Sometimes, on gloomy days, I get to thinking about the things I wish I had done, things I wish I didn’t do, things I should’ve said, things I should have kept to myself. Sometimes I think about how I acted on a certain situation—whether it was for the better or had it led me to some hell.
On gloomy days just like this, when the sun is fighting for its way but the rain and thunder and lightning is too overpowering, I get to thinking about the decisions I made.
I was told that when something happens, it happens for a reason greater than my own imagination. Bigger than me, bigger than my expectations. I was told things happen and its never a predetermination nor a predestination. It just happened cause it’s supposed to happen. It happened because that’s something written on my life story.
I sit here looking at the light pink, sun still peaking, a blend of purple and light blue covering the sky, droplets on the window pane and wonder if I am supposed to be certain with my life right now or be okay with how clueless I have been ever since getting my degree.
I sit here as my mind races, scrambles and picks up to where my boss started to stop looking at me, pretending that I do not exist. My mind tries to trace what happened or if he is just too busy? Nevertheless, I’d leave this company soon enough so why should I bother right?
Oh well, in gloomy days like this, my mind is just as melty as the mud that was caused by the rain.