Is it so hard to take mental health seriously? It’s not something people claim to have, it’s a serious illness that people need to go through every fucking waking day of their damned lives. Do us a favour, if you can’t understand it, educate yourselves and stop being ignorant fucks.
I cannot contain how angry I am not only at people who do not care enough about other people’s mental health but also with the situation. Though if everyone are educated enough about this, then we could have all skipped this drama and this entry wouldn’t have been created by me—someone who has depression, anxiety and OCD.
So let’s shove my depression and anxiety at the back of the shelf because that’s what I normally do anyway. I try to ignore it as best as I could and most of the time, I am successful. Then let’s talk about my OCD.
Again, people, OCD is not limited to the obsessive “cleanliness” of a person. Do I really have to look it up for you and paste it here so that you could understand what is OCD? (rolling my eyes and breathing so heavy and furiously)
According to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) website, OCD or Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder is a common, chronic and long-lasting disorder in which a person has UNCONTROLLABLE REOCURRING THOUGHTS and BEHAVIORS that he or she feels the urge to repeat over and over. However, that definition does not necessarily mean that you see a person repeat stuff over and over because that’s the most common thing about OCD and maybe that’s how it is projected on TV shows and movies.
My OCD is and not limited to.. not wanting PERSONAL belongings to be used by other people, even if it’s family and friends, even if it’s people closest to my heart that I love very much so. Some examples are:
- I have my OWN spoon and fork that I use and it means that’s the only pair that I prefer to use. Aside from that fact, I DON’T WANT OTHERS TO USE IT.
- My hair ties, head bands and stuff I put on my hair is MINE for a sole purpose to be used BY ONLY ME.
- I have a mug that I use for drinking apple cider vinegar THAT ONLY I CAN USE. I have a tumbler for my water, a mug for when I put chia seeds on my drink and a different tumbler for tea and coffee. Basically, I own about 4 cups/tumbler that I use on a daily basis.
- My handkerchiefs are not to be used by ANYONE ELSE BUT ME. No matter how much you wash it, have it dry cleaned and stuff, that thing is mine. You can borrow my clothes, phone, books and all that but not my hanky.
It’s so hard for someone like me because, fuck, I always have to buy an extra comb, extra hair tie, extra any shit because if people borrow it from me, I want to lend it to them. Imagine how much I put to account other people’s feelings toward borrowing my stuff and shoving my OCD up my ass just so people wouldn’t get hurt? I am so fucking fucking fucking done with myself putting into account, prioritizing other people’s feelings but they never fucking understands my condition, my disorder and the shit I have to deal with every fucking day.
You see, this may seem trivial but these things are not to be used by anyfuckingone but me so help me God. It breaks my heart that people think I am being irrational and petty but oh god, try to at least understand that people are different from you and that maybe, they have a mental disorder that you don’t have so to be fair and kind, just try to fucking understand without judging.