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30 Day Writing Challenge

I shall try this! Hmmm


30 day writing challenge

Type. Pause. Backspace. Type some more. No, no. Backspace.

The less I write, the harder it gets. If you’ll excuse the language, writer’s block (and writer’s tentativeness) can be a real bi**h.

A year ago, I started a 30 Day Writing Challenge to test my seemingly insurmountable writer’s block. I would get through it! I would defeat writer’s block! I would write everyday! And I did, except I sort of didn’t, and my initial high-speed interest in the project petered out after day eight or nine. If I even got that far.

This time, though, I’d really like to get through the 30 Day Writing Challenge. Because I can (“I think I can”, said the lil’ engine that could) and I will.

It took me four years and six false starts to complete a photography project. Behind me is a whole slew of unfinished projects and stories and endeavors from over the…

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“Art Won’t Change Anything But We’ll Show Them Anyway”

After attending the Mommy Fleur Day 2017, I was supposed to go home already but since my friends’ art exhibition is just being held nearby, I went and visited. It was only around 7pm so there weren’t a lot of people yet, most of our friends are not there yet and only 2 of my friends who are the exhibitors were present while 4 others are still on their way. I couldn’t stay longer so I just took photos and got my photo taken by Loloy (one of the exhibitors).

Art has a special place in my heart. It liberates me, makes me feel great about existing and creates a lot of wonders in just a single second. I can stare at a piece of art all day and still feel magical! Unfortunately, the only medium I am doing okay with is watercolour (if we’re talking about art art) there are a lot of mediums out there like embroidery, oil painting, acrylic painting, pop art, minimal painting, digital painting and a lot more! I am only comfortable with watercolour but I am okay with it, at least I can write lol.

So anyway, our friends (kyx and mine) were exhibitors presenting their own original work of art, I only have a couple of photos but everything was amazing. The title of the show is “Art Won’t Change The World But We’ll Show Them Anyway” I have yet to read the full write up and I’ll again, edit this post with photos of the art pieces.

If anyone here reads this and is in Manila, I hope you guys can visit the Ysobel Art Gallery at Serendra, Bonifacio Global City.

Mommy Fleur Day 2017

So for some of you who does not know Mommy Fleur, she’s a mommy blogger in the Philippines. She blogs about being a mom to Anika, a wife to Alvin and mostly about life in general. A lot can relate to her blog even I can relate to her blog considering I am neither a mom nor a wife right? She’s very quirky and smart. I love everything about her and I feel like I have known her for a long time by just reading her blog. Anyway, she’s quite popular here in the Philippines and she holds “Mommy Fleur Day” it’s like an intimate meet and greet with her blog readers and only a few are invited.

I am one of the lucky people to be invited there!!

My thoughts are racing! I am an introvert and a get together with people I don’t personally know can be compared to a really bad hair day + bad movie + horror film with bad actors. That’s how get togethers make me feel, I cringe so much I want to disappear. But this one is different. I didn’t give a shit whether I know anyone there or not, as long as I get to meet Mommy Fleur and her family. It’s like meeting a book character in real life!

So come January 14, I got off work 2 hours earlier because I usually get off at around 4pm but the get together would start by 2pm so I had to leave earlier, I talked to my boss and he allowed me to go. I have yet to go on a trip to Pangasinan that night, not to mention my friends have an art show at around 7pm! My day was so jam packed but I am happy.

I went there, there were people already but the thing have not started yet so I took a seat and used my phone until someone sat beside me, she was quite an introvert too and we talked a bit. So that’s my only friend there at Mommy Fleur Day.

Now let’s talk about the Mommy Fleur Day itself!

The venue was very nice for a small get-together. It was intimately arranged. Simple but quite a party. I have no other words but AMAZING. We started with a few games, raffle and all. It was fun! I got to interact with other people for a bit as well and I was not even scared to mingle. LOL.

