Raw: No Time

I just feel like this week has been such a heavy week for me not to mention that I didn’t get to see or even bond with Kyx. Ang pabebe ng problema ko diba hahaha pero it’s so hard to have Saturday work! I only ever get 1 day off per week and I’m so close to just leaving this company. (chos. di pwede pa eh haha)

Today, I will meet up with 2 of my friends from Telus. Ya see, we became friends while we were still working at Telus so that’s why I call them Telus friends lels.

Tomorrow, Kyx will have a meeting for work and I might just go to Laguna with my mom and sister.

What rest?

Followan nalang tayo sa twitter 🙂 it’s @xoxthea if gusto nyo ng chikahan at rants hahaha chos.

HAPPY WEEKEND!

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Tanong

Minsan maiisip mo baka oo, baka hindi. Madalas hindi mo na alam kung anong sagot. Madalas tinatanong mo ang sarili mo pero magkaiba ang sagot ng puso at isipan mo. Dalawang magkaibang sagot, parehong naiintindihan mo pero hindi mo alam kung alin sa dalawa ang papakinggan mo.

Madalas hinahanap mo ang mga sagot sa tanong, pero hindi mo alam kung saan sila makikita. Hindi mo alam kung andiyan lang ba sa tabi tabi o kung nasa puso mo na mismo ayaw mo lang halungkatin, ayaw mo lang harapin?Hanap ka ng hanap kahit di mo naman alam saan titingin.

Pero lahat ng tanong nasasagot sa tamang panahon. Lahat ng tanong may kasagutan hindi lang natin agad maintindihan.

Dumating na ako sa punto na ako na mismo sumagot sa tanong ko, kahit di ko alam kung tama o mali, sinagot ko at pinanindigan ko ang napili kong kasagutan. Nung alam ko na at napaniwala ko na ang sarili ko sa mga kasagutan na ginawa gawa ko lang, biglang dumating ang tamang panahon at siya na mismo ang sumagot sa mga matagal ko nang hinahanapan ng kahulugan at kasagutan.

Baka ganyan din. Dadating din ang tamang pagkakataon, dadating din ang panahon na masasagot ang lahat ng tanong.

Positivity!

Pagkatapos kong malugmok, ipinakita sakin ni God na masyado akong naka-focus sa mga nakakapag-pa-stress sakin kaya kinailangan pa niyang ipakita sa akin na kaya kong maging okay.

  1. After writing about my little drama I had, I felt better. Moreover, I felt even better when you guys commented and helped lift my spirits! No matter how simple your messages were, it was enough to make me feel better again. Nakakaiyak yung mga comforting words niyo huhuhuhu 💖💖💖
  2. I keep a copy of the Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff OMNIBUS at my work table. I usually read it every morning but it has been a few days since I last opened it. When I did, what I saw left me surprised and tearful. The title is “Light a Candle Instead of Cursing the Darkness” it says that instead of stressing ourselves out over the problems we face, it’s best to find a solution. The line that caught my attention the most was this “taking positive, solution-oriented steps toward improving a situation instead of complaining about what’s wrong. It means being more a part of the solution rather than a reminder or reinforcement of the problem” (I must remember this)

Another one is this “When we focus too much on what’s wrong, it reminds us of other things we disapprove of or wish were different, which can lead us toward feelings of discouragement and being overwhelmed”


                As much as I can, I shall try to remind myself of these techniques or strategies in order to avoid dramas and too much stress.

  1. I was informed today that some of my overtime pay will be credited on this particular cut-off. I didn’t know how to react. I will have my pang-shopping and my sister’s school fee! Muhahahahahahahahah.

Aside from those, I realized that God and the Universe is really trying to make me feel better through small things that go unnoticed. Traffic wasn’t so bad today despite the fact that traffic was 10 million times heavier yesterday in Pasig compared to most days! It was insane. So I sort of expected another grueling battle with the traffic in Pasig. Surprisingly, it was moderate and actually a bit fast moving! My coffee has just the right amount of sugar and creamer. You see, being a batanguena I like my kapeng barako black. But my mom insists on putting creamer and sugar in it para hindi daw masyadong matapang. I don’t like creamy coffees and yesterday, my coffee is way too creamy for my liking. Today, it was just perfect! Another thing is that, payroll has been credited early!! Compared to other companies, our payroll gets credited later than everyone else’s kaya hallelujah talaga sa salary kanina! HAHAHA.

