Have you ever felt of not knowing what you actually want to do with your life? It’s like you are in a constant day by day struggle of trying to figure out how life works, how everything works. It’s like you’re trying your best to not crawl and claw your way out through everything but in the end, you get all dirty, muddy and useless.
I believe I am not alone in this constant struggle, in this battle of knowing what I want and knowing what to actually do with my life!
I always strive hard and do my best. I give my heart and soul to what I actually want (as of the moment) but in the end, I figured I am not happy so I skip along and do the next thing I would want.
After graduation, I thought I was going to have a vacation in UK so I ended up not looking for a job right away. I opted to work in a BPO called Telus and I had a very fantastic time working for them. Then I lasted for 2 years (I didn’t think I’d work for them in that long period of time but I did and I enjoyed it!). I realized I had to quit because I can’t be like that forever. I cannot work for a BPO all my life and not have Christmas and New Year with my family (Here in the Philippines, if you’re working in a BPO company, you know very well that you wouldn’t have Holidays. That’s like mandatory). So I endured that for 2 years but managed to stay happy. Although I knew for a fact I shouldn’t continue so I bode farewell to my colleagues, my boss and everyone else.
I didn’t know what to do after that so I managed to open a clothing shop (It is still on going so if you might want to check, head over to instagram and check out saro.manila) during the time I opened the shop, I knew it wouldn’t suffice. The income wouldn’t be enough to support but a simple lifestyle. So I opted to teach English to Chinese students. It was fun but it paid so little and so I returned to office work.
Now, I am an in-house copywriter for a pharmaceutical company. I write adverts and marketing press releases as well as web content. Day in and day out, I write articles about products. It was fun but very tiring at some point especially that I am the only writer here with a lot of products and articles to write! It is exhausting plus some boss here could be an arse (sorry to say). I am still working as a copywriter here but not fully enjoying because of the lack of employee benefits and whatnot.
In a nutshell, I have tried so many things already yet I cannot find what I would really want to do with my life! I don’t want to end up unhappy forever so I am still figuring out how life works. How to endure things like real adults do! How they could stay and manage to love what they’re doing. It is pretty hard ya know, especially trying to “adult” your way in life. It is fun and at the same time a burden. You get to enjoy a lot of things but get to be restricted on a lot of things as well. Your responsibilities and obligation never stops and even continue to pile up as time goes by yet your life quality and money stays the same!
I guess, we just really have to stay strong in this big bad world. The schools, our schools tried to prepared us for this but I think we didn’t listen as much as we should. Now, we are in this shithole but the only thing I am sure of is we can get through this! It’s only a matter of time! Our brains would get so used up, our hearts would break several times, our sacrifices would mean so little for a while but in the long run, I know we can all get through this shit. Cheers to adulthood and cheers to life!