The Bits and Pieces, Fragments and Lots of Learning from Relationships

First off, I will be talking randomly about the stuff I learned through the course of my relationship with Kyx, the things that I don’t realized at all too soon.

Second, I did not intend for this to be school-type coherent so my thoughts will fly by and I hope you don’t mind *wink*

Being very different from each other, I feel like it is more of a good thing than the bad. We complement each other more often than not and I think that makes the relationship more fruitful and beautiful. One thing I’ve decided to talk about right now is how I managed to stop being so reactive.

I am (and trust me, I’m working on it) a very reactive person. Most of the time, my emotions get the best of me and that’s not really something I am proud of. I am a ball and all sorts of emotional human being. I cry if I need to, I laugh if I feel like it. When something aggravates me, most of the time I react aggressively towards it. To put it simply, I react too fast, too often. I am always on “attack” mode which led me to a few difficult situations, sometimes realizing things too little too late and having myself embarrassed over silly things.

Kyx on the other hand is a calm human being. It’s like when God sprinkled calmness and serenity, Kyx was showered in chunks! He also has a basket to catch all the serenity God gave the earth which is why he is a very peaceful person right now. LOL. Kidding aside, Kyx is not one to react immediately. Sometimes you won’t even get a reaction from him even if the situation calls for it. When I asked him one time, he just simply told me that he doesn’t let emotions get in the way, he thinks first before reacting and if he feels like it’s better to shut the hell up, he would.

Being in a relationship with him made me less of the reactive person I was. It made me think stuff through, it made me handle my emotions as thorough as I can. I learned that even if my heart is bursting with anger, I get to simmer down mentally and leave my attacking mantra behind a bookshelf. I don’t attack well too often now because I’d think about the consequences first or maybe, I did actually learn to keep my emotions intact?

Nonetheless, I am more peaceful and careful now when it comes to my emotions. That’s something I learned from Kyx.

I still have a few meltdowns, tantrums and fits thrown but maybe a little lesser than usual.

Brewing Ideas Lately

I have been brewing a lot of ideas already and I feel like I have to write them all down before the moment passes. I have written a short note for myself reminding me about the topics I was wanting to write about. I hope you don’t get bored from it and that you will learn something from what I have written or at least enjoy some ideas I have!

This year, I am not really planning on making my blog a “something”. Like having just one concept to blog about like the fashion and/or food bloggers out there. Mainly because I really have scattered thoughts and a lot of things I want to share with you guys that is not purely of fashion, food and reviews. I want my blog to be something very personal because writing is just too close to my heart that I want to share my personal views with you lot! ❤

So fasten your seatbelt and watch out for a burst of ideas coming your way soon! Teehee.

Short Update!

Today I realized being an adult can sometimes be too much to handle!

– so tired, drank a bottle of beer last night but I have to get up early even on a Sunday just to workout.

– why am I still having breakouts? I used a Maybelline BB Cream only to have my face break out like a teenager. I wanna cry.

– now I have to do big sister errands and good daughter appointments for my family. Though I love to be of service to my family, I hate how my face has too many little dots hahaha.

– I sketched and painted for a good 15 minutes just so I could release some stress. Here’s what I came up with! 


How’s your day going? I’ll write about my weekend later tonight! 

Xox,T.

Elephant For My Mom


My mom has this huge elephant collection. It’s not like she have hundreds of figurines but she has a lot of elephant stuff. From stuffed animals, socks, key chains, coin purse—whatever that has elephants in it, she surely would have it.

I have an elephant key chain given to me by a friend as pasalubong from an out of the country trip. My mom saw it and asked if she can have it! I was like “why are you loving all these elephants?” and then she blurted out that she feels like the elephant is her spirit animal and she adores its symbolism. She said elephant is a symbol of strength and that’s what she’s holding onto most of the time.

After a while, I read from somewhere that elephant is the symbol of strength, wisdom, family oriented values and patience. It hit me how much my mom is like an elephant. She cares so much for her children without needing a husband or a man beside her for she can do whatever it is for her children. She’s independent enough, strong willed and amazing with soft spots and harmlessness. She’s everything. This is why, the first painting I made out of my new paint set is for my mom.

I found inspiration over a watercolour magazine someone lent me, I saw beautiful elephant pieces. Though I wanted to sketch this myself, I feel like it will be nice if I collaborate with Kyx!

