Ever “hated someone for no reason”?

Disclaimer: This is with regards my own experience and realizations. It may be different from other people at some circumstances so it’s all good.

I realized lately that “hating someone for no reason at all” is partly impossible and immature. We all felt irritated at someone because… because… because we don’t have enough reasons to do this so we let it fly by and just say stuff like “I hate that person and I don’t even know why”.

We definitely have a reason, it’s just too petty to admit or we’re too embarrassed as to why the unnecessary hate right? And let me clarify “hate” is such a strong word I know, and this shall not be taken lightly but.. this is just in terms of the expression (and my working title) (also why am I even explaining with sub texts and thought bubbles. Lol)

The bottom line here is that we don’t like someone because we judge based on the first glance, first experience, first impression. We don’t make an effort to know the person well enough before we even judge them.

I talked to my brother about this, I told him that I have disliked a certain person for no reason and I couldn’t accept that fact so what I did was I tried to get to know that person first. I felt so mature after this! HA HA HA HAHAHAHAH LOL. But seriously, I felt like a responsible adult. I quit judging and I made an effort to know that person first before settling which emotion I should throw next. Now, I am happy that I earned new friends.

You see, I have transitioned from “I hate you for no reason at all” to someone like “I am not sure if I like or don’t like you so let’s see how this goes”. Have you ever been in this position? Have you ever disliked someone so much and changed your emotions afterwards? This is like a breath of fresh air for me. I am changing so much and I feel like I am being a better person one day at a time. I don’t even notice this! I even felt being angsty, like “I love myself for who I am and therefore I shall never change my ways” then something happened, now I am more welcoming to the changes, I am more accepting and I am more than I was before.

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Dwelling in The Past

In some cases, we really never forget about a lot of things especially if it has made a big impact on our lives emotionally, spiritually and mentally. It’s okay to never forget, to remember everything because in this process, you learn. However, dwelling is a different thing.

When you dwell in the past, it’s as if it’s not in the past just yet. It seems like you’re living with it right at this very moment which in reality, hurts and sucks big time. I am not just talking about bad things, this goes for the good ones as well.

You see, if for example you never got over how someone have hurt you and did you wrong, your heart will be filled with bitterness and you carry this burden for as long as you want. You’re not even benefitting from it because you’re not letting it go. You’re making it even harder for yourself because you never let yourself move forward.

Same thing goes for not letting go of that happy memory. I am not saying you should forget that. It’s great to keep it in your memory bank because then you’ll have something to smile at when you look back. But if for example, you have lived a beautiful and rich life then all of a sudden everything fell apart. Instead of you—moving and trying to adapt to your new state of life, you hold on so much to how you used to be, you live in the fantasy that you can still afford a certain thing (because you can totally afford it back then) but now that everything has changed, you have to be resilient and you have to go with the flow of life.

Dwelling in the past can do nothing good to you. It will only play with your heart and mind. It’s like living in a fantasy, in a sweet yet bitter lie. You just have to let go of it and move forward. You have to learn, you have to grow. You have to free yourself from all these.

Avoid Talking Behind People’s Back

Everyone hates this but I know, everyone does this. It’s not always a bad thing but it could get ugly and bad sometimes so for the record, it’s always best to break a habit before it gets bad. I mean it’s not really a bad thing when you need to tell someone about somebody just cause you need to vent but if you keep on talking behind people’s back that it becomes a habit, it needs to be stopped.

You see it starts from a little rant until you start to enjoy doing it. When someone listens to you and you feel like it’s sort of your mission to keep everything juicy that’s how it gets bad.

So before talking to someone about someone else, make sure you really need to vent out, make sure it’s for a valid reason, for an important cause and not because you wanted the attention, not because you feel brilliant.

It’s so easy to develop this habit because everyone does this. Everyone talks about everyone else and it’s normal, but when you talk about someone and comment something rude or bad about them, it becomes ugly.

As much as possible, before opening your mouth and before commenting about someone else, think if this will matter in 5 years or longer, if not, then it’s not worth it.

Kyx’s Mini Surprise!

Let’s talk about light, simple and happy thoughts.

I did say that I surprised Kyx on his birthday didn’t I? If I haven’t, then let’s talk about it.

Tuesday, July 26, I suddenly thought that the only gift I could ever give Kyx is to give him a mini surprise celebration. Reason(s) being:

  1. Kyx is very particular when it comes to color, design and style. So it would be stupid of me to get him clothes, shoes or pants because he might not like it as much as he should.
  2. He doesn’t celebrate his birthday like a normal person. He’s very simple and simple things make him happy, that is why, I felt like he deserves to have a mini celebration.

So I thought of giving him a mini surprise celebration last Saturday (July 30, 2016) though his birthday is really on the 1st of August. So 4 days before the planned mini celeb, I texted our close friends and we fixed a couple of stuff. I told Kyx’s parents and we prepared for the surprise thingy. Friday night came and Kyx was asking me why I was always on my phone. Someone messaged me and he grabbed my phone and wanted to look at it. I was arguing and grabbing my phone back like my life depended on it! He got mad at me and he asked me why I seem to be hiding something from him. By this time I was so nervous because I feel like someone from the surprise team is asking me a question or texting me or whatever so I am afraid Kyx would find out about the surprise! So even if he will get mad, I needed to grab my phone back from him. He told me it seems impossible but he feels like maybe some other guy is texting me. I burst out laughing. I was so relieved that he didn’t think I was planning a surprise.

Fast forward to the surprise day!