The food was catered and boy does it taste good! I ate only a few of everything, we were given everything and you can opt to have more or less. I got less of everything and I enjoyed it. I ate spinach lasagne, lechon (roasted pork), chicken wings, mozzarella sticks, a cupcake and a fruit tart. I LOVED EVERYTHING OMG.

Everyone won a raffle prize as well, I got a brow liner and even though I don’t use brow liners, I was still happy to have won something.

There’s also a segment called “Eyebrow Workshop” and the one who taught us about it was a very great Make-up artist, her name is Eliza (omg sorry Idk the spelling) but she’s very great! She answered questions and taught us the proper way to do the brows. Everyone loved it! I loved it even if I am not into eyebrow make-up (because first off, I am allergic to a lot of brands huhu and second, my eyebrows are very thick that I don’t even know how to make it look good with make-up so I just let it be as it is) but yeah, I loved the workshop.

Mommy Fleur’s 6 year old daughter Anika and Kuya Alvin (The hubby of Mommy Fleur) sang in an intermission number. They were so cute!

Around 6pm, the program ended and some are leaving after the photo ops. I have an art exhibit to attend to at 7pm and I have to be home by 8pm cause I have to fix our things for Pangasinan. I left the Mommy Fleur Day event at around 6pm, I brought home candies with me because Mommy Fleur insisted on giving us a lot of candies! It was all local candies with different names AND I SERIOUSLY LOVED IT. It was like nostalgia, I remembered my kiddie days when I used to eat those candies lol.

Over-all, it was a very fun and interesting day for me. I will edit this post with photos from the event, I just have to get my sht together.

Even though I am an introvert, a total introvert at that, I was glad I went to the event. I was glad to finally meet Mommy Fleur and her family plus other blog readers!

If you want to check out Mommy Fleur’s Blog here’s the link: mommyfleur.com

You have to check her blog! (I hope there are Filipino readers cause she mostly writes in Taglog and English)

To Mommy Fleur,

Thank you so much for inviting me! I had a good time and I am very glad to have met you, kuya Alvin, Anika, Wowa, Lolo Papa and everyone else! I hope we can do it again or if you’re not busy, we can have a lunch date of some sort. Ahhh I am so happy talaga! Thank you!!!

It was a fun filled day, I hope you guys get to experience something like this every once in a while 😀


So where do I begin? I have been so busy with work, I didn’t even have time to write for myself which was a little downer for me but hey I’m good now. A lot has happened and I can’t wait to tell you guys about it. Sorry for being MIA for a couple of times here but if we follow each other on Instagram and Twitter, I’m quite active there at least!

I’ve got stuff I prepared that I wanted to write about so I’m stoked to be writing on my blog again yay!

Here’s a bit of a summary

  • Mommy Fleur Day 2017
  • Pangasinan Day Trip 2017 with my Friends
  • The Death of My Grandmother’s Brother
  • Several Life Insights

Those are the things I have been itching to write about also I might write a few articles in my native language which is Filipino or Tagalog. But most of my blog readers are not from the Philippines so don’t worry because I will still be writing heavy English stuff I suppose.

How have you been? Hope all is well! I miss reading your blogs especially my wordpress friends!

You Must Know That Your Love Keeps Me Going

2017 so far has not been good for me not to mention I was PMSing so so bad on the first week while being so full of rage over a lot of things that I don’t even like my own self right now. Why? Let’s just say that I have been throwing HUGE tantrums since before New Year. I think I have been acting out since the 27th of December until now 6th of January. It has been way too long and I am really trying my best to get my shit together but I keep failing miserably for over a full 2 weeks now. So for the rundown of what I have been going through, I’ll put that on a different blog entry. Right now, I’ll write about my dearest Kyx.

Kyx (read as kicks) has been putting up with me all these time while I’m having huge tantrums, bad temper and throwing a fit for long and he never got tired of me. Maybe frustrated at one point but never did he got mad at me for being me—the monster version of myself. I swear I can’t even begin to describe how taunting I was recently. It’s like I am possessed with a crazy bad spirit.

