Hola Amigos

 

I owe you guys a biggie. If not for you all who keep reading and visiting me and wanting to hear from me, I would have died a long time ago by killing myself. In all honesty, I am compelled by my suicide thoughts but with dear people like you guys, you give me so much hope in this world. In all the cruelty, you continue to strive for kindness and show me that no matter how simple, you gave me more care than anyone could ever give.

I mean ya know, aside from my family, you guys are amazing with the support you keep giving me.

I am off to visit your blogs and hopefully, be updated by your writings and rants and realizations and experiences. I enjoy tremendously all that you have to share so I may do it slowly, but I’ll surely visit and leave you guys comments ❤

I also haven’t been painting. I painted a month ago but I haven’t finished it. Sometimes, when you get off of the track it’s a bit harder to go back.

I also haven’t told you much about the fun stuff I experienced with my friends! So maybe I’ll do it within this week.

I can’t wait to visit your blogs and read about everything that transpired in my absence!

I’m so sorry that I was MIA. I found myself always curled up and kept ignoring social media that my blog kinda suffered as well. Let’s get back on track now shall we?

 

What 18 years of Friendship Looks Like

It was June 1999. The first day of 2nd grade. My mom dropped me off way too early than she should. It was what, like 6:30 in the morning? The sun wasn’t completely out yet, it’s still a bit chilly and the sky looks quite gloomy. The classroom is still quiet. I didn’t bother with the class list, confident enough that I will meet new friends again. At the back of my head, I was thinking about Odes, Faye, VL, Bea, Lara—the friends I was so used to be around with back in 1st grade. “Don’t worry, Faye, VL, Bea and Lara are still your bus mates so you would get to see them and be around them every day. Odes will still be your friend, her room is close by where you’re at!” that’s what my mom told me and I was reassured. She told me to sit in the front row, so that’s what I did. My mom was trying to make small talk with me because maybe, I look a bit nervous. I keep looking at my Mary Janes and St. Michaels knee-high socks, I keep wondering if it’s too high for a pair or was it just normal, until a girl sat next to me. My mom told me that I am about to make friends now so she’ll leave me kissed me goodbye and left for work.

I was left with a girl named Cathy. She talked about how she had just got back from the States and that her family had a nice time visiting Universal Studios. She told me all about Lego Land and I was so fascinated about her escapades. The bell rang and students are pouring inside the classroom and this one girl stood out. She have this curly light brown hair in pigtails looking nervous and shy. Her ears are distinct and she entered the room quietly with her pink Barbie stroller bag and sat at the back of the room. That’s when I knew I’d like to be friends with her.

Though I wasn’t completely the shy type back then, I didn’t make a move to be friends with her, I was actually glad to sit next to Cathy and she was this really cool nice girl who talks a lot and kept me entertained.

After a few weeks, our Filipino teacher Miss Dano was quite irritated with my talkative classmate who sits next to curly light brown haired girl—Gert. Being Miss Dano’s sort of favourite, she asked me to exchange seats with Gert’s seatmate and I ended up sitting next to curly light brown haired girl—Gert every Filipino (subject) time. The next thing I know, I introduced Gert to Cathy and my other new found friends. Until such time we ate together, exchanged Play Station games (Rugrats: A Search for Reptar and Spice Girls) Then I opted to choose the “2nd trip” every dismissal just so Gert and I could play at the school’s playground! We played all sorts of games and pretended we were in Legends of The Hidden Temple or Global Guts!

Then a lot of other years came and we were always classmates so we ended up being total Best Friends since 2nd grade!

I transferred schools, we remained best friends. We would even have sort of week-long sleep overs at her house and do nonsense. We just enjoyed each other’s company all the time until 18 years have passed!

Now, we are both 26 years old and nothing really changed. Except that our problems turned into adult dilemmas instead of trying to finish Crash Bandicoot and Mary-Kate and Ashley Magical Mystery Mall on Play Station!

I cannot even put into words how blessed and grateful I am that in my lifetime, I found a gem. Though we are completely different, we stayed best friends—sisters even!

Happy Birthday, G! You’re the best and the universe have proved it anyway. I love you so much!

My Top 20 Inspirational Quotes

This is really helpful, inspirational and amazing! 🙂

Damon Ashworth Psychology

20. “A Year From Now You Will Wish You Had Started Today.” — Karen Lamb

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19. “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” – Maria Robinson

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18. “Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.” – Benjamin Franklin

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17. “Instead of condemning people, let’s try to understand them. Let’s try to figure out why they do what they do. That’s a lot more profitable and intriguing than criticism; and it breeds sympathy, tolerance and kindness. ‘To know all is to forgive all.'” Dale Carnegie

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16. “Rules for Happiness: Something to do, Someone to love, Something to hope for.” – Immanuel Kant

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15. “I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.” – Jimmy Dean

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14. “Though philosophers have traditionally been concerned with the…

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26th!!!

Watch out for my 26th birthday (post)! 

I can’t wait to share with you all what transpired. I’m truly happy and I’ve never felt this way towards my birthday before so it’s special to me 💖

I’ll write all about it later! Whoohoo! 😚

Oh and By The Way…


This is me being all happy today!

I’m a few days away from turning another year older and ahhhh I just wanna stop growing old but I can’t help but feel nice that it’s almost my birthday!

