Story Time: Paalam Payong

Isang tao lang ang nakakaintindi tungkol sa attachments ko sa mga bagay at gamit ko na tipong pakiramdam ko ay buhay sila. Pakiramdam ko talaga may feelings yung mga gamit ko. Kaya eto ako ngayon, ang sakit ng dibdib ko.

Alam mo yung feeling na hindi ka makaarte masyado kasi hindi naman mamahalin o sobrang halaga ng naiwala mo. Hindi naman siya wallet, bag or cellphone. Isa lang siyang payong kaya hindi mo alam pano mo pa ba hahanapin sa mga tao eh baka sabihan ka na parang payong lang pinagaaksayahan mo pa ng oras? Pero tumawag ako sa Barangay Hall ng Caniogan kung saan doon ang Toda ng nasakyan kong tricycle. Nanliit ako nung tinanong ako Maam ano po ba yung naiwan ninyo? Well sinabi ko pa rin na payong po.

You see, payong ko yun mula 2nd year college ako. Jowa ko pa yung jowa ko ng 5 years na niloko ako, hanggang sa naghiwalay na kami ng jowa ko na yun, payong ko pa rin yung payong ko. Hanggang sa naging kami nan i Kyx at mag 4 years na kami, payong ko pa rin ang payong ko na yun. Ang tagal na naming magkasama, Ondoy na at lahat lahat, siya pa rin ang payong ko. Kaya bat ko ba siya naiwala ngayon. Kaibigan ko pa yung mga kaibigan ko dati na hindi ko na kaibigan ngayon eh payong ko na yung payong ko. -_- anak ng tinola. Kapag nga naman inaalat ka.

Kung hindi kasi maliit ang bag ko, hindi ko yun hawak hawak lang. Kung umuulan kasi kaninang umaga malamang gamit gamit ko siya diba. Eh hindi umuulan nung bumaba ako ng tricycle kaya nawala talaga sa loob ko.

Umaandar na yung van nung narealize kong naiwan ko yung payong ko sa trike.

Ang sakit. Ang sakit sakit.

Payong, ang dami na natin pinagdaanan. Huwag ka sanang magalit o magtampo sa akin na pinabayaan kita. Hindi ko sinasadya. Nabibwisit din ako sa sarili ko. Sana mamaya maabutan pa kita, sana mahanap pa kita. Sanaaaaa sanaaaa.

This is what happens when you grow up with Toy Story. WTF.

Ooooohh payong koooo!!! 😥

Pero sabi nga ng mga TFIOB friends, ni Kyx, ni DJ, effortan kong hanapin at balikan. Kapag wala na siya, wala na. Mag move on na ako at i-let go.

Gusto kong sisihin ang pagcocommute ko at lahat lahat na. Pero ako naman talaga may kasalanan. Sadyang careless ako paminsan kaya ayan tuloy. Ang sakit sa damdamin.

Pero payong nga lang naman yun madaling bumili. Pero hayyyyy. Babalitaan ko kayo kung nahanap ko ang payong bwahaha

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Story Time: Muntikan nang Maihi

This was such a badass morning. Sorry for my friends who do not understand Tagalog because I will be writing this particular post in Tagalog po. He he.


Guys, muntik na ako maihi sa pants ko kaninang umaga. Anak ng tinola talaga kung minamalas at inaalat naman nga talaga ang buhay ko. If wala kayo sa aking twitter, this is the chance to know what happened hahahahahah as if haha pero ayun na nga. Ang daming lessons at realizations kaninang umaga ng dahil sa ihi at pantog kong nagsusumabog.

Maaga ako nagising. Maaga akong nakatulog, maulan oo pero mas gusto ng katawang matulog kaysa ano ba yung isa pang pwedeng gawin? Ah eh anyway, ayun nakatulog ako habang nanonood ng Desperate Housewives (hahaha alam ko na sasabihin tita ako but tita na talaga siguro me guys hehe) so anyway pag gising ko tinatamad pa ako kumilos kasi part of me ay umaasa na walang pasok kami sa office today. Pero nung mga almost 7am na at wala pa ring nagsassabi na wala kaming pasok, naligo na ako.

