I said it so many times then find myself relapsing and being sad all over again right? But this time, I am so thrilled to share with you all that I finally found myself all moved on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ANG WILD.
I prayed for this day to come long enough. There were so many hopeless nights that I would cry stupidly, praying that God may grant me healing, forgiveness and peace of mind. I kept praying and crying and praying and crying over and over and over again. I waited for this day to come. I hoped for this day to come, to finally close that sad sad chapter in my life.
So how did this day finally arrived? In the latter days of 2017, I vowed to keep focusing on the things I still have, celebrate life and take the painful things as learning experiences and part of growth. I was still a bit sad I think, I was still trying to find closure. Hindi ako matahimik eh. Then come February, I muster up the courage to find closure with an individual. I found peace in my heart afterwards. I also didn’t want to reach out to others anymore, I feel like I have exhausted all my efforts and maybe it’s not the time to talk to some people. Maybe someday in the future. The good thing is that I finally accepted that fact as well.
A friend from that same circle reached out to me and my heart is overjoyed. I figured I didn’t lose everyone anyway. I have no words to describe how happy I was when that friend messaged me.
In all of those things, in my sleepless nights and desperate call for prayers, I have learned enough to love myself.
- If people wouldn’t grant you the closure you deserve, make the closure for yourself. You don’t need validation, you don’t need to run after people who have shut you out of their lives already because there will come a time when they will seek for peace of mind and eventually learn to forgive you anyway. They may not still give you that closure you are looking for but the fact that they forgave you already should be enough.
- If you have forgiven wholeheartedly those who have hurt you, you wouldn’t be running around kicking yourself with guilt. Learn to forgive no matter how much pain they have caused you.
And the most important thing I will live with from now on is not wanting to validate whether a person likes to be in your life or not. Hindi na natin kailangan tanungin yan.
My thoughts are scattered at ang gulo gulo. Itinawid ko nalang. hahah
Nga pala, thank you to everyone who helped me come to this point. I have friends who prayed for me. I have you guys from being blog readers, supporting one another in the blogosphere to being friends, from the bottom of my heart, thank you. So pano? Kitakits na ulit!? 😀