One of the most important stuff I have learned ever since I turned 25 was a shocking and spectacular realization that I will continue to know myself more and more everyday. That the fact that I know myself already and have everything about me figured out was such a dumb thought I entertained a few years back. Every challenge, every milestone made me realize that I am far more better than myself everyday, I continue to get better and I continue to learn about life in such a way that I find it easier to live!
There are moments wherein I thought I can’t do it, I can’t handle it, I’m bad at this and that etc etc but everyday, I prove to myself that no, I can always do it even if I think I can’t handle it.
You know how this realization struck me? It’s not about a great conflict or a challenge I overcame. It’s something really small!
As I was contemplating about the new paints I would be buying (sooner or later) I talked to Kyx. I told him that I feel like I don’t deserve a huge variety of color given the fact that I am a noob when it comes to watercolour painting. He then told me this “No, it’s okay. You will be able to use it because you will be good at it someday” then bam! Something sparked inside. I then realized that yes, that’s right! I may improve! I may be able to learn and who knows, I might even be a good watercolour painter!
The realization is this: I know myself but I will continue to know myself more.
Through your ups and downs, you will definitely push yourself more and more everyday thus a different version of yourself resurface and you get all surprised again by your own brilliance.
Above all these, I’m still having second thoughts in getting the new (level up) paint for myself, Winsor and Newton Cotman 45 half pans! Bahhhh. I wish someone could help me convince myself to actually get it already because it’s going to be another day again and I will continue talking in and out myself with the idea of a new watercolour set. Something fairly an upgrade from the kiddie watercolour paint I am used to.
Okayyyyy I am going off topic. But yeah. Have you realized the same thing? That you feel like you know yourself already but then another you gets unleashed by a happy or difficult situation? I think I shall write about this more on a different post.