I wrote this on April 6, 2017. A day before my birthday. Even before my (ex) friends pitted on me. My gosh am I a psychic or what?
Sometimes we just can’t have it all, I mean all the time. Life works that way and it’s hard to understand but that’s how it goes.
There are times when I am completely happy and contented, satisfied with everything I have, it seems like I understand both the good and bad and I love myself more then all of a sudden, something happens and the panic attack is back. The anxiety is back and your OCD is not helping. That’s just how it is for me and breathing in and out is not as easy as it should, of course, for someone with anxiety disorder, that’s basically one of the toughest things you need to do in order to “keep your shit together”.
With my ups and downs, I’ll be more intimate in this post. I’m more personal.
- In times when I doubt myself being capable of keeping a relationship strong, a friendship smooth sailing. In times I worry about what I’ve said and done and that people might hate me, I’ll have to remember that life isn’t perfect, my friends aren’t perfect, everyone is not perfect and therefore if in any case I did something wrong and I truly regretted it, I shall be forgiven at the right time.
- If other people do not like me, so be it. I don’t need to think over and over what the hell did I do wrong, what am I missing and what I did or did not do for me to not be liked the way I wanted to be liked. Because truthfully, people will not like me just as naturally. The same as I wouldn’t like everybody else right? So I have to remember that life works the way it does and I can’t do anything about it.
- Heartbreaks are inevitable. It’s a part of life as breathing is and nothing teaches us better than breaking us apart. Romantically, I wouldn’t have learned how to be a better partner to Kyx if I didn’t break my heart years before I met him. I wouldn’t even have met him if I didn’t break my heart right? So really, heartbreaks are blessings in disguise!
- When relationships fall apart sometimes, you can’t do anything but accept the fact that even people are temporary in our lives, no matter how important and valuable they may seem to us. In the unexpected turns of life, relationships may fall apart and if there’s nothing else you can do, accept that nothing lasts forever.
- I have been betrayed numerous times and I may have betrayed someone as well but the thing about betrayals is that it’s going to hurt but again, like heartbreaks, it’s going to teach you valuable lessons in life. Lessons that you will never forget.
Now, in low times, pick yourself up, read stuff like this, read this entry and you’ll probably feel a lot better.
WOAH. So I wrote this even before everything fell apart!!! My gosh, it’s amusing. It’s as if myself wrote an advice for my future self to read!!!