I have been on a roll of highs and lows in just a span of days and it is not the best of feelings. Let me write first about my Monday and how it went.
Monday, I told my boss that I wouldn’t be coming in today for work because of my doctor’s appointment. I was nervous for the said appointment because this is the second ultrasound I will be taking for my concern and this is the “make or break” of the ultrasound series for the past 3 weeks. After my appointment, I had to wait for another day to have my doctor’s appointment again so that she can take a look at the results of my ultrasound.
I was so stressed because there has been a lot going on in my life, family wise and I don’t have spare “happy emotions” to give myself anymore because all along, I was losing every bit of sunshine I have left in my soul. You see, life is so hard and we always just have to look at it differently. I was trying to be positive about everything but honestly, it could only last for how many times? Idk. I just felt like there’s always going to be a breaking point, and Monday was the breaking point.
I was so stressed but I didn’t want to show other people especially my family because I want to be strong for myself and for everyone else.
By the time Kyx got home, I just cried my eyes out and shared with him what I am feeling all these time. I poured my heart out and ugly cried all the way while he was driving. I was insanely crying and snotting and had no care with the world anymore. He comforted me and showed me all the love and sincerity he can offer because he do know that there are no words he can ever give just to make me feel okay about things. I was calmed when we got home, he cheered me up and then when I was finally okay and smiling and laughing at his jokes, he asked me if I could get his supplements and water bottle inside his bag which I did. The moment I opened his bag, I saw a wrapper of a familiar bookstore which then brought tears to my eyes again. My eyes welled up and I ugly cried again. He bought me a book he chose for me to read. Usually, he would ask me what book I want and need but this time, he chose something he wanted for me to read and I felt so overjoyed.
I was happy and baffled at the same time. I loved his surprise and I loved how the timing was so great.
Things I realized:
- There’s always something to be thankful for.
- A good cry is definitely part of life.
- There are good things after bad ones.
I have a lot to write about but I guess I shall write it when I get home.