This concept was inspired from a photo we saw on google and an art magazine. Credits to the original artist who whipped this concept. (Though this is our own version but still..)

The sketch is by Kyxarie Peralta (a digital artist *a terrific one!*) you can check his artworks on http://behance.net/kyx

Watercolour art is by Althea Cargado (that’s me!) and Kyxarie Peralta

Stuff used: Winsor and Newton Cotman Set, sable brushes, Canson watercolour paper, Pebeo’s Gouache paints

I hope you like it!

To My Mama,

This elephant symbolizes everything that you are mom. The strength and perseverance you have no matter how tough life is. The wisdom you have that never fails to amaze us and leave us very much inspired to be as wise as you are. The patience and positive outlook you have on life which makes us look back, eyes with soft and happy tears knowing that you went through everything without lashing out on people around you and encouraging us that it will always get better no matter what. Lastly, the love you have for your children is incomparable. With that love, you taught us how to love, you taught us how love should be. Without a doubt, I will strive to follow your footsteps, to be at least close to how you are as a person. To strive for goodness and everything you stand for. I love you, Mama. I really do. Until my last breath, until my time ends. I will love you forever and nothing can ever change that. As I keep saying, I will always always choose you to be my mother if I would be given a chance in a different lifetime. In all lifetimes, I will choose you. Ikaw at ikaw lang ang gusto kong maging nanay sa lahat ng oras at lahat ng panahon. Kung papipiliin ako, ikaw at ikaw lang ang paulit ulit kong pipiliin.

TGIF!

Today, I can officially say TGIF. I usually can’t enjoy Fridays knowing I still have work on Saturdays. Tomorrow being a Saturday is an exception though since it’s Chinese New Year! The bosses here are Chinese and 3 of my office friends are Chinese as well.

Now having a 3-day break (I’m on leave on Monday), I feel like I will not be able to expand the usage cause I’ll probably just sit at home reading, painting or watching an anime movie with Kyx. Most of our free times are spent doing introverted things and I am happy with the way things are not to mention that we do go out or have out of town trips from time to time.

I was planning to have a weekend getaway but I think I am too lazy to go out. So I’ll probably just go painting over the weekend. I do hope I get something done productive though.

I also did my first painting from the W&N cotman set and I can’t wait to show you guys the artwork. It was a collaboration between me and Kyx! Before I show it to you guys, let me tell you something about the set I got!

  1. The thing is pretty much old I think. I mean it may be a pretty old stock? I can’t say I want something new but whatever. All of the paints are moist already (which is far different from mint condition paints cause typically, it should get off of their pans) being moist actually saved me from the hassle of dealing with the pans being thrown out of place.
  2. The half pans are wrapped individually and it took me I think a good 30 minute before I have finished unwrapping all of them! It was quite a chore but I was so excited it didn’t matter.
  3. Finally trying the paints, I loved it! So vivid, so bright, so saturated! I loved it soooo much!

Now I can’t wait to show you the first artwork I made using the watercolour!

Watercolor Chronicles S02E03

Today, the Winsor and Newton Cotman Set of 45 half pans have arrived!!! Finally, I have a decent paint (not that Prang isn’t decent but you know what I mean right?)

I am considering this the season 2 of my watercolour chronicles. After learning the basics (the hard way of course) I think I can consider myself on the second level of the journey already. Not that I’m good enough already but at least I can produce decent ones after failing miserable and wasting so much paint and paper before. Lol.

In season 2, here’s what I recently acquired:

  • A bigger watercolour paper. Same brand (that I have yet to compare with other brands but for now I’m good)
  • I have added a few good brushes aside from my one and only trusted medium water brush I have acquired when I first started painting in watercolour. I have 2 sets of sable brushes, the cheaper one I bought from National Bookstore and the more student grade one (meaning legit one) are from Deovir Art supplies store. I am loving the latter even more so than I expected! I found it rather small for my taste at first but I figured it works well for me cause I have a small hand and it makes it easier to control the strokes. Though expensive for a student (or is it cheap for artist idk but it’s pretty expensive for me on a reasonable side though) I find it very very good. It has a nice quality for the price only for 518 pesos I think it’s about $10 (US Dollars). Okay so at first I was thinking it is expensive but now, I feel like it’s way cheaper because of how good the quality it has! I love it!
  • Of course, I got a new set of paints! After having Prang watercolour for I think about 5 months, I decided to get tube paints so I could try em out too. I decided to get the 12 tube set of Pebeo’s Gouache paints (which works well for me) though I do not paint entirely with it, I mean I use several colors in several parts only when I need it because Prang is a bit too weak for my taste when it comes to saturation and vibrancy. So the Gouache paints really lifted a lot of my artworks and I loved it (though it takes some getting used to. I figured it behaved well differently than Prang but whatevs) so now that I’m on season 2, I have the W&N 45 half pan Cotman!!! I am soooo excited to try it out. I have read a lot of reviews, watched tutorials and reviews as well on YouTube and I am just really freaking out cause I want to learn more of it.
  • Lastly and most importantly, I have acquired a new set of confidence and creativity. I have not thought about myself that I’ll be a good artist cause I just really am an enthusiast and more contented to have an artist of a boyfriend. I find joy in just watching him create his own artworks and I couldn’t be any more happier until I felt that I can create my own set of artworks too!

