Don’t Let What You See On Social Media Get You Jealous

Why you need to stop bothering and getting jealous over people who post their stuff and life over social media.

There’s nothing wrong with posting the things you want to appear on your social media sites. After all, we live and let live. I mean I don’t care about the humble brags and #Blessed, I don’t even roll my eyes on those posts (although I do so before) because for me, anyone can post anything they like as long as they’re not putting other people down, as long as they’re not hurting anybody. If you want to flaunt your stuff or post unnecessary statuses just so you could brag, then go ahead and do so. Haters gon’ hate and you shouldn’t care about them.

I think, the percentage of insecure and jealous people went up when social media started poppin’. At least that’s what I think. Hah!

So here’s why you shouldn’t get jealous over stuff posted online.

  1. Look at it this way, people will want to project their lives as seamless and almost perfect. I mean, some even do it for the sake of likes (papansin) that’s why you shouldn’t be jealous of how “perfect” other people’s lives are compared to yours. Not everything you see on a social media platform is what it is in real life.
  2. I admire travelling and in fact, I love seeing people I know (blog friends x real life friends) travel and post their beautiful photos online but never have I ever felt a pang of jealousy over travelling. I mean someday, I know I’ll go to places I’ve never been to and I wouldn’t throw a tantrum or feel insecure just cause I can’t go anywhere else as of the moment. It’s okay to be in awe pero yung mabaon sa utang just for the sake of likes? Wag na uy.
  3. What you see online is not the whole picture. It’s just what was filtered already. I remember when my (ex) friends and I went to Bolinao. It was one of the worse trips I have ever been to. Super tiring, uncomfy and just blah—but I loved it cause I enjoyed every bit of it with my (ex) friends. So when we posted the photos, we all looked so happy and jolly as if like we’re having the time of our lives on a fun vacation when in fact it was filled with so much hassle and nakakainit ulo feels! So you just get to see the tip of the iceberg diba? Akala mo ang saya saya kasi ang saya sa photos pero di mo alam may mga grudges pala na tinatago tapos nagpaplastikan lang pala kayo. CHAROT. (HUGOWWWT)

Pero going back, why am I saying this? It’s because I know a lot of people (in real life lels) that feel like they are missing out on a lot of things especially when they tell me “kainggit si ganto” etc etc. I mean, the stuff we see on social media is other people’s lives and experiences and you have your own life to create and enjoy diba. In a nutshell, we shouldn’t be jealous because there’s nothing at all to be jealous about anyway.

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What Your Big Sister Wants To Tell You

Here are the things your big sister wants to tell you and hopefully, you understand it and realize whatever you need to realize before it’s too late.

  1. Stop seeking comfort from other people. Friends and boyfriends/girlfriends.

There’s nothing wrong with telling your friends, boyfriends/girlfriends your problem. But turning against your family or choosing other people over your family is not good. I understand your teenage years are full of angst and irritation. “No one understands me” “My family is not there for me, they don’t understand me” you know those are not true.

  1. When you think you can fool us, you can’t. We just let you be.

You don’t get to fool us because before you go through that shit, we’ve been there, and have done that. “Papunta ka palang, pa-balik na kami. Nakailang balik balik na kami” so no, you ain’t fooling nobody.

  1. Education is so important. Don’t let the privilege you are given to go to waste.

Education especially here in the Philippines is a huge privilege. You don’t know how hard your parents and those who support you work just so they can give you the best education they can.

  1. Stop stressing yourself over small things and making a huge drama over it.

Life is much harder after school. Stay grounded, understand that life is not fair but people who love you try their hardest just so you can have a better life so why ya stressin’ over sh*t? After all, 10 years from now, these dramas wouldn’t even matter.

  1. Don’t be in a hurry to grow up.

You want to be an adult already? So you can just live your life the way you want to? Trust me, it’s not as fun and easy as it seems. One day you’ll look back and wish that you’d be in your kitchen at home with yo mama helping her wash the dishes instead of living the adult life.

