As much as I’d like to keep the details to myself, I couldn’t compromise the quality and meat of this story.
Okay, to be clear though, I am not writing this to slam it to the face of other people, feel good about myself, shame other people, be arrogant etc. This is just so I could share with you, enlighten and make you feel okay even when the worst things happen.
At the age of 25, I have the job I wanted. Although I want to be a novel writer or author, I’d rather take baby steps and work as a copywriter. Every day, I twist and squish my mind to the extent of my creativity just so I could deliver excellent copy and nope, I am not complaining. Just giving you a background of things. So going back, at this age I am working a job I want, I get paid fairly (I’d like to think that) and I enjoy the company of my colleagues and my boss.
At the age of 25, I try as best as I can to give financial help to my mom. We are a middle class family. We don’t struggle as much as others do but our life isn’t a fantasy or something you would want to dream about. We work hard for things and we can’t just do whatever we want because we always need to stick to the tight budget we have. I guess I can say we live comfortably but only because we are not living a lavish lifestyle and that’s okay. There are places we can’t go because we don’t have the money to spend so much on luxury. We can’t buy items or stuff we want because we’d rather buy the ones we need.
At the age of 25, I sometimes feel like I wish to spend time on things I’d like to do without thinking if I have been spending above my budget, I want to be care free! But I can’t.
I cried a couple of times about a couple of dumb stuff over and over and over again only to realize that I’m crying over bull.
I thought about my friends who were able to just keep their salaries to themselves. Who were able to buy whatever the heck they want, those who can save up for the things they want to buy instead of putting what’s important first. Those who can party it up whenever, wherever because they are not on a tight budget. All these dumb stuff and wishing I could live that kind of life.
At the age of 25, I then realized that maybe I can live the way I want but not right now. Given my priorities and how much I need to help my family. I realized that I was being so stressed out about the wrong things and that I am so much more blessed than I can think of! That there’s more to my life than I can see. That I am being a good daughter to my mom and a good sister to my little sis. I realized that my life is a lot more meaningful and fulfilling than I look at it. In short, there are a lot of things I should feel blessed about, that I don’t even have the slightest right to be stressed out because my life is splendid and my life is wonderful, just as wonderful as everyone else’s life!
I felt guilty with how I tried to question my purpose and existence. I felt guilty because I felt sorta bad with the sacrifices I made. The sacrifices I am making is for the good of all and I shouldn’t feel bad or stressed out. If I do it with love, I will never feel stressed or lonely about it anymore. Because in this life, the most wonderful thing you can when you’re feeling stressed, burned out and tired is to think of how blessed you truly are.