Please Help Baby Ace

My cousin, Ace Cargado who is barely 3 months old was born with a rare disease called Prune Belly Syndrome.

According to rarediseases.org

Prune-Belly syndrome, also known as Eagle-Barrett syndrome, is a rare disorder characterized by partial or complete absence of the stomach (abdominal) muscles, failure of both testes to descend into the scrotum (bilateral cryptorchidism), and/or urinary tract malformations. The urinary malformations may include abnormal widening (dilation) of the tubes that bring urine to the bladder (ureters), accumulation of urine in the ureters (hydroureter) and the kidneys (hydronephrosis), and/or backflow of urine from the bladder into the ureters (vesicoureteral reflux). Complications associated with Prune-Belly syndrome may include underdevelopment of the lungs (pulmonary hypoplasia) and/or chronic renal failure. The exact cause of Prune-Belly syndrome is not known.

Right now, baby Ace needs immediate medical attention and an operation because this baby is now holding on for dear life. Instead of being confined in a hospital, he is at home because their family cannot afford treatment and confinement.

Baby Ace resides in Nasugbu, Batangas Philippines.

Please help raise funds for his hospitalization in any way you could. Contact me through my Facebook: Aila Cargado or my email xoxaltheac@gmail.com

This means a lot to me and our family. Your prayers are also well appreciated, please pray for baby Ace and his family in this tough time.

P.S. I have yet to find out the exact amount he needs but any amount of your prayers and donation will be well appreciated and we will be forever grateful. Kahit dasal lang.

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“Lalaki ang sa amin, walang mawawala, walang talo.”

DISCLAIMER: Natrigger ako magsulat nito dahile may dalawang naguusap sa FX kaninang umaga na sa kanila daw kasi ang babae eh nag out of town keme so siyempre sabi ni Tita #1 kay Tita #2 na talo sila kanila ang babae at sa other party eh wala naman daw mawawala. HAHAHAHAAH dahil di ko sila kilala at hindi ko masabihan, isinulat ko ito para malabas ang damdamin ko. HAHAHAHA

Bago ang lahat, wag nating idamay ang relihiyon dito dahil usapang pantao ito. Damdamin, social issue o kung ano pa mang lehitimong tawag sa topic na tinatalakay ko. Hindi dapat kasali kung ano mang relihiyon o paniniwala pagdating sa diyos dahil kahit ano pa man ang relihiyon mo, nasasaktan ka, may damdamin at may pakielam sa pakikipagkapwa tao. Kaya kung relihiyon rin lang ang banat, wag na dito. At tsaka ang gusto ko lang kasi talagang pagusapan ay yung kakitiran ng utak ng mga tao na iniisip na may mawawala sa babae o matatalo ang isang babae kapag iniwan. Alam ko nakapagsulat na ako tungkol dito eh. Kaya lang nagreresurface nanaman kaya banatan ulit natin.


Kapag nagsama ang isang babae at isang lalaki, o nag live-in o nagpakasal lagi sinasabi na ang lalaki naman ay walang mawawala at walang talo. Siguro kasi kapag nabuntis ang isang babae, siya ang magdadala non for 9 months. Pero ang lalaki sasabihin nila na parang wala lang, walang nagbago nakabuntis man o hindi.

Pero kasi 2018 na ang hirap pa rin ba lalo na sa mga Filipino na tanggapin, pagaralan, pagisipan ang gender equality?

Bilang babae, hindi ko maiwasan na mainis o magpuyos ang damdamin kapag naririnig ko yung mga sinasabing sa babae kasi may mawawala o matatalo. Sa paanong paraan ho? Ano ho ang mawawala? Excuse my French pero magpapakatotoo na ako ah, mawawala ang alin? Ang virginity? Alisin natin ang mga pangkatolikong paniniwala o kung ano pa man. Tao sa taong usapan lang. Kung (gustong gusto kong isulat yung terminology na naiisip ko kaso baka sabihin niyo bastos pero isusulat ko pa rin) kik* lang rin ang basehan, sumisikip naman yon kahit gamitin mo araw araw. Scientifically speaking, hindi yan lumuluwag o nawawala sa porma via natural sexual intercourse. Ano pa? Ano pa mawawala? Yung innocence, nawala na yun matagal na. Ano pa? Alin pa? Yung puri? Ano bang ibig sabihin para sa inyo ng “puri”? Sa tekstong sekswal lang ba ang sukat at basehan? Oh come on. Puri my ass.