  1. Learn to appreciate and be grateful of everything.

Your family and those who support you give you their everything, the least you can do is be grateful that they choose to love you and provide for you no matter how much of a prick you are.

  1. Don’t be jealous of the people around you.

So what if they have the latest gadgets, trendy clothes, branded stuff? That is not important nor it is the measurement of happiness. So stop looking at what others have and focus on what you have.

  1. Your mom and your sister should be your best friend.

There’s no one else in the world who will love you no matter but your mom and your family. The people who won’t judge you whether you fail or not. Those who will be there for you when no one else would be. Learn to love and treasure them before it’s too late, before their or your time runs out.

  1. Choose what’s right.

If it feels wrong and it goes against your beliefs and principles, do the right thing.

  1. Go after your dreams.

Go strive for that one thing you dream of doing. No one can stop you if you’re determined enough.

 

Life is short to waste it on crap, know what would help you, know what works for you. Your angsty teenage years will pass and all of this will be nothing but a memory so do what’s right for when you should look back, you’d have nothing but happy tears. You are young, enjoy it while it lasts and listen to your elders because it’s true, they want nothing but the best for you.

16 Things For a Better Life

In a lot of my rocky roads and tumble turns I have went through in my short 26 years of existence, I have learned a couple of things that may be helpful to some. This is also like a “note to self” thing so when I lose track of myself and the essence of everything, I can look back and see this.

15 Things that I have learned, been taught and realized–that may actually help others too!

  1. Your perception of what is right does not mean it is the only thing that’s right.
  • There are a few hundred more angles to look at things and you may find yourself in a situation wherein you know you are right but it’s not the only “right” thing in that situation.
  1. You cannot impose your beliefs and others cannot impose theirs on you.
  • You may have beliefs and principles you abide by but this doesn’t mean you can impose it on other people. The world is a vast and cruel place and people have different perceptions and beliefs on certain things. You can’t force each other to do what you do for your beliefs and the best you can do is educate yourself as to why some don’t support what you support and why some support what you don’t. (however, this is a tricky topic especially when it comes to social and political issues kaya wag na tayo mag-dwell masyado dito. Chos)
  1. Communication is the key.
  • If you want to resolve things with a co-worker, friends and family it is best to communicate with them rather than letting things go only to have them piled up. I have learned this in a hard way and part of what I changed was saying what I think and feel rather than keeping quiet only to bottle my feelings all up until I explode. It’s always a matter of how you say things and not what you actually said (given that your words are professional, civil and objective)
  1. Your feelings are not the only ones that matter.
  • There will be times that you would think your feelings matter the most and are important but needless to say, others’ feelings are equally important as yours.
  1. You don’t need to be cruel to make a point.
  • Need I say more? There’s always a work around in most circumstances.
  1. Doing mean things just because you feel like the other person “deserves” it anyway.
  • That’s what they did to me and I know how wrong it was. It almost killed me when they did so before you start doing something mean to other people, think about how you can almost kill a soul.
  1. You will regret not apologizing.
  • At some point, God or the universe will make you realize the wrong things you have done and you will regret for not apologizing. Maybe at some point you will think that you don’t need to apologize because “you have done nothing wrong” but in the long run, you’ll see and you’ll know.
  1. You will regret not forgiving those who have hurt you.
  • Forgiveness is a freedom and a gift you give yourself more than what you can give to those who have hurt you. If you don’t and can’t forgive, you are only trapping yourself inside a jar that refuses your growth and hinders the love you can give to yourself and other people.
  1. Always say “Please” and “Thank You”.
  • These things are appreciated and doesn’t even take a dollar to do so.
  1. Be there for your Family.
  • They are the ones who will be there for you FOREVER. People come and go but family won’t even if they want to kill you (metaphorically) No matter what happens “hindi mo yan kayang itapon at hindi ka kayang itapon niyan.” Be there and LOVE them wholeheartedly.
  1. Choose your friends.
  • Not everyone you meet will stick by your side through thick and thin. This is true and I have learned it the hard way guys. Kahit gaano pa kayo katagal mag-bestfriend niyan, you’ll never know kaya choose them wisely.
  1. Say what you mean and mean what you say.
  • It’s not that hard when you think about it. Masyado lang natin iniisip yung sasabihin kasi ng iba kaya laging nasusugarcoat or hindi na nasasabi at all.
  1. Bad days and Good days are not gonna stay that way for a long time.
  • So you better learn to cherish every moment whether it is good or bad.
  1. Appreciate what you have.
  • Count your OWN blessings, hindi yung naka-focus ka sa blessing ng iba.

