There was a time in my life wherein whenever I read something positive, something nice, some teaching or bright story of sorts, I cringe and I roll my eyes. Now I feel terrible because it only meant that I closed my heart, mind and soul for the longest time and I felt like I have missed out on a lot of good things. Now, I feel like I have wasted so many emotions, cried unnecessary tears because I was too focused on myself. I was so focused on my own emotions and what was lacking. I felt like I did nothing but expected wayyy too much from everyone which hurt me so badly, blaming them deep inside and thinking about how some people can be selfish when in fact I was being selfish myself! I get hurt too easily and in order for me to protect myself from these things, I put up high walls, strong ones and even cold at times. I could go all day without talking to someone because and I felt okay with it. In fact, I was happy! Or so I thought? To be honest, I was really quite comfortable with my lonesome self. I loved being quiet, I loved my own company and I didn’t need anyone to make me feel good about myself. But come to think of it, though it gave me some space, it didn’t give me the calmness I wanted, I wasn’t peaceful. It only made me more judgmental, more sensitive than I already am and more annoyed with everything than I used to. It was so bad and at first, I didn’t even notice it. It went on for a long time until I figured it wasn’t making me a better person plus it’s more stressful and it’s making me unhappy every day.
Now take time and look at this. You find yourself brooding over a lot of things that you don’t notice there are actually great times you missed, precious moments you took for granted and the chance to be happier—was thrown out somewhere. When you brood over things, you don’t get to appreciate your blessings. You are so uptight while you hide in your own walls and it’s not doing you any good.
Everyone that I know who tried putting up walls, forgetting people, being unforgiving, being moody, neglecting the advice and presence of people who actually care, lash out on people who only thinks what’s best for them—you think you’re brave, you think you’re doing what’s best for you but no. You’re not doing yourself a favour and you’re only choosing the path to an unhappy life. You think that letting go of everyone who might hurt you is actually for the better when in fact you’re not giving yourself the chance to accept things, move on, forgive and be a better person.
I’m not saying that you should not let go of the people who are hurting you, it’s also a good thing to at least move on with your life without the toxic people who only bring you down. However, choose the genuine ones. Give yourself a chance, give others a chance to be a better person to you. When you forgive and try to understand people despite how they treat you, you are giving yourself the opportunity to mature and grow as an amazing individual. When you tend to push people away, you’re probably doing what you think is best but is it actually the best way? Some things do not need to end like that, some things are not meant to be taken in the easy road. Some things are meant to happen, some challenges are bound to induce excruciating pain but when you take the right and hard long road, that’s going to give you the best lesson, best reward and most fulfilling feeling ever. Give yourself a chance to understand, to be more patient and to care. Because you’re only going to regret these things when you grow old and alone, friendless—because you pushed people away when you shouldn’t have. Don’t give yourself more things to regret, enjoy everything, and appreciate everyone.