Sa lalaki din naman may nawawala. Nawawala din ang virginity nila. Hindi ko talaga maintindihan sa kung paanong paraan natatalo at may nawawala sa babae at sa lalaki naman ay wala. Walang talo. Puro panalo lang. Contest ba to na may nananalo at natatalo?

Kasi magwork man ang isang relasyon o hindi. Magkaroon man ng anak o hindi, wala naming nananalo at natatalo. Sige let’s put it this way, nagkaroon ng anak ang isang magkarelasyon. Iniwan ni lalaki si babae at ang anak. The end. Anong talo don? Makakahanap si babae ng kapalit ni lalaki kung yun ang destiny niya. Kung iniwan man siya sa kung ano mang kadahilanan hindi matatapos ang buhay doon, hindi titigil ang pagikot ng mundo at lalong lalo na walang contest na may nananalo at natatalo.

Kung si babae naman ang umiwan kay lalaki at sa anak nila ganon din naman. Makakahanap din si lalaki ng kapalit, aalagaan din niya ang anak, masasaktan din siya, pagdadaanan din niya ang emosyonal na trauma pero makakabangon din siya diba?

Tigil tigilan niyo ako sa mga talo ang babae. Hindi na makakahanap ng matinong lalaki gawa nang nabuntis na siya at iba pang keme at may anak na siya at kung ano ano pang katangahang banat.

Babae o lalaki, may anak o wala, may sex na naganap, walang natalo at walang nanalo. Mag-iwanan man sila, masakit yun at may emotional baggage silang dala pero walang mas kawawa lalo na kung gagawin mo yung best mo para makaahon ka sa kalugmukan.

2018 na ang sesexist parin. Pwe.

Ewan ko ba. Nakakainis. hahahahhaha


UPDATE!

Sensitibo ako pagdating sa topic na ganito dahil I came from a broken family. Kung mabasa man to ng pamilya ng ama ko o ng pamilya ng mga kapatid ko o kamag anak ng mga kapatid ko sa tatay nila, this is not intended to offend pero basehan ko lang yung katotohanan na ang mama ko mismo ang nagdesisyon na makipaghiwalay sa tatay namin ng mga kapatid ko dahil hindi na nagwowork yung relationship. Itinaguyod niya kaming mag-isa, walang tulong ng kahit na sino, hindi kami pinagaral ng mga kamag anak namin at mama ko lang talaga. Siya ang sumalo at umako ng lahat ng responsibilidad ng isang magulang pero NEVER kong nakita o naramdaman na kawawa siya. Namulat kami na matatag siya, matapang, may diskarte sa buhay. Lahat ng kinakain namin, pinangpapaaral sa amin sa kanya lang nanggaling. Wala kahit na sino ang nagbigay samin ng suporta maliban sa kanya at hindi ko nakitaan ng kahinaan kahit na alam kong mahirap magtaguyod ng limang anak na magisa ka lang. Kaya ako, ayokong naririnig na kawawa ang babae kapag iniwan. Dahil una sa lahat, kaya rin ng babaeng mang-iwan. Pangalawa, hindi kawawa dahil basta kakayanin mo at magsusumikap ka, hindi mo hahayaan ang sarili mong maging kawawa. Pangatlo, inexplain ng mama ko sakin na noong unang panahon lang kawawa kapag iniwan dahil walang walang aral o trabaho ang karamihan sa mga kababaihan (di ko alam anong year yon, baka di pa nga ako inuumpisahang buuin ng magulang ko noon) pero iba na ngayon. Ang babae, may pinagaralan, may trabaho at lumalaban.

About naman sa gender equality, ang lalaki din naman kapag iniwan hindi rin siya dapat maging kawawa. Ang lalaki kapag niloko kakayanin din niya dapat makaahon sa sakit na dinulot ng failed relationship. At kung sakanya iwanan ang anak, kayang kaya rin niyang palakihin iyon.

