I am 26, Fat and Ugly

If I have not said it enough, I’ll say it again. I haven’t been 26 for a good 24 hours when people screwed it up for me. HAHAHAHA. I can’t remember if I enjoyed my birthday week but yeah, that happened. To those who have just been following me, here’s a summary of my heart breaking story (ang arte ng heart breaking lels)

  • I was so excited for my birthday. I am looking forward to it for the first time after I turned 7. I don’t know. I hate celebrating my birthday cause I feel old and shit but this was actually the first time that I was excited.
  • I went out with my friends and we had a BLAST.
  • The next day, they pitted on me and fought me. One (ex) friend took screenshots of our past conversations ranting about other friends etc and then they brought up our past issues and dug through the shit we didn’t like about each other 100 years ago. The funny thing is everyone did JUST THAT and I’m the only one being hated hehehe.
  • So after my birthday, I was so traumatized and I fell into my anxiety and depression. I had no one (that’s what I thought hehe
  • Everything was a disaster. I blamed myself for everything (only to realize that no, I am not the one to blame here hehehe. I mean oo I did things but to be blamed for everything? Lol)
  • It was sooo bad that I hated myself for a while. I was so stressed, I couldn’t sleep well, I gained SOOOO MUCH WEIGHT and my skin broke out sooooo bad as in GRABE. Fat and ugly, that’s what I am. No exaggerations, as in swear haha (photogenic lang ako kaya hindi obvious lels)

But since that day, I pushed myself to recover. It is a long process and I’m still trying to fully recover from the trauma it left me but at least now, I am on a better state. I am losing weight, I am not breaking out anymore (though the blemishes are still there but haha nawawala na sila)

So, am I excited for my birthday even after all the shit I went through that for sure, I will never forget (kasi syempre kaakibat ng birthday ko ang ganap na iyon diba) indeed I am.

I’m way past being scared like a shitty asshole. I am going to be okay from now on and I’ll be fine. Hopefully, on my birthday in April I’ll be “27. Wiser and Finer” (lol ahahah anudaw ahah)

Good vibes lang!

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15 thoughts on “I am 26, Fat and Ugly

    1. Hindi pa nila nadadigest yung pinakain ko sakanila inaway na nila ako gahahaha.
      Okay lang yun, nakilala ko kayo at kayo na ang bago kong mga friends hehehe 😘

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  1. Thea, you’re living under a huge rock if you ACTUALLY believe that you’re ugly!

    You look gorgeous and I’m not flattering you. It is indeed the truth. You are a great writer, a wonderful daughter and a first grade human being.
    So I request you to stop believing in all the bullshit you’re trying to tell yourself. X

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  2. You’ve been consistently working on your mental health and have been sharing your experiences with us and that indeed dubs you as a warrior and I laud your fighting spirit. Fight the good fight and live the good life. Love X

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Awww Anaida. Thank you so much for this. This journey wasn’t easy but you are one of those who made it actually bearable for me and I am grateful for that ❤️

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  3. At 30, I said “I feel so pangit, matanda and mataba.” A gay friend responded, “Are you talking about me?” And I moved on. Wahahahahaha. Nakakatawa pero nangyari talaga yang convo na yan. Hahaha.

    I’m glad you’re getting better and wiser and finer… and hotter. Hahaha. Gusto ko yung sinabi ni Aysang hotter. Hahaha.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Something similar happened to me today and now I’m traumatized to even check one online account. Minsan naiisip ko hindi talaga helpful ang social media. Nagiging cause of anxiety and depression yung mga taong hindi na marunong rumespeto or maging sensitive man lang sa mararamdaman mo. Yung totoo may hugot? But I like your mindset and positivity!! Tama yan! Life is beautiful and birthday mo pa! Happy birthday! May you continue to spread optimisim and good vibes!

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    1. Aww so happy gumagaling na siya! 🙂 Mag skincare ka everyday para di na siya bumalik. Sakin ang dami kong blemishes nahihiya pa rin ako 😦 hahaha hi din! 😀

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