I went about with my day, gumawa ng tsaa (yung tsaa ko ay 500ml tea at aloe *importante itong detalye na to*) tapos gumawa na ako ng shake at ayun, hinatid na ako sa sakayan. Coding kami today kaya magcocommute ako. Sa sobrang daming iniisip at medyo hindi pa ako over sa mga problema ko sa buhay lately, hindi ko pinapansin na mga mahigit isang oras na ako sa trike at imbes na 15 minutes lang ay nasa sakayan na ako ng van, stuck ako sa masikip na mala-impyernong traffic habang patuloy ang pag-ulan.

Sa normal na araw 5 minutes away nalang ako sa sakayan ng van pero mukang masastuck pa ako ng another 20 minutes. Napansin ko na ang oras kasi naiihi na ako. As in yung naiihi na ako talaga. Namimilipit, at sasabog na ang pantog levels.

Nung namimilipit na ako, nakalampas na kami sa gasolinahan at iniisip ko n asana nagpahinto ako dun kasi naiihi na talaga ako. Iniisip ko na talaga ang mga ganitong bagay:

Girl, bat di ka nagdiaper nalang? Sana naisip mong magdiaper haha.

Pano na ako? Hindi talaga aabot ng bgc to, sasabog na talaga yung ihi ko.

Oh my gaaahhhd nagdadasal na ako, sabi ko Lord please naman wag naman ako maihi dito. Mej malakas na at paulit ulit pero hindi naman ako naririnig ni kuya trike driver kasi busy syang magbasa ng Bulgar at Tiktik na baon niya para hindi maburyo sa trapiko.

Pawisan na ako kahit malamig ang panahon. Naiiyak na ako. Malapit na ako maihi talaga konting tulak nalang maiihi na ako. Konting lubak nalang lalabas na lahat lahat.

Iniisip ko na kung paano ko ba sasabihin sa boss ko na hindi nalang ako makakapasok kasi naihi ako sa pants ko? Or sabihin ko may naihi tapos ako yung naihian? Hindi ko na alam gagawin ko.

Basta ang alam ko hindi talaga aabot ng bgc yung pantog ko kahit anong pigil ko sasabog talaga eh. Pinag-pa sa Diyos ko na yung pantog ko kasi wala na akong alam na magagawa ko pa para pigilan ang pagsabog ng wiwi ko. Iniisip ko kakapalan ko muka ko baka may mga bahay bahay dun or mga store na may cr baka pwede nila akong paihiin at maawa sila sakin. Bahala na.

Sa wakas, nakarating kami sa Rotonda, dito yung sakayan ng Van. Pagbaba ko ng trike, di ko na kinuha yung sukli ko. Dumerecho na ako agad sa nakita kong opisina ng SSS. Lumapit agad ako sa guard.

Ako: Kuya pwede po bang makigamit ng CR?

Guard: Mam cr lang ah? Baka po mamaya pumila ka sa SSS?

Ako: iihi lang po talaga ako *he he heheheheheputanginanaiihinaakohehehe* hehe

Guard: sige mam *sabay turo sa cr*

Binilisan ko yung lakad ko kasi talagang woaaahhhhh talagang eto na sasabog na talaga.

So ayun, umabot ako sa cr. In fariness, malinis ang cr nila sa SSS. Di ko alam kung dahil ba maaga pa or dahil malinis talaga? Siguro nakailang minuto ako kasi ang haba talaga ng ihi ko. Hahahha pero ayun, pinagpala talaga tayo ng Panginoon at hindi pinapabayaan juskolerrrrd.


Thoughts:

  • Nawala siguro yung mga dinadamdam ko at pagaalala ko sa buhay at sa hinaharap dahil ibang klase pala talaga ang nagagawa ng maiihi ka na at wala kang kalaban laban. Iniisip ko buti nga di ako natatae pala pero kahit na, parehas silang mahirap. Hindi mas madali ang ihi kesa sa pag-tae pero hay basta.
  • Napaisip din ako, lagi nalang akong ganito. Naiihi, natatae hahaha ano ba naman. Kaya guys sana maunawaan niyo kung bakit minsan hirap akong sumama sa mga lakad kasi mayayamot kayo sakin na laging naiihi. Kung di naman naiihi, natatae. Dalawa lang. O kaya naman habang bumabyahe nauutot so mahirap akong kasama guys. Ngayon kung mahal niyo naman ako, matitiis nyo siguro diba haha
  • Iniisip ko pano kaya kung naihi ako ano sasabihin ko sa mama ko o kaya kay kyx?? Uhm, naihi kasi ako sa pantalon kaya di na ako makakapasok? HAHAHAH taena sobrang woahhhh ibang level.
  • Maarte ako sa CR dahil natrauma na ako na baka magkaron ako ng UTI sa maduming cr o kung ano pa man kaya kapag hindi maganda yung cr o alam kong kaya kong pigilan ang ihi ko, di talaga ako iihi pero ngayon hindi na. Wala akong karapatang umarte kasi lalo na yung ihing ihi ako. So narealize ko kapag desperado ka na, lahat gagawin mo na eh. Lahat kakayanin mo. Hindi ako madali makipagusap sa strangers pero kinaya ko makiusap sa guard kesa maihian ko talaga tong pants ko paborito ko pa naman to! Tsaka maiihian ko din paa ko so ayoko yun mangyari (sorry too much info pero hahahaha totoo naman diba)
  • Naisip ko din hangga’t kaya, wag susuko. May paraan pa, may magagawa pa sa buhay. Wag tayong basta nalang gumive up kasi may mga mangyayari pa diba?
  • Hindi ako naging valedictorian nung kinder kung iihi lang rin ako sa pantalon ko talaga eh. Chos ahha pero seryoso. Ano ba. Hahah sayang ang mga medal ko at kung anong quizbee na ipinanalo ko kung iihian ko lang pantalon ko (okay lang kung may sakit diba o kung may nangyari talaga. Eh eto sadyang katangahan kapag naihi ako eh)
  • Pinaka the best siguro yung kahit wala ka nang kalaban laban, litong lito ka na, di mo na alam gagawin mo at hirap na hirap ka na, may gagawin talaga si Lord na milagro para sayo kaya tiwala lang.

The Enemy Who Turned Out To Be My Bestie

There are rare cases when your enemy becomes your best friend and our case is something like that. Well it was inevitable to say the least.

When we were children, he was forced to play with me all the time because I am this annoying brat that wanted a playmate but there were no kids in our area that time so I’d be in my inflatable pool every day bathing with my Barbie dolls and he will be forced to play with my dolls as well. It won’t last long because he will want to annoy me by including his GI Joes in the game and then kill my dolls. I’d end up crying and pool time and doll time will be over. Looking back I think his goal is to make me cry so that my stupid game would finally end. HAHA.

Both he and I will never forget this. We were playing upstairs while mom is fixing dinner. It was a wrestling match, I think I hit him too hard in the head or something which made him do the kaltok. Kinaltukan nya ako ng malakas and it was so painful. I was screaming for mom and he said mom wouldn’t believe me because there won’t be an evidence from the kaltok and so being the brilliant 6 years old that I am, I bit myself in the arm and told my mom that he bit me. HAHAHAHHHAAHAHHA. It wasn’t funny back then but it was NOW. HAHA. He thought I was pure evil and he can’t believe I played him like that. Kids. Hahaha

There were so many instances that we’ll fight about petty things, some were funny to think about now, some were super cringe-y that I don’t even want to remember it anymore. mehehhe. We went through a lot like from my maldita childhood days to the brat angsty teenager. From comedy, drama to horror (remember when we heard footsteps upstairs and you were arrogant enough to yell at the footsteps telling the entity to come down because we were not afraid and then the footsteps from downstairs went to the stairs and we ran outside the house because WHAT THE FUCK? HE REALLY WENT FUCKING DOWNSTAIRS BECAUSE OF YOU)

But as we grew older, we stood by each other a lot. There were so many fights between the two of us but I guess, blood is really thicker than water most of the time. I don’t think I’ll ever love a guy human being as dearly as I love this guy. He is definitely the bestie everyone would wish for.

Pinagtatanggol niya ako sa lahat ng aapi or umaaway sakin. Kahit hindi niya ako bati minsan, basta magsumbong ako sakanya, lagot yung isusumbong ko.

We argue about a lot of things and he’s different from me. He’s so rational, he listens but he makes sure I listen to what he has to say as well. Making me understand how life works and all that crap.