15. It’s okay to be alone sometimes.

  • Alone time teaches you a lot of things.

16.Tell the people you love how much you love and appreciate them.

  • ‘Cause you’ll never when they’ll be gone.

 

I Have Learned To Say No and Stay Firm

I always felt the need to say yes, adjust to other people’s plans and just go with it because I hate having to say no. I feel like there’s less conflict when I just say yes and agree to everything people want me to do. But recently, I felt like I can’t be like this anymore.

This all began when I realized that it’s best to say something about what you truly feel and think rather than letting it float. I wrote about it *HERE* and after that realization, I just went with it.

I guess it’s because all my conflicts within myself are connected and rooted to each other. Like I don’t say no all too often because:

  1. I don’t want other people to think I am not reliable.
  2. I don’t want them to feel like I’m not there for them when they need me.
  3. I don’t want them to feel like I don’t think about their feelings ?

But this time, I let whatever happens, happen. I mean truthfully, those weren’t my intentions whether I say yes or no. Like if I don’t agree about something, it’s not as if I am not agreeing just so I could hurt their feelings and not be with them when they *need* me.

  1. I just grew tired of having to adjust to every single thing everyone wants. They never do that for me and no I am not taking it against them but fuck it.
  2. When I can’t, I can’t. I wouldn’t say yes and force myself to do something that I am not willing to do just because I was trying to avoid conflict. People who want to understand will understand. Those who choose to judge and think about other stuff than what’s real are even more not worthy at all of my time and effort adjusting with their plans and whatnot.
  3. I don’t make excuses now that I am 26. If I say yes I’ll be there, I’ll be there. If I can’t, then I’ll say so and I’ll tell you why.
  4. I have work and I can’t just adjust to whatever people plan to do that’s convenient for them. If convenience is not mutual, then I’m not for it. I also have a life to live and I wouldn’t compromise comfort just because it’s comfortable for you. I’ve done that so many times and I will stop already.
  5. I’m at the point of my life wherein I no longer want to force myself into doing and saying anything that I don’t want to. If I couldn’t do it, then I won’t and let’s not take it personally.

That last part though, I’m still trying to do it—the not taking things personally. Because I for one, can take a lot of things quite personally more often than I should so I shall really try to stop myself from doing it hahahah.

What Adulting Taught Me (so far)

  1. Your True Friends Can Only Be Counted in One Hand. You’re lucky if you has as much as 10.
  • I did have a lot of friends before I turned 26. I have a handful and I can’t even count them. I am trusting and I feel like everyone is my friend. I consider everyone as my friend and that’s one of the biggest mistakes I have ever done in my entire existence. We can have acquaintances, colleagues, hi-hello friends, hangout friends but the trustworthy ones, those who will stand by you no matter how undeserving you are, those who will be by your side no matter what are hard to find. You will meet a lot of people but the ones you can actually depend on, the friends who will be there when shit goes down, they aren’t too many. Treasure them and love them.

  1. Forgiving is Easier Than Hating
  • This isn’t one of the “easier said than done” because in reality, forgiving someone is easier than focusing on hating them. When you forgive them, you allow yourself to heal. To get away from the hate that will eat you alive. Hating use so much energy. You don’t want to waste your energy on people who don’t deserve it right? Mga besh, mahirap siguro magpatawad pero once na nakapagdecide ka na papatawarin mo na sila, mas makakamove on ka. Mas mahirap yung galit ka tapos sila nakamove on na. O baka ako lang yung may ganitong idea at pa-epek?