Ayan na si Kyx 😂


Paepal lang 😂

Yung pinagpeprepare pa ako ni mama ng baon ☺️

Mama and Aila 😘

Lastly, siguro hinga lang ng malalim, tapos laban lang ulit!

Drama Rama

Lately, I have been so stressed out. I keep thinking about how my life is turning out, how things are always a problem, how everything is just making me suffer.

(Tagalog Post)

Medyo mababaw lang ang pinagumpisahan nito hanggang sa pabigat na ng pabigat ang mga naiisip ko. Minsan pumapasok pa rin sa isip ko yung ano kaya kung mamatay nalang ako kasi nakakapagod na. *naiiyak nanaman ako habang sinusulat ko ‘to* hayyy buhayyy, masyado akong emosyonal.

Bihira akong bumili ng para sa akin, madalas libro lang talaga ang ginagastusan ko. Nagkakasya lang ako lagi sa iisang sapatos hanggang sa masira koi to bago ako bumili ng panibago. Yung mga damit ko, paulit ulit lang din, siguro may mga 2 weeks worth of office clothes lang ako pero hindi naman yun ang pinuputok ng butche ko. Sa sobrang stressed out ko siguro, gusto kong magshopping. Tamang tama, sasahod na ulit tapos bayad na lahat ng kailangan bayaran na mga bills! Habang chinecheck out ko ang reviews ni Kat sa mga skin care product, yun yung naisip kong bilhin! Dual purpose din kasi, pansamantalang matatanggal stress ko tapos magagamit ko pa sa balat kong namumutakte na ng tigyawat sa sobrang stressed. Pumunta na ako dun sa website na sinabi ni Kat, konti lang yung productong bibilhin ko, yung mga talagang kailangan ko lang sa muka ko na malapit na mawalan ng pag-asa hahaha so nung ichecheck out ko na, mga 1700php na siya, pinigilan ko sarili ko. Naalala ko na may tuition fee akong babayaran. Sabi ko sige next time nalang.

Hindi ako nag-OT, kasi gusto ko makasama mama ko eh. Kaya pagka-out umuwi na ako kaagad, mga bandang 8pm nasa bahay na ako. Tapos yung kapatid ko 8:30pm na nakauwi. Naglugaw daw sila ng pamangkin naming (kasing edad niya yun anak ng kuya ko, wag na natin idiscuss hahah) araw araw late yan umuuwi, hindi na alam kung paano pang pagsasabihan dahil talagang matigas ang ulo eh.

Nalulungkot lang ako kasi lahat ng paghihirap ko, iyan ang nakikita ko. Nakakawalan ng gana. Naghihirap ako para sa wala, ganon yung pakiramdam ko. Hindi naman niya kasalanan na hindi siya binibigyan ng ama niya ng pang-tuition, wala naman akong magagawa doon. Si mama naman, buong buhay niya siya lang sumuporta samin, binigyan kami ng magandang buhay, pinagtapos sa magagandang paaralan, kaya ito nalang yung maisusukli ko, ang patigilin siya sa pagtatrabaho para hindi na siya magkasakit. Matanda na mama ko, 54 na yata siya o mag-54 na siya sa October. May mga nararamdaman na din siya na masakit kaya hindi na pwedeng magwork ng magwork pa. Para lang maibsan na yung stress niya at makapagpahinga naman siya, ako nalang nagpaaral sa kapatid ko. Kaya lang ang sakit sa dibdib na yung kapatid ko naman, hindi niya pinapahalagahan yung ibinibigay sakanyang pribilehiyo.

Okay ang grades niya sige, pero yung tigas ng ulo, attitude at pagpapahalaga sa mga taong nagmamahal sakanya, ang hirap.

