Do not waste anything for the wrong reasons.
I am guilty of wasting my time, energy, effort on things that do not matter. I want to live a happy life without obsessing over trivial things, without being too affected but I end up acting the way I shouldn’t. I try to work on these things and live up to my true values but it’s hard to keep myself in track.
I used to not care about stupid things, about dumb petty issues, now I don’t know why I obsess over these things. It doesn’t even make me happy or give me any benefit!
I guess I am struggling to find peace and happiness with myself. I have a lot of issues which I shouldn’t dwell on, I shouldn’t weigh a lot of things, I shouldn’t look for things that will only make me feel sad and disappointed. I get frustrated with a lot of simple things, I complicate things and most especially I hate myself for doing just every little thing I did (am doing) because I know how wrong it is.
Okay, this is so confusing right? But just look at it this way.
I know I am not supposed to obsess over small things, I know I am not supposed to complicate everything and I must try to be happy at all times, I shouldn’t be jealous and all that but I still do it even if I know I must not!
When I evaluate my life, I see someone who is happy but never contented. I see someone who excels in things she wants to excel with but it doesn’t seem enough for her. I see someone who wants peace but doesn’t find it within herself. I see someone who knows how blessed she is but still looks at the bad things and waste her time lamenting over these things.
I need to change. I know I do.