Kaya wag na tayo sa double standards. Masakit sa tenga marinig yun eh. Dapat pasulong, paangat. Lalaki o babae, walang kawawa at walang talo. Tandaan nyo yan.

Making Time (My 2018 So Far)

January ended just like that so let me take a look at how my January went.

  • Got sick for a whole friggin week! It’s crazy but as I said earlier, it gave me more time to myself. Heh.
  • I have not painted a single thing this month so I guess I’ll go ahead this month and paint something.
  • I kind of lost my drive to work because my morals and principles are being challenged every day so I guess, it’s time for me to leave.

Anywayyyyyyyy on the bright side,

One of the resolutions I made for this year is to make time for the right people. I think I have been good at it since the start of the year.

In January – I attended our family reunion. I always attend it anyway so. Haha.

  • I also attended the TFIOB 2nd meet up and was able to interact with my blogging friends.
  • I spent time with my family and Kyx’s family for a change. I love it.
  • I spent time with a few friends. Celebrated our friend’s birthday and had a wonderful time!

In February – I have a ton of plans!

  • Date with my college friend, Eds.
  • Attend my friend’s party.
  • Date with Kyx.
  • Paramore concert with Kyx and friends.
  • Church searching with my friend Ai.
  • Dinner date with cousins and a visit to Pinto Art.
  • Hopefully all these plans in February will push through.

The fact that I’m actually eager to spend time with people is an absolute improvement. I’m really towards recovery!!! I love it!

I have a few plans in March, especially my coffee date with A (ehem A, magcocoffee na tayo sa March! Hehe)

How’s your 2018 so far?

I am 26, Fat and Ugly

If I have not said it enough, I’ll say it again. I haven’t been 26 for a good 24 hours when people screwed it up for me. HAHAHAHA. I can’t remember if I enjoyed my birthday week but yeah, that happened. To those who have just been following me, here’s a summary of my heart breaking story (ang arte ng heart breaking lels)

  • I was so excited for my birthday. I am looking forward to it for the first time after I turned 7. I don’t know. I hate celebrating my birthday cause I feel old and shit but this was actually the first time that I was excited.
  • I went out with my friends and we had a BLAST.
  • The next day, they pitted on me and fought me. One (ex) friend took screenshots of our past conversations ranting about other friends etc and then they brought up our past issues and dug through the shit we didn’t like about each other 100 years ago. The funny thing is everyone did JUST THAT and I’m the only one being hated hehehe.
  • So after my birthday, I was so traumatized and I fell into my anxiety and depression. I had no one (that’s what I thought hehe
  • Everything was a disaster. I blamed myself for everything (only to realize that no, I am not the one to blame here hehehe. I mean oo I did things but to be blamed for everything? Lol)
  • It was sooo bad that I hated myself for a while. I was so stressed, I couldn’t sleep well, I gained SOOOO MUCH WEIGHT and my skin broke out sooooo bad as in GRABE. Fat and ugly, that’s what I am. No exaggerations, as in swear haha (photogenic lang ako kaya hindi obvious lels)

But since that day, I pushed myself to recover. It is a long process and I’m still trying to fully recover from the trauma it left me but at least now, I am on a better state. I am losing weight, I am not breaking out anymore (though the blemishes are still there but haha nawawala na sila)

So, am I excited for my birthday even after all the shit I went through that for sure, I will never forget (kasi syempre kaakibat ng birthday ko ang ganap na iyon diba) indeed I am.

I’m way past being scared like a shitty asshole. I am going to be okay from now on and I’ll be fine. Hopefully, on my birthday in April I’ll be “27. Wiser and Finer” (lol ahahah anudaw ahah)

Good vibes lang!

TFIOB Meet Up Ver 2.0

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TFIOB 2nd Meet Up (Photo from Kuya Jheff)

Saturday, January 6, 2018 – TFIOB Meet Up Ver 2.0

Of course, since I have to work from 9am to 4pm, I can’t make it on time. OBVS.

Right after work, I asked my officemate/friend, Anne if she can help me and my late sorry ass to go to Gateway Cubao. There was this “hidden” pathway called Butas and from there, we rode a tricycle heading to Guadalupe and then we rode the MRT going to Cubao. It was a fun experience because I don’t get to do that very often and I learned a lot from that trip (I’ll write about it some other time) Basta ang hirap huminga sa loob ng MRT, I swear haha.

