Sad :(

I am always always always well aware of my flaws, my strengths and weaknesses. I know where to work things out, I know when to accept defeat, I know when to fight, I know when to stop. I am always sure of what I wanted but now, as I am thinking the next thing I will be typing, please know that I am cringing. I cringe that I feel undeserving of things, blessings etc. I feel like I am not worthy. I feel like I am not important and that I do not matter. I am suddenly on a dark path thinking about nothing but my insecurities and what made me feel like this. It’s like I am all undeserving of what I have been getting all my life. I feel like I am not worthy. No one of importance actually made me feel like this, I just make myself feel so unworthy because I don’t know why. Also, I keep finding myself as the never number 1 choice. I always think of myself as the option if Plan A didn’t work out. Again, no one ever made me feel that way. I do not know where this is all coming from and it’s making me really sad. I know my strengths, I know my weaknesses, I know myself but why am I feeling this way today. It hurts to think that I’m in this black hole of never ending feelings. I’m so lost.

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