I need an outsider’s point of view, no biases. Because I need to wrap my head around something.
This is not a pity party.
If you haven’t heard of my story just yet, please take a peek at these links and you shall find out.
- Burning Bridges
- What The Frick Happened?! Congratulations for successfully pinning me down and shaming me!
- I Lost Them but I am Not Friendless
- Stop The Blame Game
- It Has Been 12 Days Since I was Torn Apart
Anyway, life hasn’t been really great lately but I am holding up. Really. I am not crying about it and that’s a huge deal because mostly, I cry about a lot of things, even the simplest ones! So it’s totally an achievement to not cry over things like this. Great.
Here’s the thing:
You’ve been friends all your life, you know each other very well but there were times you threw snide comments, lash out, got irritated and annoyed at one point, maybe a lot of times, but you were there when they needed a friend. You weren’t such a fake ass bitch all along but you had your moments and a fair share of rudeness and bitchiness that you thought was okay at that time. When you felt really bad about what you did, you make up for it and be really nice. But then again, no friendship is perfect and you still blew some parts off. Then you don’t know exactly what triggered everything but then all of a sudden, your friends ganged up on you in a very spiteful manner, sending screenshots of conversations, stuff you told them in confidence, it was so horrible and embarrassing. But just to be clear, it’s not all you. You were with another friend/friends, and that friend is agreeing and throwing snide comments as well in it for the bitch party you may or may not have started. However, you’re the only focus. The things you did and said from years back were pulled through again and was thrown in front of your face for the whole world to see. Again, these people are you friends since forever.
Do you have a “do differently” or you actually deserve it?
I deserve to have lost these people as friends, I know that. But do I deserve what happened? Exactly what happened? Does anyone deserve it? To be treated like that? This is not a cry for help but a call for definite and honest answers. This is not me playing victim, but I really want to understand why. I need to know if you were on the other side of the boat, will you have humiliated your friend as well? Would you have done the same? Please tell me. I really need to know because I’m being pushed over the edge of suicide. I know I wouldn’t do it, but I am just about to open that unpleasant idea. Don’t take this as a warning, I am not warning anyone, I just really want to be honest with what I am feeling and where I stand as of the moment.
I need your answers. It’s important to me. I wanna hear you.