How To Not Feel Like This?

Last night, I allowed myself to cry again for about 3-5 minutes before sleeping. I keep thinking about the friends I had back then, those who “got my back” for almost 10 years. 10 years, all went down the drain, all went down in the garbage like useless trash. I don’t even think about whose fault is it, I just keep thinking how long will I allow myself to be in so much pain. How far will I have to go in order to learn what I need to learn. How long will I have to wait in order to accept everything.

I don’t even long for the friendship, I am sure the feeling is mutual and that we can no longer go back. I have accepted that fact. The thing I continue to dwell on is the closure I never got.

And why the hell do I need closure? I’m not even sure anymore.

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