I will try to refrain from saying that I still have a lot to learn (but seriously, I have to learn a lot more!) and just enjoy practicing. I hope to be more creative and give birth to new concept and ideas without having to look for inspiration on other artworks, I want to be able to create my own original piece and maybe that’s not gonna happen anytime soon but I really do hope!

So stoked to use the W&N tonight!!! Are you excited for me too? LOL.

Happy Painting!

(again, if you have any suggestions, tips, tricks or a blog you want me to read, please do let me know!)

Stop Acting Like You Care When You Don’t

Ever wondered that the hardest things to do are the simplest things ever? I mean for some people and given some situations, people find it hard and awkward to do when in fact it should be easy and simple?

Like saying Thank You and Sorry. Like saying Yes and No. Acting like you care when you don’t and acting like you don’t care when you do.

Those are just a few examples and a few things I can think of today and I realized how easy it should be! Maybe, when it requires digging deeper into emotions, tapping your heart and soul, it gets hard to do the simple things especially when it requires genuine sincerity right?

So today, a friend of mine talked to me about a few things. Something hard to accept so I am fairly surprised how she gave me a no fucks given attitude? I mean I’m not taking it against her and her coping style but I’ve come to realize how it gets harder when you supress the real emotions. When you hide it all to yourself left to explode when you can’t take shit anymore right? So how hard it is to show your feelings? Maybe this is easy for me to say as I am an emotional piece of prick. I am not one of the gifted ones to hide emotions cause when I feel something, I feel it in the moment. I cry when I need to cry, I laugh when I need to laugh. I can’t look at a person’s eyes if they did me wrong or lied to me. I can’t conceal my emotions as much as I wanted to because I am very transparent when it comes to my feelings. When I am grateful, you will feel it. When I’m mad, the gods of madness and fury goes out from my soul, when I am feeling very happy, I could throw a celebration of hugs and joy. It’s crazy!

So maybe yes, it is easy for me to say these things, but this is good right? This is a good piece of advice (I believe so) so as much as possible, why not just act the way you mean to. Say what you mean. When you’re happy, show it! When you’re mad, try to calm down but don’t fake your emotions cause it’ll just make you feel madder than you already are. And again, if you don’t care, then stop acting like you do. If you do care, well stop acting like you don’t. Because you’re just confusing yourself and other people. You’re confusing your emotions and your mental well-being.

Hard at first but when you get used to being the real you, everything follows!

Learning in My Watercolor Journey

I have written a long blog entry but then I had a problem with my internet so I had to restart my laptop only to find out that I have not saved any of my work and all disappeared to thin air in the digital world. I feel so bummed but hey let’s see if I can still write about what I have written.

 

Though I absolutely consider myself a noob over watercolour painting and whatnot, I have learned a few things that I want to share with you guys especially if you’re also a beginner like me.