In a long time, I have dreaded my birthday. I hated summer because I know that it’s not gonna be long before I turn another year older. Like on my old blog entries and about a year ago, I was dreading the days before my birthday because I never wanted to celebrate it. Not because I didn’t wanna grow older but I felt like I am being forced to be responsible, to be someone I am not. I grow anxious because I didn’t think I was ready, I didn’t believe in myself, I didn’t like myself. I’d remember picturing myself as a successful grown-up but the moment I enter that phase, I get too caught up with myself and the strings I have attached to myself, restricting everything I have control over.

But now, a lot has changed!

I am very far from saying “Oh yes, at last! I have figured my life out, I have sorted myself and I am exactly where I planned to be. I love it” no. I am not there. At least not yet. However, I feel like I am more open to possibilities, changes and opportunities. I welcome change more than ever and I have learned a lot about myself over the course of 25 years. Now, as I am almost 26, I look back and cringe at how stupid I was before. How naïve, how angry, how different! I see a great difference from where I was at before, to where I was now—emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

Can’t say I am stable but I’m probably more improved than before! The fact that I understand myself more now in most days than I don’t is pretty impressive huh? I know I have a long way to go, I have more to learn and a bunch of stuff to let go but I am happier and bolder now!

I like myself more therefore, I get to like other people more than I did before. I am in control of my decisions and I trust my instinct more! I also understand the choices I make and I thank myself for being who I am today. I am stronger and more lively!

I guess this is God’s doing, my family’s support and my friends. Aside from that, I guess Yoga helped me a lot too! Whoo!

What’s Up?

I have been doing Yoga for about a week or two now and I can say I find it very therapeutic for me. I mean it works well as a workout or whatnot but it also eases my stress levels ? I’m not sure if I am just on a happy note the past few days but I am almost stress free for a good week now and I feel like it’s about Yoga. Last weekend, I also started watching a Korean series called “Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok Joo” and I am enjoying it so much! It takes so much of my time but I’m loving it. I’m limiting a half episode of it on weekdays cause I watch Death Note as well (I’m re-watching the anime version before the live action enters). I figured I am not good at drafting my posts because it always ends up not being published. 😦 Last night, I did a 50 minute Yoga and finished a bag of potato chips after. That’s so lame right? I wish I could be more disciplined!!! Gahhh. Also, my birthday is coming up in a few days and maybe this is a first time in a long time that I looked forward to my birthday. Stoked, even! Whoo!

What’s New?

I have written something and scheduled my posts but apparently, it didn’t go through again. I shall post them all soon—or even today if ya’ll don’t mind.

Uhm, what’s new? Nothing. I’m just trying to live super healthy as of the moment and hopefully, I can keep up with it.

I haven’t eaten pork since I don’t even remember anymore! I do yoga at least twice a day, before going to be and before getting ready for work. I ate a good portion controlled meal for breakfast, same for lunch and I plan on just having fluids for dinner today!

My gosh, yoga isn’t boring at all! It’s also not easy but I love it. I love doing yoga every day!

Unfortunately, no professional yoga class ever fits my schedule so I have to do it on my own through videos I see on YouTube. It’s very effective and helpful, geez.

I also got back to reading one whole passage from “Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff…Omnibus” daily. Before I start my day in general or before I work. It helps me have a more positive vibe to my day and that pretty much makes a great difference for my outlook in life on a daily basis.

Whenever I ask how you guys have been, no one really answers! But lemme ask again, how have you been? : )

 

“How Much Money Do You Have in Your Bank Account?”

I have a bad habit of being harsher than I intend only because I say things with no bullshit and no sugar coating. I don’t intend to mess around or make fun of anyone, I just literally say what I think, when I think it. So this may sound harsh and rude but I am only speaking the truth and stating facts. Don’t take it against me. LOL.

Case on point: Money, Savings, Spending, Bank Account, Money in the Bank

I find it really astonishing as to how some people react over other people’s money habits such as how they spend and how they save. I mean I couldn’t wrap around my head as to WHY THE FUCK YOU CARE ABOUT HOW OTHERS SPEND WHEN YOU ARE NOT IN ANY WAY AFFECTED BY IT? LOL.

  1. People have different upbringings, aspirations and goals. You can’t be a pushover and impose what you think is right and what works out for you because it might be different for other people. When I see someone spend so much money on things, I dismiss the idea of judging them right away because they might have really wanted to spend their money on that particular thing or they saved for that or anything.
  2. If people spend way above their needs and would borrow money from me when they have spent all their money, then I’d probably get annoyed and blame it on the “cause you didn’t prioritize shit first didn’t you?” only under that circumstance will I put my judgment on the table.
  3. Who are you to say something about other people’s savings and spending habits? You did not work for that money so might as well shut your piehole?

I mean really, some people may put their judgment first and say a lot of things about other people but hey, did you stop and think first before opening your mouth and putting your opinion out there? Cause last time I checked, I work damn hard for my money and everyone knows DAMN WELL I DO! I have enough money saved everytime I get my paycheque from work, enough to send my sister to school, enough to buy my needs, enough to fucking eat ramen on a weekly basis (if I may add that)

If you are also curious as to how hard I work? Well I WORK 6 DAMN DAYS A WEEK. I don’t get to have 2 day offs so you do not know me, you do not know how hard I work and you don’t have any say or any right on how I live my life. You can go judge your own self for judging other people.

Xox,T.