How many times did we ever say we’re going to try and change for the better? How many times then did we fail?
I think it’s always only a matter of time and learning experience in order for you to truly change. It takes some tough lessons that should be learned the hard way but all these bad experiences mean a whole lot to your being and to your future self.
I once was a great “back biting” snide commenter, ranter and whatnot. I do rant a lot about my friends to other friends and we join in together with the rants making ourselves feel better. Or that’s just me? I often rant and I want someone to hear me out and somewhat agree to what I was trying to say which makes me feel better but what’s wrong is that I harbour these negative emotions toward other people and I get other people to somewhat be on my side. And that’s a whole lot of crap you know?
I’ve been really a bad friend and I know that. I owned up to that and my mistakes will never have enough explanation but the question is that is it only I who made the dumb mistakes? Was it only me? How about the other people who ranted as well? Are they not liable or accused of the same thing I did? What about when they were the one who ranted and I just joined in, was it not counted?
But no, no more blame game no more pointing of fingers. My mistakes are mine and I will not blame other people for that, I will also own up to it and I would always apologize for it. There’s no reason to put the blame on other people. There’s no reason to justify my own actions toward a certain person. Because what I did may probably only influenced by a situation or a person or an action but it was still my choice to commit that mistake.
I am not a saint but I am not that sort of monster too. I know where I stand, I know what I did and what I should be held accounted for but don’t go telling me that YOUR actions are to be blamed on me because those were your doing. I may have lighted and triggered something but what you said was from your mouth and I did not put it there alone all on and by myself.
Get my point?
What I am saying is that we have our own mistakes and there’s no point in blaming other people. At least own up to yours.
Now I can only think of being a better and more genuine person! I will really be a better person, work on my mistakes and flaws. Be someone more patient, genuine and understanding. Stop judging and be more careful with the words I throw. I am glad that this thing happened because if not, I maybe would’ve been the same mean person that I was.