How To Let Go Of Being Mean?

There were times when you just get really irritated and annoyed because someone is being “annoying” or “irritating”. Like their presence annoy the shit out of you, everything they say and do could be really irritating and you ignore them and treat them like shit. Even if the person lives freely and doesn’t do anything to hurt you, you still look at them and roll your eyes toward them because… because… because they’re simply being themselves. Period. See? They’re just being themselves but what do you do? You take it against them. Imagine if you are treated the way you treat other people? It sucks right? So just let go of being mean now.

How to do that? It’s simple! Appreciate yourself more. Understand that if you can’t be someone, you’re probably best to be yourself and focus on your own strengths instead of your weakness. From there, you will learn that your weaknesses help you become a better person. So instead of hating other people, being annoyed or irritated, appreciate them and their efforts toward a nicer life.

Being mean to someone doesn’t make you any happier. Instead, it makes you a lot more burdened and stressed out ad that’s sad right? Stressing yourself for no apparent reason is rather a telling tale of how awful your attitude towards life. So no, start liking yourself more so that you like other people more!

If you begin to like and appreciate yourself and what you can do, you’ll definitely like and appreciate what others can do and who they are.

If you seem to dislike a lot of other people, then maybe you don’t like yourself very much right? And that’s just lonely.

So the secret to being happy and likeable and okay is to start within you then the rest follows.

Almost 26!

I was recently looking at my blog archives and guess what, IT’S A YEAR NOW SINCE I OPENED THIS BLOG! Hurray! This is my blog’s 1st anniversary and I would be making a 1 year anniversary post in a while. However, since this blog is 1 year old, it means that I’m also about to turn a year older!

What have I learned for the past year? What have I gone through? What happened to me? What changed? What progressed? Where I am now emotionally and mentally?

First, I have learned so much about myself. I learned to embrace my flaws and appreciate my strengths. I think I even started liking myself more!

Second, I feel like I have gone through shit and what amazes me is instead of being bitter about all the problems I encountered, I’m rather grateful and I loved life more! Looking back, I can’t even remember everything that has been part of my anxiety, depression and stress. According to “Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff…Omnibus” if it will not matter say 5 years from now, then don’t stress yourself too much about it. So I guess I should move forward and master that perspective and it will all be good.

Third, I gained more knowledge and wisdom (not that I am filled with it but I guess I learned new things). I gained new friends, learned to trust other people, learned to let go of people who do not give me importance, learned to value the ones that have been there, learned to understand more!

Fourth, what changed is pretty much my life perspective. I changed the way I look at things and I try my best to be as positive and as loving as I can.

Fifth, I guess my emotional and mental state improved. Although it’s hard to really let go and lighten up every day, I’m sure I’m doing okay.

The favourite thing I have learned though is getting rid of hate and insecurities. I love that I love myself more. I love that I see people in a brighter note, I love that I appreciate people even if I didn’t like them at first! I love that I don’t really dislike other people anymore. I used to get annoyed or irritated by people even if they’re not doing something to hurt me or even if they’re not generally mean to me or what. Now, I just appreciate everyone! I only get a little annoyed or irritated if that person is doing something that is really really annoying!

Now, even if I am an introvert and I don’t really like socializing that much, I still appreciate people and I find them cool or cute. I don’t get irritated or I don’t secretly hate on them. I genuinely like them now and it feels good. Aside from that, I don’t even have a reason to get mad at someone if they’re not doing anything mean right? So I suggest, if you’re still on that phase, let it go.

Powerful and Meaningful Advice From My Mom

I am not a talker, I guess. I mean I am quite talkative when I’m writing but say in person? Nope. I keep a lot to myself and most of the time; I bottle my feelings only to have it explode on a later time. A massive explosion at that.

So I was very angry, furious even—the other day and I let myself simmer down just a bit then I messaged my mom and told her why I was on my boiling point. I felt like I really am just talking to a best friend who absolutely understands my point. Like I didn’t have to explain myself to her because she knows me very well.

But what I got from her was a powerful and meaningful message which I can apply to everyday life. My frustrations and disappointments would probably go down the drain if I keep on doing what she told me. She told me this. “Let go. Don’t stress yourself with unimportant things and people undeserving of your concern”. TRUE THAT! AMEN! ATTA GURL!! That’s so true. That’s real talk in millennial speak!

If you don’t stress yourself from unimportant things, you live happily. If you don’t stress yourself with people undeserving of your concern, you don’t get disappointed that often!

