“The Only Difference Between Your Opinion and Pizza is that I Actually Asked for Pizza”

How many times did we let other people’s unsolicited advice get on our nerves? How many times did we let it slip and slide because, well, we don’t like offending other people.

But you know what, if someone does something you don’t like, something rude or uncalled for, tell them off instantly. Of course, be respectful but be frim and truthful.

Just like yesterday, someone commented that I eat too little rice and another one chimed that maybe because I was on a diet. They’re talking about me on the 3rd person perspective as If I wasn’t there, they weren’t my close friends but they’re not doing it to bash me. They’re just thinking out loud and I understand that. However, you can’t go commenting about other people especially if their opinion is not being asked for. I wasn’t entirely THAT offended because it was true! I don’t eat a lot of rice because I am trying my best to live a healthy lifestyle no matter how hard it is and I don’t need people commenting about it especially that we are not even close. I laughed but I said in all honesty “someone asked your opinion?” I was smiling and they were laughing like it was a joke. But I said it because that’s the truth! I didn’t ask what they think, I didn’t ask for their opinions. Totoo naman eh, eh sa hindi ko naman talaga hinihingi ang mga opinyon nila eh?

And that my friends is how I was still perceived as the masungit, speaking her mind biatch.

I don’t care because as far as I am concerned, I am done taking crap from other people.


Making It a Habit

I’m making it a habit of asking myself “what is this teaching me?” before I react negatively. It helps me a lot especially in trying times!! I didn’t realize before how much stress I put into myself just because I’m too snappy and I react easily. Kainis.

There’s this person that I get to see almost daily and he’s very different from before. He was so welcoming, friendly, sweet and caring but things changed and I don’t know why, maybe there are a lot of factors, maybe I did something that annoyed him, maybe there’s something more than that that I know nothing about. In short, I am clueless as to why he is acting up like that. I tried so hard to analyze it over and over again until I realized I was stressing myself and overthinking things.

  • First off, I am not guilty of anything so why should I bother?
  • Well I bother because I’m that kind of person, right? LOL.
  • He doesn’t make steps to confront me or anyone else if there’s an issue because obviously, there’s an issue and he doesn’t seem to want to address it. So be it. I won’t be the one to address it simply because I didn’t do anything wrong for him to act the way he does. Hah!

So about 3 weeks ago, I was very bothered by his behaviour. Yung hindi namamansin effect? Yung yes or no lang and doesn’t look at me or my sister. He’s been like that for a long time now and idk why so I feel bad that he’s doing that to me and my sister. So what I did was I tried convincing myself that maybe he’s just busy with work, he’s doing a lot of things and di ko na siya magawang ng excuse (LOL ANU NA)

Last night, he wasn’t feeling well so I asked him if he’s okay, he said he’s not okay but he didn’t look at me. I feel like crap to be honest hah! Pero wala talaga akong ginawa sa kanya sooo hahahaha

I asked myself again, what is this teaching me? Why is this person treating me like crap after everything? Why is this person being mean and terrible to me when I am not doing anything? Bigla nalang? If I did something wrong, why not tell me instead of giving me a cold shoulder? Why is this person making me feel like I’m not worth his time and love anymore?

The only answer I could come up with is “Your attitude towards me and the people around us is teaching me to NOT be like that” hahahahaha.

If someone is mean to us, instead of firing back why not let it teach you to be someone better? Diba? If someone is being terrible, it’s saying that we shouldn’t be like that. Just imagine if we were as terrible diba, think about how others would feel if you are THAT terrible.

Do I make sense or di ko siya maexplain? I feel like I need to put a lot of thought before I publish this pero ang plastic ko naman ahahaha.

If that kind of attitude makes us feel like shit, what if we were the one giving that kind of attitude to others? They will feel shitty too, right? So yeah, I feel like it’s teaching me to be the better person here. HEHEHEH. (hindi si Kyx yan I swear hahaha just saying haha)

What Is This Teaching Me?

One of the things that makes a stressful thing even more stressful is the fact that we forget to understand, reflect and ask “what is this teaching me?” Instead, we focus on what stresses us and create more stress by thinking about it instead of actually finding a solution for it.

Earlier today, I was creating a budget strategy and/or budget plan. I am panicking (just a little bit) because I have to pay my sister’s tuition fee and start saving up for next year’s enrolment. This isn’t the first time that I am writing and whining and complaining about it because education is so expensive. As in bakit ba ang mahal ng tuition fee dito?! Why are schools so expensive, why not create an affordable learning system that is of quality and high standards? NKKLK.

So anyway, as the months on my list progress, I feel more and more burdened. Questions like why am I even the one taking the responsibility to pay for my sister’s tuition fee when she has a father very much able to work for her education? Will I be doing this forever? Why am I doing this anyway? Then I felt like everyone is being unfair, why are they not helping me? Mas marami pa nga silang mga pera kaysa sa akin pero bakit ako? As I think of these (negative) thoughts, I suddenly remembered to ask What is this teaching me? Nahimasmasan ako ng slight.

I think that I go on and on and on burdening myself with these thoughts when in fact, I should stop and reflect to calm myself down instead of allowing negativity to rule over my head.

I realized that all these tuition fee problems I am having are not even a problem to begin with. Instead of looking at it negatively, I should see what is it that I can gain from this episode in my life and how I’ll be improving myself moving forward.

I think that it’s teaching me more on how to be selfless. Selflessness is the key to pure love and pure love is the key to all things that is good. Walang sense sinabi ko pero whatever hahaha. Aside from that, it’s teaching me to be more loving and understanding of the people around me. It is teaching me kindness. It is teaching me to be more grateful that I have the means to be able to pay for my sister’s education and that I’m not in debt or helpless. It is teaching me to trust more because God has reasons as to why I am experiencing these things.