Despite all these, despite the mix of being a huge monster and witch lately, Kyx made sure that he comforts me. He hugs me tight when I get so crazy. When I get mad and accuse him of things he shouldn’t have said (cause I have been terribly sensitive that I cry and got angry with every little thing that he happens to “stupidly” say), all he does is apologize sincerely while I decide for myself whether it is but time to stop my craziness.

Kyx, dear you must know that your love keeps me going and nothing is even better than what you can give me emotionally and mentally. Your spiritual guidance, your ability to overlook my monster-isms made me realize that this is how ugly love can get but this is also satisfying when it comes to me—knowing how much you love me. It is insane how I may keep pulling a trigger, how I keep being so annoying and I may seem to abuse your entire goodness but no, I am not being mean cause I know you love me, I am being mean because I am such a monster lately and your love makes me gentler. Makes me feel comforted, makes me feel amazing despite how bad I feel about a lot of things. You do really keep me going and I couldn’t ask for more. Knowing that you love me with all of my ugliness and beauty—inside and out, is enough to make me break away from the dark side I have been kept in for weeks.

“You Should Put More Lipstick”

How was your 2017 going so far? I want to write a chronological post from my pre-holidays to holidays to post-holidays but I guess I shall let my OCD pass for a wee bit cause I want to write about this so bad.

This for me, is a very personal blog entry that I shouldn’t even have written anything about it cause I’m afraid people might think of it as unethical but then I realized that I can write anything I want (in my blog) as long as it is based on my own pride and principles given that I don’t trample on anyone. So let’s begin!

The first working day of 2017 meant my “year-end” evaluation + 1st work year evaluation. It went really nice and I saw my evaluation as a great opportunity for learning and growth! However there was this one comment, something I was asked to do that I didn’t really understand (and I don’t stand by this idea either) but I had to follow and deal with. I was asked to wear more lipstick everyday at work. This could mean a lot of different things for some of you but since I know my superior better than anyone of you guys, I chose to not find it offensive. I just felt it was a little off. (though I shall try to not be carried away)

Let’s go through as to why I don’t wear a lot of make-up (or nothing at all) everyday.

  1. I have allergies on a lot of different cosmetic products and I can’t afford to keep doing a “trial and error” if a product fits me or not. So I just choose to wear it occasionally or “inconsistently” as what I was told or nothing at all. LOL.
  2. My boyfriend is not a fan of make-up AT ALL. I mean he lets me wear make-up if I want to or if it fits the situation but he worries that I would get sick again (as I said, I get BAD allergies. Seriously guys. BAD ones)
  3. I am not comfortable with it. Because sometimes I commute going to work and I perspire a lot (I think due to my thyroid problem ? ) so I would basically look uglier with make-up drenched by sweat than nothing at all on my face.
  4. I am not lazy and I don’t hate make-up, perhaps I love lipstick more than anything else but this is why I chose a job that does not require talking and presenting and welcoming guests because I am not fit to do any of that (looking) physically and emotionally. LOL.
  5. I believe that anyone can wear make-up as they please and anyone can opt to not wear make-up at all when they want to simply because that’s our right and we shall not be forced to do something we don’t believe in.

So now, I wear lipstick everyday. I don’t feel any less confident about myself or even more confident than I originally am. Because basically, my lipstick and any other cosmetic product do not equate to how I work and my capabilities. Also, have I not been compensating on making sure my hair looks nice and my clothes appropriate for my work environment? Oh well. I still feel kind of put off cause why does everything need to be “physical” these days? I make sure naman that I don’t look like I went straight to the office from my bed diba. I mean I know we should all look presentable and I make it a point I look the part (presentable lol) but. Gahhhh this is getting out of hand and a little while ago I was feeling sort of normal, now I feel like I wanna get mad because WHY SHOULD I EVEN PUT MAKE-UP IF I DON’T WANT TO??? Okay. Let me simmer down. Ha ha ha!