It sounds so easy but it isn’t and we all know that. However, if you keep trying it then you might actually master it then the next thing you know is you’re less stressed and happier!

Think about it. I hope this helps you ❤

Xox, T.

If They Don’t Like Being My Friend

If they don’t like you, they don’t like you. Period. And that’s not something you need to be sad about hun. That’s something you need to be okay with.

We are not in control of other people’s feelings, that’s why it’s always magic when you know people and become their friends. A person can even become your significant other!

So don’t get too sad when a person doesn’t like you for no reason at all. Don’t go questioning it, don’t get too affected by it because you know the silver lining on this? You wouldn’t know the happy and magical feeling of you and your friends’ connection if it weren’t for people who have no connection or spark or whatever it is with you. You will appreciate what you have more because you know the feeling when others do not like you while your friends love you unconditionally.

Friendship is a tricky thing in life. It makes and breaks you but the thing with friendship is that it is supposed to make you feel better about yourself and about life in general. Imagine having no friends at all? Imagine not having at least one friend? It’s sad right?

So instead of wishing for everyone to befriend you, make your built friendship stronger than ever.

The One That Got Away

If not all, most of us have that person in our life. The one that falls under the list of “could have been”. Someone that just can’t simply go on the “just friends” list but also couldn’t go beyond the “more than friends” list. Just on the gray part. Never on the black, never on the white.

To help you understand where I’m coming from, let’s give this story telling a chance. I was blogging ever since 2004 I think? Then I met this blogger guy in 2008. We constantly read each other’s blog until we got to the point that we reached a more personal level. Like blogging is not enough, we would text each other and even talk on the phone but we were just really good friends! We didn’t date, we didn’t get to that point. But we met once.

I was part of our school theatre. I wrote in my blog an invite for our first play and then he told me he’d come and watch. He did. I met him. I was too awkward so maybe we didn’t get to talk that much but we continued texting each other. We’d often read each other’s blogs every now and then but that’s it. Our communication just ended abruptly and I don’t know what happened until he went to the States and migrated. I never saw him even before he went to the States so..

I guess we both liked each other a lot back then but there was no chance for us to explore these feelings because the timing was so off? I think it was 2010 when I had the courage to tell him that I did sort of feel something, no. scratch that. I told him that I have loved him but the timing was off and it couldn’t have worked. It was funny because there were no hurt, no awkward feeling, no nothing. Just sheer fun and joy.

We remained friends, until now we were friends.

I think my point is, I never really got over what we had because there was nothing to get over with anyway? Hahahah. I mean sometimes, no. Most of the time, I still think about that person.

You wouldn’t be able to help it! You still care for that person and of course you wish them well. Like there’s no hurting or hatred. It’s just pure love. Ya know what I mean? Like you just really care and love that person without even thinking if you can be with them or not.

So to my—The One That Got Away,

You know the lump that forms in your throat when you’re about to say something right but not what you really wanted to say? It’s this one. I mean, I really love being your friend. No matter how long it has been since we last spoken, I still feel like nothing has changed between us. We’re still the good friends that we are before! We’re still the same people but we have changed? I don’t know how to put it but a lot has changed yet we’re still the same? Ahh. I just really. Well. Wanted to thank you for being that person. Maybe we didn’t end up together because we’re better people when we were friends? Or am I just saying this? But really, I am happy with the thought that somewhere in the planet, you are also happy. See you soon!

Xox,T.

What’s New?

I have written something and scheduled my posts but apparently, it didn’t go through again. I shall post them all soon—or even today if ya’ll don’t mind.

Uhm, what’s new? Nothing. I’m just trying to live super healthy as of the moment and hopefully, I can keep up with it.

I haven’t eaten pork since I don’t even remember anymore! I do yoga at least twice a day, before going to be and before getting ready for work. I ate a good portion controlled meal for breakfast, same for lunch and I plan on just having fluids for dinner today!

My gosh, yoga isn’t boring at all! It’s also not easy but I love it. I love doing yoga every day!

Unfortunately, no professional yoga class ever fits my schedule so I have to do it on my own through videos I see on YouTube. It’s very effective and helpful, geez.

I also got back to reading one whole passage from “Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff…Omnibus” daily. Before I start my day in general or before I work. It helps me have a more positive vibe to my day and that pretty much makes a great difference for my outlook in life on a daily basis.

Whenever I ask how you guys have been, no one really answers! But lemme ask again, how have you been? : )

 

Watercolor Chronicles: Is It Summer Yet?