I look up to him so much and he is the reason why I am so inspired to help others. He’s like that—always helping, always sacrificing.

And with that, I am grateful he is alive. Soooo..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY DEAREST KUYA, ALTHEO!

We used to be enemies and now we’re besties. I love you so much and I pray for your success and more blessings every single day because you deserve it.

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But no matter how much I love you, I will still blackmail you in the future HAHA.

I hope this day makes you feel special and happy. I hope you don’t get stressed out a lot and I hope this isn’t just another working day for you. Pray and thank God you’re alive and blessed with another year, think of your purpose, reflect on the past years of your life and look! See how far you’ve come already!

Be the light that you always are in other people’s life. Continue to inspire us with your patience, understanding and love. You are a blessing to your family and friends and I hope you know that.

People may not be able to say it like that but that’s true. A lot of people can attest to that and I know they’re grateful for your existence.

I love you always, kuya. You’re the best!

Nakalimutan ko sabihin na thank you sa pagluluto mo para samin, paglibre mo, pagbigay ng mga gusto ko bwahaha

P.S. I love your birthday kasi holiday sa Pinas bwahahha!

Our Differences

I woke up today feeling sorry, terrible, sick to my stomach and disgusted with the system.

There are norms that we follow in society, we all have different views and opinions toward things and that’s never wrong. What I feel is wrong is when people have their idea of what is right and would want to impose that idea to everyone not thinking that other people perceive things differently.

It’s such a shame when people point out what you need to improve on, your weaknesses, your challenges and attitude when they can’t even improve themselves.

I just really felt terrible that there are a lot of people who are like this.

You, who are reading this right now, don’t be like that. Flip the coin for once and check the other side.

Random Tuesday

I don’t like Tuesdays because as I have observed, Tuesday is the new Monday (while Thursday is the new Friday) but when it comes to traffic, there’s really no telling how much of a hassle it will be especially if you live in one of the most problematic cities in the Metro—Pasig.

I am extra lazy today because I am still recuperating from the (fun but) stressful weekend I had so I am only reading inspirations for articles I have yet to accomplish for work. Meanwhile, I am about to doze off when my officemate said we should get coffee. The 4 of us went out of the building and went to the nearest Starbucks. Let me just say that I am not a huge fan of starbucks because their coffee is overpriced but whatever. I don’t have my coffee maker here so Starbucks wins for the day. I tried out their Vanilla Sweet Cream Cold Brew. I like my coffee strong with nothing really fuzzy and fancy going on so I ordered it. Turns out it tastes just like Mcdonald’s iced coffee LOL. I wish I walked more and went to Mcds instead but there are things we did on a whim and though headed to the road of regret, there’s no point in wishing to alter what has been done because—well, it has been done.

As I am getting over the fact that I wasted a good 175 peso on this coffee and worrying that in an hour I will be palpitating or may suffer from acid reflux, all is good in the world today.

I guess no day is perfect but at least my Tuesday is okay, normal to say the least.

As of writing, 5 minutes after about 10 sips of 3 tablespoons of coffee, my head is pounding. Maybe because of the fact that I was really sleepy a while ago?

What random thing can I inject in this pointless blog post? Oh. I was told about a dozen of times by different people to wear a lipstick color brighter than the usual color I wear. I could be a bitch and tell them that I don’t need their opinion or try listening to other people for a change? So I bought myself “long lasting liquid lipstick” from BLK. Not my brand. I use NYX on a daily basis because they’re really nice and wear off gracefully but NYX was nowhere to be found the last time I was at the mall so I went ahead and bought BLK. The color is decent. For once I am listening to other people’s opinion hahaha but this BLK long lasting liquid lipstick sucks out the moisture in my lips and it wears off leaving ugly stains and patch like tidbits on my lips. So uncool. I bought one for Amielle too but we wouldn’t be able to see each other because she’s leaving soon plus the lippie is not nice so I guess I’ll just have to use it.

Hmm. What else? Oh, I am planning like a million years ago to update my everyday reads blog page but I have not because whenever I ask you guys to comment if you want to be there, nobody really does hahahaha maybe you may want to tell me in this post if you want to be added on my everyday reads (if you have not been added yet) ??? Cause seriously, I’m asking hah!

