“I Don’t Care A Lot Anymore”

I hope I don’t sound too condescending and arrogant with what I’m about to write today so let’s give it a try.

Since I tried my “journey to a happy heart” there were a few road blocks and a lot of wrong turns which led me to crazier paths but I sure did find my way anyway. So the first few months of my journey, I became someone who didn’t give a fuck. There’s a thin line between “I don’t give a fuck” and “I don’t care so much anymore (in a good way)” in case you don’t know.

The “I don’t give a fuck” attitude

  • It’s simply not caring because finally, you have found your feelings more important than others and for once in your life you know how to take care of your own damn emotions than before. Finally you thought of yourself first before considering other people’s way of life, thinking and opinion. At last you are in that state wherein you don’t care if people will feel bad as long as you do your thing, you’re happy and no one can take that away from you.

The “I don’t care so much anymore (in a good way)” attitude

  • This is when you found your way to healing recurring wounds in the past. The forgiving side of you is present and you’re way more happier. You think of other people’s feelings and you care about them however you don’t divulge into negative situations. You let things fly by when you can and you let go of things easily. You don’t hold a lot of emotions and you finally learned the true meaning of self-worth without offending anybody.

Those 2 may look the same for some time but both are very different from each other. Forgive me if I don’t know how else to put it out there! Gahhh. Well my case is I think, both works incredibly but if you want to be happy, the latter does fantastic magic in the complete turnaround of your spiritual detox.

I have been to the first attitude because I got fed up with everything and everyone. I felt so bad for myself that I turned into a cold hearted human and it was not me. I didn’t know myself (in a bad way) and I thought it would make me happier but it only made me feel worse. It made me look like a bad person and I was not feeling good about whatever I did having an attitude like that. So when I learned about the second attitude, I figured it would be better for me. Perhaps God has his timing and that timing is perfect. Because it started when I got so busy with work!

I was always tired and I didn’t have a lot of time to entertain my feelings. It’s not in a bad way so don’t worry about it. I just felt like there is more to life, there are a lot of priorities and responsibilities I need to cover than dwelling on my emotions. I realized as well that when you get over emotional, you overreact and it seems selfish because then, all you care about is your feelings and how you got hurt by people and situations. Compared to when you don’t focus on your emotions too much, you get to see the good  side of things and you feel more peaceful. You still care but not so much (in a good way, again.)

I’m not saying that not caring is very good. You just have to know how and when to use it. You must remember that you’re doing this because you want inner peace and true happiness. You’re not doing this to show people how mighty of a person you are, you’re doing this so you can finally make peace with yourself by not caring so much about how people treat you because at the end of the day, it all comes down to how you handle situations whether good or bad and not  how people treated you.


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