  1. I learned to refrain from using too much paints and too many colors all at once. Aside from being wise with the amount and saving pigments for more paintings, I understood the magic it creates when a few dabs of paint can go a long way.
  2. I learned how to sketch quite a bit. I am not good with drawing and sketching but somehow, I learned it by force. Though most of the time, I still ask Kyx for help when it comes to different perspectives and angles. I have yet to learn how to sketch fully without any guide but right now, I’m happy that I have someone who can help me!
  3. I got to learn my style and preference through watercolour techniques. There’s wet on wet and wet on dry. I prefer the wash style which is wet on wet because then I can fully play with the water and pigments without having to be uptight on rules and proportion. I love playing with the pigments so I enjoy wet on wet more over than wet on dry (but again, that’s just my preference)
  4. I got to know at least more about brands and how these paints behave which makes me like a level 2 student instead of a baby one lol. I honestly without a doubt love Prang! I started out with it and fell in love with watercolour all because of Prang! But as time went by, I keep having problems progressing my artwork into a more saturated, more vibrant painting because with Prang, I can’t seem to get the color I was aiming for which left me frustrated over time. So moving on to a new paint W&N, I would still love Prang but I am excited to move a notch higher!
  5. Got to learn how to use brushes and the difference between a couple of brands, quality and all. I have atleast 2 cheap brushes (which are soooooooo hard to use mind you) and a couple of student grade sable brushes plus a waterbrush for traveling + painting. Right now I want to be able to enjoy my sable brushes. I didn’t splurge on them but it’s fairly more expensive than craft store brushes for kids but overall, I would like to be able to like it first and test it until I move on to a different brush.

I have been thinking of what else to add up to this (not to mention I was trying to replicate the entry I wrote a while ago) but I feel like I should limit it to 5 tips or learning I had over the course of my watercolour painting experience.

If you have anything to add to this, or an experience you want to share, your comments will be very greatly appreciated. You can also direct me to a blog with tips or to your blogs and I’d be happy to pay a visit. Yay!

Happy painting!

Xox,T.

Hi! After all your words of encouragement and appreciation, I finally decided that I will upgrade my paint from Prang to Cotman!

I ordered a 45 half pan Winsor and Newton Cotman set and I can’t wait to finally be able to use it! I think it’ll arrive tomorrow or Friday *squealing in excitement*

I got suggestions about getting an artist paint already or something better than the Cotman set. Though I really appreciate your suggestions (many thanks again, I swear I love you guys for that!) I can’t go back now because 1. I ordered the W&N set already and 2. You might think I am really good (do you, or not? Lol) but I am actually not good at it just yet. I have a lot to learn! My paintings are like baby quality compared to some of the beginners. My paintings may look nice but it’s just really blah most of the time.

As I keep saying, I have not made something out of pure emotions cause I have to look for inspiration among other artists which makes me feel like a noob lol. Also, I have to ask Kyx for help if I feel like I am not doing something right so he still needs to guide me. So I guess the Cotman might be a good one for practicing (though I still feel so unworthy of it as of the moment)

It’s not that I am putting myself so down and low and that I don’t believe in myself but seriously you guys, I have artist friends and some of you here are talented enough that can really whip out a good painting and I sit here, trying my best and failing hahaha. Although as I also keep saying, I am quite happy about it I just really need to practice more and more everyday!

So for watercolour artists or enthusiasts, I have a question.

I am using a 200gsm cold pressed Canson watercolour paper. The style I use on painting is “wash” so most of the paintings I do are wet on wet. My paper gets wrinkled (though it doesn’t tear) I have a hard time mixing cause the colors spread out on the wrinkled part instead of the whole paper. Is it the paper I need to change or do I really use a lot of water? (I put water a lot but not so much to make my paper have a meltdown, I hope you know what I mean) So really, please HELP me!

And also, any tips on watercolour you know? A blog or you as a person? Please do help me. I will appreciate it so much!

Xox,T.

Heart Wrenching, Face Smiling, Soul Fed

Ever heard of a song that has the ability to wrench your heart, make you smile and feed your soul at the same time? I forgot if I ever felt this way over songs in the past but right now, I am having this roller coaster bit of emotions while I listen to Autotelic. You see, Autotelic is a local band from the Philippines. I think they’re just rising to fame, I feel like they will eventually boom into the music world and become mainstream but right now, I’m enjoying them while they’re popular to the passionate ones and not the mainstream crowd (just yet)

I have been listening to Laro and Languyin over and over this morning (until now).

I don’t know but it makes me feel alive, it makes my heart break into a million pieces but enough to make me smile. It makes my soul full of amazing mementos, pieces and bits of all sorts of emotions given to me by different people, situation, places and moments. It awakens the sleeping passion once flaring and blaring with fiery love for everything. It makes everything colourful and dark at the same time. It washes the gray skies but ends up raining. It’s all so contradictory but the feelings are legit GENUINE. I love how it makes me feel everything. It’s crazy!

Do you know songs like this? Or story, poetry, piece of art etc. If yes, please let me know.