If not all, most of us have that person in our life. The one that falls under the list of “could have been”. Someone that just can’t simply go on the “just friends” list but also couldn’t go beyond the “more than friends” list. Just on the gray part. Never on the black, never on the white.
To help you understand where I’m coming from, let’s give this story telling a chance. I was blogging ever since 2004 I think? Then I met this blogger guy in 2008. We constantly read each other’s blog until we got to the point that we reached a more personal level. Like blogging is not enough, we would text each other and even talk on the phone but we were just really good friends! We didn’t date, we didn’t get to that point. But we met once.
I was part of our school theatre. I wrote in my blog an invite for our first play and then he told me he’d come and watch. He did. I met him. I was too awkward so maybe we didn’t get to talk that much but we continued texting each other. We’d often read each other’s blogs every now and then but that’s it. Our communication just ended abruptly and I don’t know what happened until he went to the States and migrated. I never saw him even before he went to the States so..
I guess we both liked each other a lot back then but there was no chance for us to explore these feelings because the timing was so off? I think it was 2010 when I had the courage to tell him that I did sort of feel something, no. scratch that. I told him that I have loved him but the timing was off and it couldn’t have worked. It was funny because there were no hurt, no awkward feeling, no nothing. Just sheer fun and joy.
We remained friends, until now we were friends.
I think my point is, I never really got over what we had because there was nothing to get over with anyway? Hahahah. I mean sometimes, no. Most of the time, I still think about that person.
You wouldn’t be able to help it! You still care for that person and of course you wish them well. Like there’s no hurting or hatred. It’s just pure love. Ya know what I mean? Like you just really care and love that person without even thinking if you can be with them or not.
So to my—The One That Got Away,
You know the lump that forms in your throat when you’re about to say something right but not what you really wanted to say? It’s this one. I mean, I really love being your friend. No matter how long it has been since we last spoken, I still feel like nothing has changed between us. We’re still the good friends that we are before! We’re still the same people but we have changed? I don’t know how to put it but a lot has changed yet we’re still the same? Ahh. I just really. Well. Wanted to thank you for being that person. Maybe we didn’t end up together because we’re better people when we were friends? Or am I just saying this? But really, I am happy with the thought that somewhere in the planet, you are also happy. See you soon!