That’s What You Do When Waves Crash On You, You Laugh.

I’ve always been a mama’s girl and I have never been ashamed of that. I wanted to start this entry by saying “if there’s one thing I love about mom’s teachings..” but one is not enough and I can’t even choose my favourite so randomly, let me share with you one of the many things my mom taught me that I will forever be grateful for and remember as long as I live.

“Cause that’s what you do when waves crash on you, you laugh. Remember, waves can be strong and it will hurt you, sometimes it has of very little impact but sometimes it may bruise you however, even if you’re lying helplessly on your back waiting for the waves to crash on you, just laugh and be brave. No matter how strong these waves are, they can never wither your soul and weaken your heart.”

Just like in life, there are problems. There will be things and people that will purposely do harm, hurt you in different ways. Sometimes these hurts can be forgotten but sometimes this will even impact you in a life changing way. Nonetheless, these are just waves and these can be powerful in hurting you but your soul will never wither, your strong heart will take over and you will still have power over yourself and everything. In all my battles, I have chosen and decided now that I shall just laugh at it. Most of the time it will tend to crush my little heart but it will never ever make it to touching my soul. My feelings and emotions are as important as anything but these are my own and I have control on everything I have within myself, which will not let my soul wither away. It will only make me stronger. And that’s what you need to do, make everything be felt by you but have control over your emotions. Do not let it get to you very deep that your soul burns. Make it essential but decide that you, of all people, will know better what’s good for you.

Waves may crash on you endlessly, sometimes you’re prepared but sometimes it will come as powerful as a thunder, mighty as a sea king but your heart and soul will be stronger. Keep it stronger and be brave.

A Book Review: The Girl On The Train

To start off, I love reading psychological thriller fictions. It makes me feel jumpy, I like the feeling of trying to find out the real deal behind the story. Now off to my book review lol.

I am rating 3/5 stars for this book.

The Girl On The Train is smartly written. It really has this “wtf is happening?!” sort of feel on the book. On the technical side: I love how the author Paula Hawkins can easily describe what’s going on in the scene which made it easier for me to see the scenario.

Also on the technical side: Maybe it’s not my type, like the style and how it was laid out. I like the different perspectives but it doesn’t stitch the story or the plot good enough for me to feel totally mind fucked. I guess I held too much expectation on this novel which left me a bit disappointed with how the story turned out.

In conclusion: I like the book but I didn’t feel the way I expected to feel. I was expecting a mind blowing plot twist. I was expecting a bang and “woah didn’t see that coming?!”. I guess towards the end, I have a hunch and it didn’t make a lot of sense as to why that should be the twist.

Overall, I like how it was written. I enjoyed the journey. Didn’t feel like it was a chore reading it. I wouldn’t recommend it though. Especially to people who loves thriller so much. But if you are looking for a good book different from your YAs, then this book is something nice! Also, I’m taking into account that I tried finishing it 1.5 days which felt super dragging for me and made it frustrating to find the “meh” or “blah” ending.

I have yet to watch the movie if I get a copy soon but I’m not on my toes, thinking I have more important things to do than watch it. I’m not being harsh. And for the ones who loved the book, good for you! Maybe it wasn’t what I expected to be that’s why I was giving it a 3/5 stars lol.




You might be thinking I’m crushed and my spirit is in a really bad condition but I guess I don’t have the right to feel very lonely and sad despite the past events. With my aunt committing suicide, I am slowly accepting it and lamenting but prayers are giving me so much strength in facing this difficult time. Also, my father is very ill but he’s trying to be strong so I am with him all the way through prayers as well. I am trying to be very positive, I really am and I feel like I am doing a good job at it. So far I didn’t have any breakdowns and I didn’t have to ugly cry in front of people—that’s a good thing isn’t it?

