rituals, my heart melts when I remember how my brothers, sister, mom would understand them as strange as they were. Thanks to my family for embracing all of me, my flaws and imperfections without a single doubt that I can be a better person, I can still be who I am and not be judged.

Here are some of the things that have confirmed my OCD (which I basically do not tell a lot of people but opening up now seems so helpful and useful not only for me but for others who may or may not have the same condition I do have)

  1. Before going to bed, I would realize something that I should have done like I suddenly felt the urge of washing my feet. Then I would tell myself that it’s not dirty and it doesn’t need extra washing. But then again, my mind would say GO WASH IT OR ELSE YOUR FAMILY WOULD DIE. So I would go and wash my feet just so my family wouldn’t die.
  2. I was trying to fill up a tub of water. So while waiting for it, I would do something else like wash my face etc. Then when I hear that the tub would be filled already, my brain automatically says something like YOU HAVE TO TURN THE FAUCET OFF NOW BECAUSE ONCE THE WATER SPILLS, YOU WILL GET PREGNANT AND DIE. So I would hurry the eff up and close the faucet like my life depended on it.
  3. I brush my teeth for a very long time until my gums bleed. This is because I feel like when I don’t see blood yet then it is not clean! So I have to brush and brush and brush until it bleeds.
  4. I have a particular set of spoon and fork at home that I use. Only I can use it and only if it was that particular set is to be used will I eat my meal. If not, I have to look for my own set or my family would.
  5. I have to knock 3 times all the time even if a bad thought came to my head. My brain tells me that if I don’t knock 3 times, my bad thoughts would come true.

Those are the only remarkable ones, I have a lot but most of the time, I would overcome it and outgrow them, until a new one develops.

Right now, I’m on the phase wherein I feel good about myself. I feel alive and enlightened. It’s as if I understand everything now. It’s a “EUREKA” moment for me. I know it would be hard but everyone close to my heart have made me feel secured, protected and understood. Not one in my family have shown distaste towards my condition and I feel like my family is enough. I wouldn’t ask the world to understand me, however I hope that one day, everyone would understand all the different conditions there is in the world. Everyone may be a little bit kinder, understanding and accepting of the uniqueness and individuality of others. I hope and I pray ❤

To The People Who Do Not Understand

Hi guys, I am writing this with a bursting heart because this is something that everyone should take account for, something everyone should at least try to understand.

You know the saying “You must be kind and understanding because everyone has a battle” sort of quote? I forgot the whole quotation but that’s the thought and you get it right? I am so close to bitching out because I was bewildered upon the knowledge that there are people who look at other people as “unpleasant”. STRAIGHT UP JUDGING WITHOUT KNOWING ME FIRST.

Has it ever occurred to people that everyone do not owe anyone an explanation? Like people do not need to justify why they are the way they are just because someone is actually different from them. Let’s go back to NOT JUDGING. I’m not even talking about my OCD here. I’m so concerned about as to how people can judge you very quickly by just the way you talk, the words you use, the way you walk, the way you blink, the way your eyes twitch, the way your lips curl, the way you laugh. It makes me rage so much that people can say a lot about you without even knowing who you are, where you came from, your family background, your culture, your education, your way of life?

I get it, not everyone can understand you, not everyone will understand as to why you are they way you are, but how can people judge you without even knowing you? I mean COME ON.

I’ve heard a lot of rumors about me, a lot of bad stuff. I am not even affected because I know myself (more so right now) but the mere fact that they can easily say a LOT about me already without even getting to know me in the first place crushes my heart.

I have OCD and this is not me admitting this just to justify my actions (but sort of.. lol)

But this is sort of an explanation, a point of clarity that people must know that there are certain battles and struggles everyone are facing. A little kindness and understanding goes a long way.

“She does not want her hair tie borrowed. What a bitch” they say, oh hey, because it is unhygienic and not having my hair tie on my wrist makes me feel anxious because I might need one just like how you’re needing it and asking me for my one and only hair tie.

“She needs a day’s notice just to clear her schedule? What a feeling VIP prick” they say, but only because I have already planned my day and I have laid out all my errands and stuff that people should respect because hello, I am not going to stop everything that I am doing because people feel like hanging out.

In a nutshell, when you keep your mouth shut everytime you don’t understand a certain behaviour, you’re actually saving yourself from being a judgmental ignorant person. Next time you saw a certain behaviour, think again BEFORE COMMENTING, BEFORE SAYING ANYTHING AT ALL.