Don’t Let Them Define You Just By Mere Surface

Do not feel bad when people attack you because of how you look. Your physical appearance defines only a little of yourself. It says something about you, yes. But it doesn’t necessarily mean that is WHO you are. If they think you look ugly when you wore this kind of stuff, when you pull your hair like that, you wear too much or too little make up, try not to be bothered about their comments. Anything other people say about you should be looked at objectively and not taken personally. Even if they’re trying to attack you, do.not.let.them.get.to.you.When I was younger, I have been teased by everyone of how brown my skin is. I have a very brown skin, like crisped brown. Something like tan or that sort. I have been called names for it but I didn’t take it as an insult.

I was 4 years old when I asked my mom why my skin is darker than her skin. She said it’s because I got my skin color from my dad. She said it shouldn’t be an issue because my skin looks so beautiful! She even told me that people in foreign countries would love to have a skin color like mine so why should I be bothered? My mom even alled the color of my skin “golden brown”. I loved it!

As I grew older, I became aware of why people wanted to have a lighter skin color. It’s because they have the notion that it looks really nice, clean and whatnot. Their perception of beauty is distorted and I felt bad for them simply because they do not know what real beauty is.

I have been told to not wear a certain shade of lipstick, a certain color of clothing, as certain make-up simply because I have “golden brown” skin. I have met a lot of people (I even have friends and family members/relatives) who think a whiter or fairer skin is the BEST.

I have nothing against any skin color, I just feel like this does not define beauty.

At a young age, I have learned that I should not be bothered about physical things, especially when people attack the way I look, I dress etc. At a young age, I know that I am beautiful in my own way. I know that I cannot be beautiful in the eyes of everyone but as long as I believe in myself, I should not let rude comments about physical attributes.

My mom taught me to not let anything else define me. As long as I can do whatever I needed to do, as long as I am capable of what I wanted to do. Bottomline is, skin color should never be an issure or the basis of confidence, beauty, intelligence and abilities. It does not define you AT ALL.

Physical attributes, the way you carry yourself may have something to say about who you are but it is not the determining factor of your existence. When people tell me about how dark my skin is, how I should not be wearing a certain color because it only makes my skin look darker, I just laugh because these people are so shallow. I mean yes we have different beliefs, styles and views but can people just let other people be? Can the rude comments stop already because it’s just funny now.

I was just recently told that my eyebrows look really bushy and ugly. I was told very recently as well that my skin is dark enough that I should not go to the beach anymore cause it will just get darker. I was told to stop wearing a darker shade because it makes my skin look darker. I DO NOT CARE ABOUT HOW I LOOK AND I AM NOT BOTHERED WITH HOW I LOOK SO WHY SHOULD YOU?

As long as I am not hurting anybody, as long as I show respect and appreciation. As long as I do not trample on anybody, I should be free to be who I am.

You should be too!

Don’t let them define who you are by just the surface. By the mere physical attributes. That is not who you are. 

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Thea

Thea, 26, INFJ (Turbulent) Always interested in other people's opinion on matters, ideas and random thoughts. I mostly keep to myself but I found that writing in this blog is easier than bottling my feelings up. Reading, writing, tea, coffee and wine are my favorite things. You can catch me mostly on twitter and instagram: @xoxthea make sure to say hello! :")

18 thoughts on “Don’t Let Them Define You Just By Mere Surface”

  1. I agree! Everyone is beautiful no matter how they look! That is quite strange as all of my white skinned peers wish to have darker skin and are actually going to tanning beds to achieve it. This baffles me! I understand trying to “look nice” to make YOURSELF feel better, but completely altering so as to stay in fashion and acceptable in societies eyes is very sad to me.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s what my mom tells me when I was young. Like white skinned people does a lot of things just to get the skin that I have, then I get to deal with people here who feels like having a darker skin is ugly. Ugh. I am not even sure why everyone here thinks darker skin = ugly. 😦 Sadly, a lot of people here wants to achieve a fairer skin. Do you know that here, they even sell like pills or supplements to make your skin whiter? It’s crazy!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I have heard of those kind of things before, it really does make me sad. From what I know of you, you are a beautiful and brilliant person! I try to tell you get teens and kids that I am around that beauty has no one definition, but it is hard as the world’s people try to tell them otherwise.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Sometimes I feel ugly cause I gained weight and all but when it comes to skin color and style and how people carry themselves, I think other people should stop imposing their notion of beauty. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s right!! Discrimination everywhere!! They even incorporate “dirty” with people having a dark skin tone. Like “she looks dirty cause her skin is brown”. -___-

      Liked by 1 person

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