One of the many things that can actually help me destress is through watercolor painting.

This painting is inspired by one of Maria’s paintings (her ig is @ maria_morjane)– a watercolor artist. She’s really amazing, friendly and an overall great person.

I used winsor and newton cotman set for the most parts but used Gouache at the same time.

Xx

Lo and Behold, The Angry INFJ

 

For the sake of everyone, I am not just talking about myself rather I am speaking of the whole INFJ universe out there. I don’t think it’s fair to generalize but seriously INFJs are not one of those you want to mess with.

If you haven’t done your research or if you are not familiar with Myers-Briggs theory, then let me sprinkle a few facts and anecdotes about INFJs.

  • INFJs in laymen’s term, the most introverted of all introverts.
  • We feel for everything. We have a lot of emotions and we’re empaths. We’re fuelled with feelings for people, things, situations, animals, environment, you name it!
  • We’re highly sensitive and we take almost everything (if not EVERYTHING) personally whether it is to be taken personally or not.
  • We find meaning on things and we simply dig deeper because we know that the surface is just a surface and it’s not enough.
  • We don’t get angry often but when we do, PREPARE FOR CHAOS. Prepare for a heart pounding, extremely scary scene.

So for the most part, it’s time to talk about why I am writing this. Simply because, I am fuming and infuriated and angry and hulking soooo bad that I could break someone’s neck. I am not one to be messed with. My friends know that.

You see me every day as a quiet individual. I don’t talk much and I love staying in the background. The limelight kills me and talking to people I am not comfortable with is another horror story. I’d gladly just sit back or get down to business like focus on work. Like, I love not being noticed. It’s like I hope and pray everyday that I don’t get to interact unnecessarily with people I am not comfy or chums with. In short, I pretty much enjoy being alone. But that doesn’t mean I do not have feelings and that I am to be the most hated girl in the universe.

It doesn’t mean I am shallow and scared because, NOPE. I AM NOT AND NEVER WILL I EVER GET FUCKING SCARED OF ANYONE EVEN WHEN MY LIFE DEPENDED ON IT.

So what happens if I get THIS mad? (“This” mad as in THIS MAD LIKE I CAN EAT A FUCKING UNIVERSE AND LAUGH MANIACALLY. LIKE MAD MAD. LIKE CRAZY ANGRY KIND OF MAD) I get really hot, I can practically feel my pulse, my heart races and my head pounding. I can smash anything and anyone, I am fuming and I can mouth a really foul language and no one would approve of what my mouth would blurt because why? I speak the truth, only the truth and if I get ticked off, YOU ARE GOING THE FUCK DOWN.

That’s how mad I am. And that’s how I get when I am fucking angry.

How do I explain this? I mean, I don’t get angry too often but when I do, the world can crumble and I wouldn’t give the slightest fucks. Get it? (I am really typing cuss words without even being discreet right now? I guess I am really so angry!)

You see people, no one likes to be treated like shit. No one likes to be treated the way I was treated today and the other days. I have been treated badly for the past few days, not being attacked but spreading despicable rumors about me aka trashing the comfort room. I for one, having an OCD can’t even go in peace in the office lavatory. It takes a whole bunch of secretly cleaning before I use it so spreading the rumor of me—trashing it is way beyond me. People can say that I am over reacting and being dramatic about this whole idea but my personality is just—I would never back down no matter how big or small the case is if my principle and dignity is at stake. Whether I am being accused of a comfort room trasher or a rapist or a thief or a liar or a bad person and I know that it is a lie, I will not back down. I can go all day telling you how much of a fucking cunt you are for accusing me and no, I will not stop.

I don’t like being accused of anything I am not. Who wants that anyway? It just so happened that I have let it pass for a couple of times and again, it happens like. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

I fumed my ass off and cried red hot tears at 9 in the morning. No I am not crying because I pity myself. I am crying because I am so damn hurt and angered! I am fuming!

If it wasn’t for my friends and if it wasn’t for utter respect, I could just be a shitface today. But no. I am writing this. And I shall be calmed down soon enough!

Xox, T.

“How Much Money Do You Have in Your Bank Account?”

I have a bad habit of being harsher than I intend only because I say things with no bullshit and no sugar coating. I don’t intend to mess around or make fun of anyone, I just literally say what I think, when I think it. So this may sound harsh and rude but I am only speaking the truth and stating facts. Don’t take it against me. LOL.