When I arrived at Banapple, Gateway Mall (where the meet up was held) almost everyone was there. I didn’t get to talk to them as intimately as I’d liked to but it was still a fun experience. Those whom I met at the first meet up grew closer to my heart and the ones I’m meeting for the first time made me look forward to the next meet up.

There are still a lot of other Filipino bloggers from TFIOB that I’m looking forward to meet and talk to in person. Hopefully on the next meet up, I’d be able to see everyone.

On this meet up, I was able to meet these wonderful people and we all have different blogging styles, topics, culture, backgrounds and means of living but one thing that I realized is that everyone of us clicks just about right! We were able to set aside our differences and ang saya lang talaga hahah.

I’ll talk about the amazing things I experienced and realized while I was with them.

  1. I realized that I went out of my way for this people because these are the people that helped me when I was down and I love to see them and be able to talk to them personally.
  2. They helped me to get the hell out of my shell. When I am with them, I am not quiet and just a tinee weeny bit shy. It’s like they’re pushing me to give my full potential when socializing.
  3. They are really wonderful people. Go meet a writer and you’d feel like they really understand you to the core ?? And if not, they’ll try to understand you. I can’t explain the feeling, but just the openness of everyone? It’s impeccable!

Here are the bloggers I have met! Visit their blogs and see for yourself how wonderful these people are.

  • Kuya Jheff – He’s the one who organized the meet up hehe. Probably the kindest person I have met. He’s very patient, honest and nice. I really like him as a person. He inspires me to be better.
  • Rhea – Met her on the first meet up but I was not able to really socialize with her until the second meet up. She’s this strong amazing woman and she inspires me to be closer to God. 😀
  • Jas – The ball of energy that she is, is amazing!! She’s the life of the party and there is no dull moment when you are with her.
  • Jonathan – met this guy on the first meet up but was not able to really know him well, the second time I met him, I realized he’s kind, funny and a great person!
  • Kuya Keso and Ate Chococake – I was able to meet their kids at the meet up and huhuhu they are family goals talaga! Haha
  • Aysa – I was not able to talk to her that much because I was late and she needs to go home early hehe. But just like how she is in her blog—natural, kind and maganda!
  • Ely – I was looking forward to meet this person! KAKAIBANG FEELING! I didn’t know that Ely will be going talaga sa meet up and nung nakita ko na siya, NATUWA TALAGA AKO HUHUHU!
  • Kate – I think I knew Kate from the blog even before I knew these people and I was so excited to see her. FINALLY. She’s this amazing person who helped me in my darkest days. Huhuhu coffee date please!
  • Sensei – I was not able to talk to her that much because I was seated far from her although I was able to socialize with her before the meet up through comments and blog reading hehe. I like her!
  • Grace – I met her before at a blogging event but she can’t remember me HAHAHA. She’s this cute woman, very friendly and nice too! Can’t wait to see her again.
  • James – He’s this cool guy and I think he’s easy to get along with. He’s also very nice!
  • Patrick – I was not able to talk to him personally because when I arrived he already left but then he came back so we were just talking in groups with him hehe.
  • Pajama – She’s very mysterious but she has this game lagi vibes.

Overall, it was a nice experience to be able to at least meet the people behind the blogs I read every day. I hope our other TFIOB friends will be able to join us next time! Really looking forward to meeting a lot more people from the blogging community. Kakatuwa!

Hopefully, makita ko na din si Space, Alona, Kat, Jolens, Amielle, Kuya Albert, Jhem, Aubrey, Mikay, Ate Joy, Gerry, Chamy, Left Pencil, Jasmine, Ica, Kris, CJ, Ricaella, Monch, Marts, Meg, Marj, Eca, Princess, Deb, No Juan is an Island, Jirah, Vi, Jen , Idol Wanderer at marami pang iba! ❤

These are the blogs they wrote about the meet up:

Just Sharing

I love writing about sad love stories back in 2016 until I became sad myself hah.