I don’t think I’ll be able to finish this drink. I’m starting to palpitate. HAHAHA but I have to.

So while I’m palpitating, I’m off to read your blogs now!

May 19 – 20

I have yet to put the pictures on the stuff I have drafted (marami sila) but I have yet to post it because I want to add the pictures already but I didn’t have the time to do that yesterday! -_-

So today, let me update you with my weekend as if it was interesting enough hahaha.

Saturday – we had no plans so I was just really looking forward to taking a nap once I get home but since Kyx had a meeting with his officemates at Glorietta and he’s thinking that since he’s already out of the house, why not grab some dinner with his friends and me. So After his meeting and late lunch, he picked me up at 4pm. We’re waiting for King and Jerome so we had ice cream first and I bought a book at fullybooked (I swore I wouldn’t buy anything but I can’t be trusted inside a bookstore so..)

After that, we met up with King and Jerome at Mendokoro. I think we learned about Mendokoro 2 years ago when we were searching for the best ramen in the Philippines (Sorry Mendokoro but Ippudo is still our number one) and we loved their Super Chashu. Also a side note, ever since Ellen Adarna’s issue, the waiting time went on for more than 4 hours! (the longest we had to wait back then was a maximum of an hour hay)

Anywaaaaayyyyyy, we got there at 7pm and since the wait is taking forever, we walked to the nearest 7-11 and stayed there for about an hour. When we got back, we waited for another hour. Haaaay haahha. The ramen is good nonetheless. Kyx and I just shared a bowl and ordered 3 pieces of Gyoza and right after dinner, we all went home!

Sunday – woke up early because Airah and I would go to church. Digs dropped us off and after church, we met up with Kyx and Rubs. We ate late lunch at Ippudo (I love you, Ippudo) and met up with Aki and Vannessa for Deadpool 2. We enjoyed the movie and had coffee after. I love hanging out with these people even for just a few hours because they’re like the realest friends ever!

Nothing really fancy about my weekend. It’s just worth sharing because I really had a nice time!


Currently Watching: Haikyuu!! and The Kissing Booth

Currently Reading: Stay Sweet, Crazy Rich China Girl Friend and Genuine Fraud

 

Slow Saturday

This is one of the slow Saturday work days and I am not having it at all. All I can think about is how I’d rather just watch Haikyuu!! at home and not have to deal with working today. It should really start to be illegal not to have 2 days off. I swear.

Anyway, what do I have to write about today? Oh yeah, I made about 3 drafts of things I will be posting later so that’s something. Now, I am wanting to write about how I currently feel while uncomfortable sitting almost beside somebody (that I don’t actually feel comfortable with hence the adjective so why do I need to write this sentence anyway hahaha) but I’d rather not because then I’d just absorb the negativity he brings upon me hehe.

Last night, our weekly meeting was cancelled (hurrah!) so I was able to get out of the office earlier than most Fridays. Kyx and Dax (our shih tzu) picked me up from the office then we went straight to mom’s house to bring the Papaya Kyx’s mom wanted to give my mom. I also took some of my stuff like clothes and yoga mat from mom’s house cause I will be spending Friday night until Monday night at Kyx’s. We went home and ate dinner with Kyx’s mom and nephew. I loved the chicken steak his mom cooks so I ate a full cup of rice!!! (I am not to eat dinner anymore since I have not been losing weight after my Palawan trip but it’s so hard to resist that Chicken steak meal!)

After dinner, I realized I left my hormonal pills at mom’s house so Kyx and I drove back and took them pills. When we got home, we both watched 2 episodes of Haikyuu!! and by 10:30pm, I was knocked out!

Wait???? 10:30 on a Friday night I was already sleeping????? Maybe I was just so tired for the past days. Emotionally and mentally tired. I’m glad I got to sleep well though. How was your Friday night and how did you spend it? I want to know! 🙂


*Haikyuu!! is really written with 2 exclamation points so don’t think I’m yelling every time I mention it,
* I am counting the minutes until lunch break so I can finally breathe some fresh air.
* I think I am PMSing today because I really feel like the office is giving me negative vibes when it’s just normal I think ? ay ewan!