Sa isip isip ko, pera lang naman yan, mabibili ko rin naman mga gusto ko in time, mabuti nga at wala pa akong anak, hindi rin ako makapag anak anak dahil siya ang inuuna ko sa lahat ng bagay, kaya lang masakit talaga sa dibdib na ganyan pa. Pinapasakit pa ulo ni mama. Siguro iisipin ng iba nagseself pity ako hahahahahahahahahataenanyohahaha joke. Pero kasi, kung mabait bait siguro tong kapatid ko, bale wala sakin lahat ng paghihirap ko eh.

Kagabi naiiyak na talaga ako, pero hindi ako makaiyak. Never umiyak o nagsabi ng ganito ang mama ko sakin kahit nahihirapan na siya, biruin niyo 4 kami na pinagaaral ni mama noon, 2 college, 1 high school,  grade school pero wala akong narinig na sinabi niyang hirap na hirap na siya.

Nung hindi ko na mapigilan ang iyak ko, natulog na ako agad kasi baka matuluyan pa ang pagdadrama ko.

Pag gising ko, okay na ako! HAHAHAHAHAAHHAAH

Nagdadasal nalang ako na sana, bigyan pa ako ng lakas ng diyos. Bigyan pa ako ng emotional strength at patatagin pa ang tiwala ko Sa Kanya.

Hanggang sa susunod na drama rama!

Xox, Thea

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

I don’t even know if it’s okay to divulge what I truly feel in here hahaha. Pero ayun na nga, ayoko na sa work ko. 😥

I like what I do, I get to write every day, I see my work on print, I see my work on social media. I’m satisfied. Ganern.

But when it comes to the company benefits, annual increase and everything for employee’s welfare, bagsak kulang sira sabog nakakainis kawawa nakakaiyak.

My salary is okay, I can live with it. Hindi naman ako maluho and I’d like to think that I’m so good with budgeting everything so my number 1 concern isn’t even my career progress, growth and promotion. My concern is how will I get a health card for my mom. In this company, we have an HMO but we can’t have dependents kaya napapaisip na ako. I want to let this job go and explore other options but I can’t seem to find anything. It’s so hard to find a new job pala talaga jusme!!!

Iniisip ko bumalik nalang kaya ako sa BPO? I was once a call center agent at Telus, I loved it there. CompenBen are amazing, they love their employees and treat them as human beings but vacation leaves don’t get to be approved easily, the shifting schedules are crazy and I wanted to be a career woman back then. Ngayon parang okay na akong hindi career woman basta may HMO lang sana yung mama ko diba.

Life ang hirap mo naman.

Alis na ba ako dito? Pano ba to? Hahah!

Pinagpapasa-Diyos ko nalang muna sa ngayon hahahah huhuhuhu

VIRAL

UPDATE:

I don’t think people understood what I was saying or maybe they did tapos ako yung hindi nakaintindi hahahaha. But what I am really trying to say and pointing out is how teka, ayan nafigure out ko na, how people love seeing other people’s lives go viral. How other feel the need to make something viral when they are bashing someone.

Cases in point: Kabit VS Legal Wife, Ex-BF VS Ex-GF retaliating every single detail why they finally broke up. Naniningil VS Nangutang ; Posts usually start off with “Pasikatin natin ito” shaming other people for what they have done.

Ayan shet, nagkakalinaw yung pinoproblema kong hindi ko naman dapat iniisip HAHAHAHA


In line with what I have written yesterday HERE let’s clarify the difference of social relevance, rants and parinigs over social media.

When something is of social relevance like the public must really be involved, something about a crime, a video of people being harassed in traffic, while stuck in traffic or something about a social issue, it’s okay especially if social media is the only way to trace the person you’re trying to pursue.

For instance, I came across a video today that went viral when an elder woman harassed a twenty year old something young lady in a public transportation. In that post, she said that she’s posting it so that she can find that person who harassed her so she can press charges or like at least have her parents talk to that person. So that’s actually something reasonable at least, for me. (or is it not acceptable? Nalilito na ako mamshie)

Then if you rant on your social media or make parinig, I don’t think I get to have a say in it (since I rant so much on twitter) We are all responsible over what we post on social media and if someone calls you out, it’s on you. As for your readers, friends or followers, they can just mute or unfollow, it’s their call.