Last Thursday, I went to Fullybooked (it is a book shop in the Philippines and there’s one near my office and it’s a huge one) I went there and bought a total of 5 books. It’s my “retail therapy” and I love it!

I started reading The Girl On The Train and so far it got me hooked that I am having a hard time trying to finish it. Part of me want to slow down a bit but part of me want to move faster to get me to the revelation already! Also, I feel like I really wanna find out what’s up but kinda don’t because by then the thrill is going to be over? Stuff like that! But whatever, I’ll be finishing the book today, I have like a few pages left. I wanted to finish it last night but I can’t, my eyes are too tired and I’m falling asleep between pages. Lol.

Do you know the “Wreck This Journal” journal? I’ll put a photo of it soon but it’s sort of a journal with instructions. The instructions are super ridiculous that it’s fun to do it! I am trying my best to be as creative as I should, BUT I THINK I AM FAILING DESPERATELY. So I checked a few pins on pinterest and got a bit of inspiration there. I can’t wait to do some for my journal and I’ll keep you guys posted!

Now, I’m thinking of sharing a bit of my mind about the books I’ve read. So from now on, I’ll be writing my own book reviews! There will be a segment here on my blog that would be for book reviews. I’m excited about these new things for my blog and I hope to share inputs and ideas with you all.

Today is Saturday and I will probably hangout with a few of Kyxarie’s friends (my friends also hehe) and have Ramen and a few drinks afterwards.

“Let today be filled with hope and love”

May Your Soul Find Eternal Rest

Where do I begin? Where do I start and how do I say goodbye? What should come first and what should come last? Okay. Breathe. Let’s give it a go.

At past 11 in the evening, I got a message from my Aunt A. and told me very quickly that my Aunt J. (my Godmother) died.

I was so shocked and I racked my brain trying to remember “was she sick?” I asked immediately what (the fuck) happened and my Aunt A. said that Aunt J. committed suicide. Hung herself inside the bathroom and died (a slow and probably very painful death) It was my Cousin N. who saw my Aunt J and called for help immediately. It was too late cause Aunt J probably died for hours already and there was nothing they can do. My Cousin N called Aunt A about it and that’s how we all found out.

My ill father needs to endure this painful death of his sister and I can’t even imagine how hard it is for my dad! Let alone how hard it is for my cousins left by my aunt and her husband!

I can’t put into words and can’t even imagine how everyone in our family (dad’s side of the family) is dealing with this. It would be the saddest Christmas.

I guess I’ll write down what I would want to tell my godmother.

Dearest Ninang J., The last time we saw each other was 5 years ago. It was a brief encounter since my friends and I just drove our random asses to Batangas and you were there with dad! I was so happy to see you. You were joking how I still look good despite being short. I was not chubby back then so you told me to keep that figure cause you know my mom’s genes included chubby genes lol.

Now that you’ve gone away, all our memories are coming back. You were the one responsible for all my big ribbons back when I was a child. You were the crafty aunt and you inspired me to do my own stuff with crafting. It was so fun to be your niece and goddaughter.

I want to ask you a lot of things, I want to tell you stuff but I guess I have not tried collecting my thoughts right now. My feelings are all over the place and all I can do is stay shocked as I have been last night.

I am a firm believer of God and I just pray, hope and pray that may the Lord God bless and have mercy on my aunt’s soul. Wherever you are, may you rest in peace. May you find the light, may the Lord forgive you and shower you with endless love.

May you find eternal rest.

How to deal with Suicide?

It is past 11pm here.

I planned out my day tomorrow and vowed that it will be a good day, that I will not let anything crazy ruin it.

I was about to sleep when my aunt sent me a message and told me that my other aunt commited suicide and is now gone.

Now how do I deal?

Would my day tomorrow be okay? Is it possible to even be okay?

How is this happening when it’s only a few weeks before Christmas? 😢