HELLO!!!!

How could I have missed all your comments? Please don’t think that I ignored you and all that. *sigh*

Also, please leave your link on the comments section so I could visit your blog! I swear, please leave it if you saw this post. ❤

Thank you! I’ll do my blog rounds today and I hope to visit your blog ❤

Sincerity

 

You can fake a lot of things in this life. You can fake a smile, an emotion, an attitude but never the sincerity of your heart. No matter how hard you try to fake it, the insincerity would come out and that’s something you have to realize.

Heya!

I can’t wait to tell you all about my refreshing realizations. My oh my.

But that’s for tomorrow.

Today, I cut Kyx’s hair (because it’s wayyyy toooo long; it’s waist length already and his hair is lobger than mine!!!) and did nothing but watch Korean Dramas!

I also enjoyed my date last night with Kyx! Soooo happy!!

Xx

It Took All of Me

Let’s just all be brutally honest for once. After my 26th birthday, I was called out for all the bullshit I had said and done 100 years ago and was told off. I was left behind by everyone I stuck up with for more than 10 years and then bahm, I was out.

I didn’t realize until now how strong I have become and how strong I was back then. It took a lot for me emotionally, mentally and physically to stay here. To stay alive. It took me so much energy and pain to be able to stand again.

I thought the world was crumbling down in front of me, I thought I was seriously friendless. I even thought that maybe they’re right, maybe I was such a bad friend, a bad person. But then I realized every good thing that I did, every single time I chose them over a lot of other things, all the times I had sacrificedmyself—simple joys, happiness, food, time, soul, just so I could be with them. For all the times I didn’t enjoy but simply put myself out there because I didn’t wanna miss out, I wanted to be with them. For all the times I didn’t even like myself that much anymore because I felt so drained, I felt really bad for the things I did and said and I didn’t even realize how much it would cost me. Those petty things I did, I didn’t know it would hurt even after 100 years after. But maybe, just maybe, everything needed to happen like that. Everything need to fall apart so I can find all the pieces back.

Everything needed to just breakdown, crumble, torn apart so I can gather all the pieces of me that got lost in the process.

Everything needed to be destroyed so that I can rebuild myself again.

All these things, it took all of me. It took my heart and soul and I can’t say I am whole again. I can’t say I have fully moved on. I can’t say I couldn’t feel bad for everything that happened before because trust me, I do. I still do. I dream about my 2 ex-best friends almost every day. I dream about them being with me, doing the usual stuff that we do. I sometimes still wish we could all go back. But then I have to remind myself time and again, over and over and over and over again that it took all of me just so I could be where I am right now. Just so I could feel what I feel right now.

It took all of me just so I could find myself again.

It took all of me just so I could grow.

Hola Amigos

 

I owe you guys a biggie. If not for you all who keep reading and visiting me and wanting to hear from me, I would have died a long time ago by killing myself. In all honesty, I am compelled by my suicide thoughts but with dear people like you guys, you give me so much hope in this world. In all the cruelty, you continue to strive for kindness and show me that no matter how simple, you gave me more care than anyone could ever give.

I mean ya know, aside from my family, you guys are amazing with the support you keep giving me.

I am off to visit your blogs and hopefully, be updated by your writings and rants and realizations and experiences. I enjoy tremendously all that you have to share so I may do it slowly, but I’ll surely visit and leave you guys comments ❤

I also haven’t been painting. I painted a month ago but I haven’t finished it. Sometimes, when you get off of the track it’s a bit harder to go back.

I also haven’t told you much about the fun stuff I experienced with my friends! So maybe I’ll do it within this week.

I can’t wait to visit your blogs and read about everything that transpired in my absence!

I’m so sorry that I was MIA. I found myself always curled up and kept ignoring social media that my blog kinda suffered as well. Let’s get back on track now shall we?