A Valentine’s Special: Through Heartbreaks

You know what, in my 25 years (almost 26 years) of existence, I can’t remember how many times my heart got broken. There are different heartbreaks and a variety of scenarios but since this is supposed to be a Valentine’s Special, I would be writing about heartbreaks due to broken relationships. (I tried downplaying it and even wanted to be so general but that’s going to be a boring post)

As a person dwelling to happiness and hope, I find it a bit hard to locate the sad parts of my life, the moments I got my heart broken and the times I let my heart go broken. I don’t want to remember all of it not because I would feel terrible but I feel like it’s in the past where it should be. It wasn’t even worth talking about anymore and I feel like I am wasting my time as I write this but whatever.

The frist real heart break I felt was when my first real boyfriend and I broke up. It was during summer break, nearing senior year and I felt so devastated. Looking back, I feel like it broke my heart because for the first time, I realized what letting go meant and I wasn’t ready for that! I wasn’t matured enough for that and that’s only when I realized why our elders would tell us that being in a relationship at a younger age is nothing but trouble. Though after that I realized that it’s all about learning, it’s all about the path you will be taking after every heartbreaks.

I also learned that—that wouldn’t be the last time because my heart will be broken many many times! But every after heart break, I learned to deal with it with strength and bravery. With hope that I can love again even after the shattering of my heart.

I also broke hearts of different people and that’s not something I am proud of. I don’t feel cold or wicked when I think about it but maybe, I feel sorry for having to break someone’s heart. It’s not in my nature to be little miss cruella de ville but you know, we make mistakes and we make decisions that would only make us happy while others get sad.

I can’t remember how many tears I’ve cried for the wrong reasons, for the wrong persons. I can’t remember how my heart feels literally broken and nonchalant because I have waved goodbye long ago to that feeling.

I learned that I became quick to move on from tragic experiences and that’s something I am grateful for for the heartbreaks I have dealt with a long time ago.

I never shut myself out of love’s gaze, I was always hopeful that maybe, someday the right person will come. True enough, after many years of heartbreak and chaos, the love of my life came! I don’t want to sound fairy tale-ish but I feel like this might be the relationship for me. That this person is someone God decided to be with me for the rest of my life. I’m not saying this all love dovey but maybe because Kyx came at the right timing. So that’s why I believe that this relationship is the one. I wouldn’t say that I will be basing this for magic’s sake but I feel like this is gonna last a lifetime because we make things work.


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