There are people who have been part of our lives for a very long time that letting go of them is so hard. You shared so many memories together, imagine all the inside jokes you have, the foundation you built. Then all of a sudden, it comes crumbling down as if there was no foundation at all to begin with.
In letting go, you’re actually doing yourself a favour. And no, letting go does not happen when you want it to happen, at least not in my case. Because no matter how hard I tried to let go of the people I have loved for a long time, who became part of my life for as long as I can remember, I was not able to do it in a single snap. It took me a full year to finally let them go and move on!! It was so hard. It was unimaginable. I didn’t even think I would be able to do it!
Here’s what I did in the process on the latter months before I finally moved on:
- I tried focusing on myself, on the people who stayed with me despite everything. I realized that if I always think about them and how much I miss them, there’s no way I can move on from them and the things they did to me.
- I felt that I am the only one looking for closure, finding comfort on forgiveness and healing because they moved on long before I did. So I stopped wanting to be in “okay” terms with them.
- I acknowledged their presence but I pretended that they never existed in my life so that I wouldn’t miss them anymore. Idk if it sounded as bad as when I was writing this but don’t get me wrong, I know they are alive and existing. It’s just that coping with what happened is excruciatingly painful and hard for me thus the decision of erasing them in my life (because basically, that’s what they actually did to me)
- I started enjoying things alone that I used to enjoy with them. I mean there’s a lot of people I can still hangout with and enjoy things but I have learned to enjoy my solitude and that’s a huge help for me. I guess you have to enjoy being alone sometimes anyway.
- I prayed so much for healing but I also took action. I tended to myself. I acknowledged what I am feeling. When I’m sad, I don’t just shrug it off. Instead, I listen to what my emotions are telling me but I don’t sulk for too long.
- I stopped wondering what they’re doing. Instead, I did what I needed to do, I did what I wanted to do.
Letting go is hard but clinging on to memories and the past will be harder. It doesn’t do you any good, it only makes you miserable (and pathetic) I got tired of being pathetic so maybe one day, when you try letting go of people who are not healthy for you, you’ll realize “I don’t want to be pathetic anymore” so off you go diba? Keri?