After work, I was talking to Kyx about needing to buy a cake for my niece and some liquor for my brother’s send-off party. He obliged happily and I was so relieved! We were able to buy liquor and cake and I ordered sushi and California maki, asked them to deliver it to the house by 5pm, my friends bought the pizza that Kyx wanted. By 6pm, Kyx told me he needs to play DOTA 2 and I was so alarmed because our friends are still stuck in traffic! I asked Kyx’s family that we should surprise him now or he will be playing DOTA 2 the whole night! So we surprised him and by 7pm, our friends arrived. We played UNO, ate good food, drank and talked about everything we could!

It was a fun mini surprise and I wish I was able to plan it thoroughly cause it could have been better but nonetheless, it was good that our friends, even if their houses are so far away from ours, they willingly celebrated Kyx’s birthday!

I will be posting pictures in a bit! ❤

 

 (Apparently I have accidentally pasted the article I was finishing for work. So if you have read an article about a supplement, yeah.. That was it hahaha)

When you like someone to be your friend but they ignore you or plainly don’t want anything to do with you, what would you do?

When you like someone to be your friend but they ignore you or plainly don’t want anything to do with you, what would you do?

This seems like a preschool or primary school problem but these sort of things happen even as you get older. I am naturally an amicable person. When I was young, I love to make friends no matter how they look, what their race are, no matter what language they speak. I protect my friends from bullies and even try to befriend the bullies because I feel like everyone is really a good person and that no one is supposed to feel left out. I hate feeling out of place, I hate being left out that’s why I want everyone to be happy around each other. But you know, life can’t always be manageable and the world is not always a happy friendly place.

I have experienced being out of place or left out, I experienced wanting people to be my friend but they don’t seem to reciprocate that feeling. When I was a teenager, I felt the need to always belong. I cared so much about belongingness and all that crap which lead me to all my insecurities. I have overcame some and I am still battling a couple more but I guess I am learning. I know that as much as I like to please everyone, I would fail at it because not everyone will like you even if you’ve been nice to them. Not everyone will appreciate your kindness and not everyone will want you as their friend.

When I turned 22 (I think) that’s the time I realized that I have a lot of friends and that I shouldn’t worry about the people who didn’t want to be friends with me. If they don’t want to be my friend, I realized it’s not meant to be. It’s a little harsh to say that “it’s their loss” but maybe that’s really how it should be. I found a lot of other friends who appreciate me and want me for who I am, whom I don’t need to make extra effort just to please them.

Every once in a while, I still get sad and think about what I did wrong to deserve this, what’s possibly wrong with me but I came to the realization that these people are not meant to be in my life if they treat me like crap. If they don’t want to be in my life, then that’s fine. I shall accept the fact that not everyone is meant to be part of some people’s life.

Then all the other clichés must come to the picture, if people are meant to be, then they would meet and be part of each other’s lives. If not, then you just gotta let it go.

There are people whom we want to be part of our lives but they simply do not want to be part of ours. If that’s the case and the likeness is not reciprocated, it is then time to move on. Just like how lovers go or end relationships right? The bright side is that there are other people who see your value, who want to be in your life, who wishes for you to stay in their lives for as long as eternity, who appreciate your soul and existence.

I think people whom you want to be your friend but they don’t want to be your friend is good to exist. This makes you appreciate the people who appreciate you no matter what. The people who doesn’t like to be your friend exists so that you can love those who want to be your friend, so you can love yourself more. They teach you life lessons you don’t even notice. Instead of questioning your value as a person, appreciate yourself more.

 

Wasting my Time, Energy and Effort

Do not waste anything for the wrong reasons.

I am guilty of wasting my time, energy, effort on things that do not matter. I want to live a happy life without obsessing over trivial things, without being too affected but I end up acting the way I shouldn’t. I try to work on these things and live up to my true values but it’s hard to keep myself in track.

I used to not care about stupid things, about dumb petty issues, now I don’t know why I obsess over these things. It doesn’t even make me happy or give me any benefit!

I guess I am struggling to find peace and happiness with myself. I have a lot of issues which I shouldn’t dwell on, I shouldn’t weigh a lot of things, I shouldn’t look for things that will only make me feel sad and disappointed. I get frustrated with a lot of simple things, I complicate things and most especially I hate myself for doing just every little thing I did (am doing) because I know how wrong it is.

Okay, this is so confusing right? But just look at it this way.

I know I am not supposed to obsess over small things, I know I am not supposed to complicate everything and I must try to be happy at all times, I shouldn’t be jealous and all that but I still do it even if I know I must not!

When I evaluate my life, I see someone who is happy but never contented. I see someone who excels in things she wants to excel with but it doesn’t seem enough for her. I see someone who wants peace but doesn’t find it within herself. I see someone who knows how blessed she is but still looks at the bad things and waste her time lamenting over these things.

I need to change. I know I do.

Difference

Understanding the differences of everyone else sounds so simple and easy but so complicated and hard to do. It’s one of the most divine things that when you learn to do, you will be free, happier and contented.

You see, everyone knows that everyone is different from each other yet everyone fails to accept this fact. Everyone fails to look further, to appreciate one’s self because everyone is so full of comparing and shit.

I am 25 years old already but I admit I haven’t even mastered the art of understanding everyone’s differences. I mean, I respect different views and opinions but it gets to me when the nature of a man is where I would usually find myself—being disappointed with myself because I am not as good as I should, I don’t look pretty enough, I suck at a lot of things and many other reason which I feel roots back from not understanding the difference between me and everyone else.

I came to a conclusion that I feel bad for myself because I feel like I should be as good as everyone else not realizing that there are flaws and there are awesome points in my existence!

I go back to embracing my insecurities and I feel better.

And I guess, when people have mastered the art of understanding everyone’s differences, we would all be happy and appreciative. No fights, no depression, no nothing!