I thought about it and I realized that being a better person is not so much of a burden as I make it to be on most days.
I get a lot of things gathered inside my head until I suffer from too much emotional torture. I keep trying to be better but it’s a bit harder than I expected—until I realized that it shouldn’t be as hard as I’d like it!
How? It’s easy. Stop living your life the way others treat you. The way they talk to you, value you has nothing to do with how you should be. Changing your ways is nice, if it’s changing for the better. But if you find yourself changing just because that’s how you should reciprocate others’ actions, then that’s not good. Plus it makes your life hard!
What am I trying to say? It’s simple.
- If other people turn a cold shoulder, you feel like ‘oh yeah? Fine. Then I shall give you the cold treatment too!’ even if you don’t want to, even if that’s not how you are as a person. If someone is cold to you, it doesn’t mean you have to be cold to them (unless you like it like that but in my case) I can never be like that especially for people I truly care about. I mean I can let someone be, if you don’t want to talk to me then I can give you space. But if you come back to your senses and decided to talk to me, then I will talk to you as well. I won’t take the vengeful route of giving you the taste of your own medicine. I can’t be like that. I tried but I’m too soft hahahahaha.
- If people are mean to you, doesn’t mean you need to be mean to them too. Like number 1, giving other people the taste of their own medicine doesn’t always work out especially if you’re too kind. You’d end up feeling worse than you already felt so might as well just let them be. But still, be firm. I’m not saying you should let other people trample all over you. Just don’t be like them.
- Continue trying to be better even if they criticize you and accuse you of being “fake”. I have my fair share of being accused as “playing the victim”, paawa, pabebe, faking it etc etc but this is how I really am eh! I can’t be too cruel. I have said mean things about other people but I realize my mistakes as soon as I made them! If I say sorry, I mean it. If I say I miss a person, I mean it. You can’t fake emotions, can you?
So I guess I’m past the stage where I wanted them to feel what I felt. I have learned a lot through all of my life experiences but that didn’t make me cruel. All cruel and life changing experiences I went through made me tough but that doesn’t mean I’d have a bitch comeback. I’m glad I took this route and it made me love myself more. I love myself more now than I ever did when I had a lot of friends. Now I realized that as long as I love myself better, I should be okay.