  1. The only person who will stick with you no matter what, the only one who you can depend on 24/7 is no other than YOURSELF.
  • Sure you have your family, friends, loved ones, boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife. Sure they will be there for you no matter what, they will cross the oceans for you, move mountains, face problems etc but day in and day out? From complicated stuff to simple decision making, you don’t have anyone else but yourself. I don’t mean to sound too depressive or something but this is true. Hindi sa lahat ng oras nandiyan ang mga taong handing sumuporta at umalalay sayo. Nandiyan sila oo, hindi ka nila iiwan pero sino ba yung forever na kasama mo hanggang sa mamatay ka? Which is why it is important to take good care of yourself– physically, emotionally and mentally. Kasi diba? Kahit wag na sa mga complicated na bagay eh. Sino ba naghuhugas ng pwet mo? Ibang tao ba? Sino nagpapakain sayo, sino nagsusubo ng kutsara sa bibig mo? Literal na no pero gets mo yung point ko? Tsaka eto, kagaya nalang ng pag-cocommute ko papuntang Sofitel bukas. Wala akong maaasahan sa ibang tao not because they are not willing to help me, pero may mga bagay na hindi kasi pwede sa ngayon. 1. Si tatay coding ang sasakyan. 2. Si Azul nasa casa. 3. Hindi ako mahahatid ni kuya gawa ng nasa casa din si Bruno tapos si Scarlet gagamitin nila ng maaga bukas. DIBA? So paano ako? Kailangan ma-suportahan ko sarili ko haha. Simpleng bagay lang yan pero dibaaaa.

  1. The Bills Ain’t Gon’ Pay Themselves
  • No matter how much I want to travel the world do and buy unnecessary things, the bills ain’t gonna pay themselves. At the age of 25 I have to send my sister to school because my mom is getting older and the BPO industry is definitely not for her at the age of almost 54. After working in UAE for 10 years, my mom deserves a break and the least I can do is to send my younger sister to school para kahit papaano naman, makabawas sa burden ng mama ko. So I need to work hard and pay the bills, hindi ako pwedeng patravel travel lang o pa-shopping shopping.

  1. Social Media Is More of a “Break” than “Make”
  • For me, too much social media is toxic. I have nothing against people who wants their instagram accounts to be aesthetically pleasing #feedGoals but if you’re only posting stuff and “doing it for the gram” I don’t think it’s healthy. I’ve been through that. I wanted to travel so that I can take photos and post it on my social media accounts and garner so many likes but I realized that it wasn’t healthy anymore especially when I started growing envious of other people’s life looking through their social media accounts. I decided to lay low, I even deactivated my Facebook account and created a different one wherein I would filter my friends. I also stopped wanting an aesthetically pleasing instagram feed. Here on my blog, I wrote truthfully and wholeheartedly. No BS whatsoever. Social Media (especially instagram) is not for me.

  1. Choose Your Battles
  • I was once someone who wanted to get my point across. I always wanted to justify myself and my actions because I want people to understand why I did such a thing or why I said something. I want everyone to know my cause and I realized that it’s not healthy. It drains me mentally and emotionally. It’s annoying! I always end up on the loose end of the rope and I don’t feel any better when people understood my point or what I was trying to say or do. It doesn’t do me any good so why the hell do I bother. I learned to choose my battles. Not everything needs my energy and emotions. I don’t need to have my point across. I learned to know what’s worth it and what wasn’t.

What’s fun in adulting is realizing a lot of things and wishing you knew it before lol.

Who Do You Need To Ignore

Kebs and Wapakels (the art of ignoring or not caring at all)

A guide on how you control yourself in caring about unnecessary things aka those that are not worth a second of your time.