While writing this, I have contradictions toward my ideas. HALP! What can you say about this issue? Tara let’s discuss! HEHE ❤

 

Social Media: The New Burn Book?

DISCLAIMER: My thoughts, my opinions. Let’s discuss in a healthy manner. HAHA

STOP MAKING SOCIAL MEDIA YOUR MODERN DAY BURN BOOK.

I guess we could all say that social media is indeed VERY powerful.

About 5 years ago, my thesis research is about social media and its effects to OFWs and their families. Back then, majority of what we wrote and found out are the positive effects and how it helps the communication in families even when they are miles apart. Now, everything has changed!

Was it for the good or the greater evil?

Recently, I have been seeing “awareness” posts, unleashing the “true colors” of other people for all the world wide web to see. Posts here and there from cheating stories, being a kabit (home wrecker) to a person not paying his/her debts, screenshots of convos, pictures of the people they’re shaming and the list goes on. Different styles, different dramas, same goal = revenge. Revenge by what? Shaming other people? Would that resolve things? I mean they could say “that’s their only way”, why not involve the local barangay, the police, your family, power and other stuff? Other normal and civil stuff.      I mean social media is being used as a tool, the modern burn book of society.

I came across a Facebook post recently about a girlfriend cheating on her boyfriend for the last 7 years. The guy posted the whole story, dropped the names of the guys that his girlfriend apparently had sex with while being on a relationship with him. Unleashing every single dirty detail about that girl he loved for 7 years. Maybe out of spite? Out of anger and uncontrolled emotions? But posting horrible things like that, flaunting the pictures and screenshots of convos without blurring out the names of people who are involved and the like does not even resolve anything. That does not even take away the pain you actually feel of being cheated on. That’s plain pathetic, immature and well—stupid.

I’m not saying that hey, I can solve things easily with other methods instead of posting nasty things, sending screenshots and all but there are a ton of ways to actually solve things. I am not into violence ah, pero sapakin mo na kung may problema ka, di yung post post ka pa, screenshot screenshot pa eh.

Or if you don’t even want to resolve anything with that person, might as well move on, write in your blog, pour out your feelings WITHOUT harming other people’s reputation, dropping name bombs and all that.

I have been through painful shit with my ex-friends but I never wrote their names nor posted their shit on social media because that wouldn’t make me gain anything. And at the end of the day, it’ll make me look pathetic and helpless. I write whatever I feel, I write and have written what I went through as a coping mechanism, something that will help me heal but I didn’t say their names or showed their photos. I’d never do that not because I want to be friends with them still, but because aside from them being my friends for a long time na may pinagsamahan talaga kami, I wouldn’t want to destroy them and blow things out of proportion even more than it has already been 😉

Also, think about the families of these people you’re bashing on social media. They will definitely be affected diba, They don’t deserve that.

If it’s a personal issue or a concern between someone else, don’t involve the public and those who are not to be involved. It’s best to keep it to yourselves and not post crappy things like this.

(May hugot ako sa screenshots? Lol) But diba, it’s weak kasi eh. If you want to argue with someone, awayin mo nalang in person, awayin mo sa groupchat nyo (hehhezz) pero to post for everyone to see? Seriously?

If then that it’s a social issue concerning the country and stuff like that, it’s okay but making Facebook and other social media platforms your burn book? That’s wrong in so many levels.

I am also not saying that it’s okay to be cheated on or it’s okay to be fooled and stuff. All these things that cause so much emotional trauma and pain to others are not right nor will it ever be, I’m just saying that there are other ways to heal and move on without causing havoc and paninira. Cause then if what you’re saying is true, it will resurface one way or another without you—having to say it. Just my opinion heh.

UPDATE: If parinig and rants naman, it’s okay, we all do that we go through stuff like that na nagpaparinig and nagrarant, pero to the point na malalantad muka nung kaaway mo just because super galit ka na or irita ka na at nag-viral na di rin yata maganda? Iba din effects and repercussions not just sa inyong mga involved but to the people. Personal matters, hindi magandang nakikisawsaw ang mga hindi naman kilala.

 

photos not mine, taken from google.