I find it fascinating, filled with feelings when people are brave enough to dig deeper into their emotions, grieving yet sharing what seems to be the hardest to talk and write about. I don’t like it when people are lonely, sad and depressed but I just really find it fascinating to read something that can tear me into pieces.

Maybe that was empathy talking. Maybe I wanted to comfort those who have been broken. We all have been broken but not everyone had someone to keep them company when they’re down. I want to be that person. Someone who will comfort you when you need me.

After all the sad story fascinations I have had, I found myself being so thankful that Kyx is mine and that we are together because life without him will be crazy sad! I pray that I never get to write a sad love story starring me and Kyx. I want our stories to be hopeful! Some with stress and crazy fights but always with a hopeful happy ending.

So to veer away from the disturbing anxiety that I have formed just writing about this, I’ll share with you something I have never shared to anyone in the blogosphere before. HAHAHA.

Kyx is a funny guy. He is filled with humor and he never gets angry. He’s so understanding and kind. One fine day, we were driving home and I was being a complete rude child. He told me one thing and I didn’t like it so I screamed really loud. It was supposed to be funny but there was a tinge of annoyance and irritation that I have when I started screaming. I was all “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” in a really psychotic high pitched tone (because he was being annoying!!) so what he did was, HE OPENED THE FUCKING WINDOW and laughed cause I was forced to shut the hell up. I couldn’t forget that because instead of yelling at me, he dealt with me with humor and I was so ashamed of myself for being a psycho on him.

Wala lang. I just wanted to share that odd story because now, all I hope for are funny and irritating stories of cute couples rather than sad ones!

Noong Ako ay Bata Pa

Habang nakikinig ako ng mga OST ng Yu Yu Hakusho (Ghost Fighter) naalala ko yung 90s.
Late 90s na ‘to sumikat satin pero ’92 ‘to nilabas ng mga hapon.

’97-98 ko yata tinangkilik ang Yu Yu Hakusho pero tuwing naririnig ko yung mga OST nila, lalo na yung Smile Bomb, naaalala ko yung kung paano ang mundo ko nung bata pa ako.


*nostalgia coming up*

Namimiss ko yung pag-kagising ko, uupo ako sa upuang ratan na tamang tama lang para sa size ng isang 4 years old. Regalo ito sakin ng lola ko, isang set ng ratan na lamesa na may kasamang 3 upuan. Doon ko nilalagay ang mga palayok (palayok palayukan ang tagawa ko) ko, maliliit din na siyang binili ng lola ko sa kung saan, sa palengke ba? Hindi ko na matandaan.
Doo’y maglulutulutan na ako at tsaka magkukunwaring naghahanda ng almusal.

Tuwing maglalakad ako, kakalembang ang 2 maliliit na belles na nasa anklet na bigay sa akin ng tita ko.

Pabalik balik ako mula sa ratan set patungo sa kama ng mama ko at papakainin ko siya ng almusal-almusalan na kunwari’y ginawa ko.

Namimiss ko ding problemahin kung paano ako makakatulog ng tanghali dahil hindi ako inaantok ngunit kailangan sapagkat hindi ako papayagan lumabas at makipaglaro sa mga bata doon sa looban kapag hindi ako natulog ng tanghali.

Sa banig ako matutulog, habang nakikinig ang lolo ko sa transistor niya (bulag ang lolo ko kaya mas mahal niya ang transistor kaysa sa TV nya)

Kapag nagising na ako, papakainin na ako ng kung nong meryendang inihanda ng lola ko pagkatapos ay manonood ng Ang TV at lalabas na. Makikipaglaro ng kung anong laro ang trip ng mga bata sa looban.

Iba yung pakiramdam kapag lumalabas ako non tuwing hapon. Kalma, hindi na mainit ang araw at nakakatuwa ang ingay ng mga bata (baka ako lang natutuwa kasi bata rin ako noon) Pawis na pawis ako parati at madalas pandilatan ng lola ko pag uuwi na ako dahil ang babae daw ay hindi dapat nagtatatarang at nagtatatakbo sa labas. Pero gusto ko eh.

Nakakamiss maging bata. Nakakamiss yung hapon noon. Yung klima, yung kalma. Nakakamiss ang lolo at lola ko. Namimiss ko lahat.