Case on point: Money, Savings, Spending, Bank Account, Money in the Bank

I find it really astonishing as to how some people react over other people’s money habits such as how they spend and how they save. I mean I couldn’t wrap around my head as to WHY THE FUCK YOU CARE ABOUT HOW OTHERS SPEND WHEN YOU ARE NOT IN ANY WAY AFFECTED BY IT? LOL.

  1. People have different upbringings, aspirations and goals. You can’t be a pushover and impose what you think is right and what works out for you because it might be different for other people. When I see someone spend so much money on things, I dismiss the idea of judging them right away because they might have really wanted to spend their money on that particular thing or they saved for that or anything.
  2. If people spend way above their needs and would borrow money from me when they have spent all their money, then I’d probably get annoyed and blame it on the “cause you didn’t prioritize shit first didn’t you?” only under that circumstance will I put my judgment on the table.
  3. Who are you to say something about other people’s savings and spending habits? You did not work for that money so might as well shut your piehole?

I mean really, some people may put their judgment first and say a lot of things about other people but hey, did you stop and think first before opening your mouth and putting your opinion out there? Cause last time I checked, I work damn hard for my money and everyone knows DAMN WELL I DO! I have enough money saved everytime I get my paycheque from work, enough to send my sister to school, enough to buy my needs, enough to fucking eat ramen on a weekly basis (if I may add that)

If you are also curious as to how hard I work? Well I WORK 6 DAMN DAYS A WEEK. I don’t get to have 2 day offs so you do not know me, you do not know how hard I work and you don’t have any say or any right on how I live my life. You can go judge your own self for judging other people.

Xox,T.

Weekend Update: (March 17, 18, 19)

Let’s try my consistency when it comes to my “Weekend Update” segment for the Life of an Introvert

Friday March 17, 2017

  • It was a super busy day for me at work. I scraped out all my pending work for the month of May and hustle like I never hustled before. I wasn’t able to see Kyx for a day (and night lol) because I slept at my Mom’s house Thursday night. So to give recognition to my hard work both emotionally and mentally, Kyx and I decided to have dinner at Roadhouse Texas Grill (I freaking forgot the exact name but all I know is Roadhouse Texas whatever) I had a Boneless BBQ Chicken with special rice and mixed buttered vegetables while Kyx had Flat Ironed Steak with Mashed Potato and Shredded Corn. I also ordered a glass of Mojito because why the hell not? Here are our food! It’s really good, the price is just right for it and I guess we both enjoyed it. I enjoyed it (I think Kyx did too lol)


Saturday March 18, 2017

  • Work day for me again. I hustled and tried to finish as much as I can so I wouldn’t have to dread Monday so much LOL. My friend Dinah, brought cooked dried fish called Danggit (from Cebu) and we devoured those bad boys for lunch. I loved it so much! Good thing I brought red rice (I can’t eat white rice anymore. I know right, it sucks. Good thing there’s red rice haha) After work, I went out with a few of my office mates and joined them at the nearest Starbucks because Kyx would be 30mins late. After a good chitchat with them (I think we still talked about work but whatev) Kyx arrived and so Dinah and I said bye bye to our friends.
  • We dropped Dinah off nearby and Kyx & I went to the dentist for our scheduled teeth cleaning. After that, we went home and did our own thing. I painted 4 little paintings while Kyx worked on his painting project for work. I also watched This is Us and fell asleep while watching. I couldn’t even remember what happened because when I woke up, I have no memory of Kyx telling me to move and all that. When I woke up Sunday morning, my paint materials, book, laptop is neatly placed on top of my study table. I guess Kyx fixed it hahahaha. (Aww)

Sunday March 19, 2017

  • Happy Happy Birthday to my college best friend, Bea Bianca!! I made a photo collage for her and I’ll share it with you guys below.

  • Woke up sorta brunch-ish so we weren’t able to eat breakfast. I just read and finished the book by Jennifer Niven called Holding Up The Universe. I love how light it is while tackling very sensitive and relevant life issues. The story is not too heavy to bear in the heart but it’s really deep and relatable. I love it! I loved it so much!

  • We were supposed to eat Ramen for early dinner but Kyx is still not finished working on his painting so we had to cancel dinner plans. When he finished his painting, we watched a Korean movie. I liked it but not as much as I always did on other films.

My weekend pretty much sounds boring and monotonous, to be honest, I didn’t even feel it. Like it just swung by and the next thing I know it’s already Monday! Nonetheless, I like that I was able to do stuff I wanted for the weekend. I am thinking of cheese sticks to incorporate on my next weekend. Looking forward to it already! YAHOO!