  1. Chismoso and Chismosa – a Filipino slang that can be a noun or adjective, but I’ll use it as a noun (depends on how you use it) pertaining to people who always talk about other people’s whereabouts.

These people do not deserve your time and energy. They are also not worth your emotions so before you react when you learn someone is being a chismoso/chismosa, stop and think. Remember that these people are a.)the ones who do not have anything better to do with their lives. b.) uneducated ones that are not taught to stop talking about other people and their whereabouts because it’s none of their business.

What you need to do: Ignore them. There’s no point in confrontation. What they say about you is none of your business.

  1. That Person Who Hates Your Guts – someone who has a bad blood for you. You know that nagging feeling when you know someone doesn’t like you even if you are not doing anything?

These people is not even worth an ounce of your time. Don’t waste your day away thinking about why they don’t like you. Don’t ever think how you can please them. Never. Just do your thing, be a good person, be civil with them if you ever need to be in the same room with them but never ever think of ways on how you can please them. You don’t need to please people, especially the ones who don’t even like you in the first place.

What you need to do: If you suspect that people do not like you for a certain attitude you have and it’s a negative thing, then try to change it. But if there’s nothing wrong talaga, then chill. Sit back and care less for these people.

  1. That Person Who Is Always Rude To You – someone who is always either sarcastic or rude kahit wala na sa lugar.

These people may think of themselves as funny and popular and powerful but rudeness has never been cute nor funny.

What you need to do: tell them to stop being rude. Call their attention. If you don’t want that, you can simply ignore them. Don’t let them get into your nerves, don’t give them attention.

 

Not wasting your time caring about what other people say can really help you live a happy life. All the nega stuff can be so much of a burden and we don’t have room for that anymore. Kebs lang, ignore, ‘wag pansinin.

A Letter To My Depressed-Self 4 Months Ago

In your 26 years of existence, you didn’t see this coming. You didn’t see that the people you love dearly—whom you have called best friends for many many years, would turn their backs against you. There was this confrontation but you were the only bad guy. No one owned up to their mistakes, no one even saw the bad things they did, they think what they did weren’t comparable to whatever you did. For a time, you will think that you are the worst person in the world but fret not because sooner, you’ll realize everything.

For a long time you carried yourself after that crazy experience ever so heavily. You let yourself be dragged on to this drama and you cried as much as you had to—but surprisingly, tears weren’t shed that long, not much. Not much as you expected.

You didn’t know it yet but you will be stronger. You will find all your broken pieces, even the ones that went missing for a long time. You will patch yourself together without depending on other people. Yes, your family, remaining friends and Kyx were there for you but the only person who can patch you up and piece you back altogether is you and you alone.

Though you think it’s tough, you will eventually be fine. You will be able to move on and be okay. You will forget all the pain and hurt they have caused you. More than that, you will forgive them with all of your heart. You will be able to accept that you have been kicked out of the group you once help build. You will let go of the betrayal and you will stop asking why. Maybe you don’t know how soon but it will be okay, you will be okay.

When your dark clouds left, your days will be brighter and you’ll see the sunshine again even if it was raining. As you see the brightness of the day, you’d realize how much bigger the world is and how small you made it for yourself. Your horizon would be wider and you will realize everything. You will acknowledge the mistakes you did, the darkness you have spread but you will realize how worthy of love and kindness you are. You will stop blaming yourself for everything and you will stand again.

As you are walking towards recovery, you will look depression in the eye and you’ll say ‘fuck off’. You know that it’s still lingering but you’ll realize you’re too blessed to focus on it.

But in those days, the most important thing that happened is the growth. You will learn a lot through this and you will love and appreciate everyone who have stuck with you no matter what. Especially your mom.

Yes you may have done a lot of mistakes, but these mistakes are forgivable ones. Yes you may have cried, but you’ll realize eventually that you’re crying for blessings.

You will be okay. Fine. Better—even. Just trust yourself. No matter what.