I Will Certainly Miss You

I lost count how many times have a grieved. How many deaths of a loved one I have faced. How many lives were taken too soon and how do I get over this again?

Mama Belle is our neighbour from when I was 5 years old until I turn 17. She lived close by and she have 2 children, Kat the same age as me and Carlo, the younger one. Kat became an instant best friend and playmate. We went to different schools on our early childhood but we always played outside.

When my mom had to go work abroad, I have countless times spent with my neighbour, Mama Belle. She even sew a school skirt for me and one time, I burned my skirt when I was ironing it carelessly, she patched it up without me asking. She told me to give her my skirt and she’ll return it in a bit. She patched my holed up skirt!

When I turned 17, that’s our last year as neighbors. We relocated but at the same town so I visited as often as I could! I would see her from time to time, and just last year, August 2016, that’s the last time I saw her and that’s the last time I would be seeing her.

I failed to visit her when she was hospitalized because I was at the hospital myself running all the bloodwork asked by the doctor, waiting for results and stuff like that. I feel so bummed right now.

Now, my friend Kat told me Mama Belle died already. Today, she passed away and I can’t believe it. So this is really how it feels when you lose someone close to you, when you lose someone close to your heart.

If you die, would you still have thoughts? Would you even go like “Omg, I died?!?!” would they see the people mourning for them, would they still feel the love or would it be just an empty space? Or would they just really die and it’s the end? I’d like to think that they can still see and hear us. Like they can feel us and that they know we love us. I’d like to think that they are okay and that we can take comfort in knowing that they are finally with the heavenly father now. If I could just let you hear me, if you could just see me now, I’d tell you how grateful I am that I got to know someone like you.

You may have died but I will forever treasure you in my heart.


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