I realized how much I let negative things and thoughts consume me when I can just easily turn around and look at the bright side of things. Hay naku.

Top 10 Things I’ve Learned from My Mother

Almost everyone I know (if not every single one) look up to their moms and think of their moms as the best one ever. That goes for me as well; I look up to my mom and I think she’s the best in the whole wide world. The best mom for someone like me and that’s what matters the most. I have shared a lot of stuff about her and how strong of a person she is so to put her on a different light, I’d write about the 10 things I’ve learned from her.

  1. Letting go is hard but clinging on to something that is toxic, unhealthy and is good for nothing will be a lot harder in the long run.
  • I have faced so many challenges in my 26 years of existence that require letting go. It was hard for me but I understood that it could be a lot harder if you hold on to things, people and memories that are not healthy for your mental, emotional and spiritual health.
  1. Believing in God and having faith is very essential. But hearing mass on a regular basis doesn’t necessarily mean you are a good person already and not hearing mass regularly doesn’t mean you’re a bad person.
  • There are so many things the society dictates when it comes to faith but my mom made sure that we understood faith on a deeper level. Not just by hearing mass and praying.
  1. Love your family.
  • My mom inculcated in us that we be family oriented individuals. Family sticks forever and no matter what happens “hindi mo kayang itapon yan” so you just have to continue loving each other despite the misunderstandings, differences and whatnot.
  1. Education is very important. It’s a treasure that no one can take away from you.
  • In parental sermons we hear the phrases “iyan lang ang kayamanan na hindi maaagaw nino man” and that is true!
  1. Always look at the bright side.
  • Despite everything, in the midst of trials and storms, there’s always something to be grateful for. There’s always a bright side in everything and you just have to go find it.
  1. Know your priorities.
  • As simple as that. Knowing what should come first and knowing what can wait.
  1. Know your worth.
  • Don’t allow yourself to be treated like trash. You’re more than that.
  1. Moms always wants what’s best for you.
  • At least for my mom, she just doesn’t say that for the heck of it but she does because she really do wants what’s best for her children and you must believe that! Heh
  1. She knows everything.
  • There’s no point in lying. Really.
  1. She’s always right.
  • Whatever you have to say, there’s always loopholes because you’re not as wise as your mom. Lels.

You’re the best mama in the world and you made sure that you secure your children and give them the best that life has to offer. I’m grateful every single day and I wish I could give everything you deserve tenfold because no one would be here, I wouldn’t be here where I am right now if not for you and I want you to know that I know it. I love you mom. Happy Birthday!

Let It Go, Let It Gooooo

Idk if it’s just me or being an INFJ has something to do with my hunt for reasons and meaning. It actually benefits me by giving me the peace of mind when I finally find answers to my questions but I realized that it’s unhealthy. It gives me the anxiety, it makes me overthink, it makes me worry about things I shouldn’t even think about in the first place!

My brother Altheo once told me over a cup of coffee that not everything has a meaning, not everything needs a reason behind it and sometimes we just have to let things be the way it is. Hindi lahat may rason, may eksplanasyon, may ibig sabihin. I was just asking him about the meaning of my favourite song called Soon by Moonpools and Caterpillars. (Listen to the song. They’re a Fil-Am band from the 90s’)

I found it hard to understand. Until now I feel so attacked (HAHAHA MAGAMIT KO LANG YUNG ‘ATTACKED’) and conflicted with the fact that maybe my brother is right, maybe we put meaning and find reasons on things when we should just let it be (?) I live for reasons and meanings and all that crap so how the hell can things be just as it is? How can a “hello” just be a hello without a meaning attached to it? How does the song Soon with lyrics such as “then one day soon it’s gonna happen to you and when it does, it won’t be pretty” could be meaningless? How can it be just a song without a story behind it? I can’t quite piece it for my own good but you see, maybe that’s life.

Maybe we should just freaking stop putting meaning and finding reasons, maybe we should be able to learn to let go and leave things the way it is?

Being Reactive

For a long time, I am a reactive person, a patola and someone who can’t let things go very easily. In short, hindi talaga ako madaling makamove on from simple yet irritating things. A side comment can drive me nuts and push me over the edge. I get so worked up on trivial things and pour my energy, stress myself more than I should and even if I keep realizing how wrong this is, how I should control myself, my temper and the way I react over things—I keep going back to the cycle. The cycle wherein I can’t allow people to trample over my point and to have my point across all the freaking time. Aside from this is very stressful, it’s also tad bit toxic!

So when I came across what Marts have written, I was again, back to realizing things.

Like how to change my way of living when it comes to reacting, controlling myself and strengthening my walls. I remind myself on a daily basis to keep my walls up and strong! Though easier said than done, with lots of practice, I think I can do it.

I also realized na mas okay palampasin ang mga bagay na wala namang bearing sa ating kaunlaran at pagkatao. That’s why I look up to my mom and Kyx so much when it comes to these things. Sila yung mga taong kilala kong hindi agad natitibag ang mga walls. They can keep calm when everything is turning upside down. Hindi sila mabilis matrigger ng mga shit sa mundo. Mga bagay na nakakaasar. They don’t even waste their time and energy on things so trivial. They shrug it off and go on with their lives, ganyan sila. I wish I can be like that also. Yung walang masyadong hanash.

Stop Saying That

I don’t know but, well, people keep saying “I’ll be there for you no matter what” but then when the “no matter what” point comes, they’re gone.

This is the “no matter what” already, where are you?

Stop saying shit you can’t stand for.